My Dear Lost One
by Mana D. Campbell
Summary: With Allen as Neah twin brother, it was as if their platonic relationship is going hay-wired. But no worries, Mana was still his brother -their- only he was the oldest of the three. Though sometimes it feels like Nea was the older brother. With reincarnating Ex-exorcist behind their back, how will they react? Pairing: Based on your own imagination. Reincarnation. 21-century.
1. Chapter 1: Dreams and Nightmares

**Close your eyes,**

 **And make me real.**

* * *

"Aaahh!" He screeched, clawing his face with his nails. His hands parted from his face as it was forcefully pulled do it would no do any further damage.

"No! No! No!" He continued to scream, the metalic taste of blood and the salt evident tears mixing in his mouth.

"It's okay. . ." The other soothed, tender hands wiping away the tears that dared stray.

"No. . ." He continued to sob, the next words stuck in his throat. "I dreamt of it again. . .you died. . .I killed Mana. . .and there was so much death. . .so much tragedy. . ."

"It was simply a dream-"

Silver eyes snapped open, burning with red as it was exposed to air. "It was so real. . .felt so real. . " His hands traveled up to his hair, trying to pull it's root but it was block by the other occupant of the room.

"It's not real Allen. . .it's not real. . ." Neah sounded almost pleading. Looking directly at Allen's fear stricken eyes.

"I died in the end Nea!" Allen exclaimed, shaking when he said that. "The feeling of death was so real. . .bleak. . .dark. . .the void."

Neah grabed Allen shoulder so he'll stop shaking. He doesn't need Allen to go back into one of his fits again, he have little sanity left for tonight.

"You're still alive Allen. . ." He spoken softly, afraid that is he'd spoken any louder his brother would start loosing it again. Though he was the one who lost it for a second, of viscious vision of his past threatening to consume him whole.h

"I dissolved into nothingness. . ." Allen whispered ruefully, his hands slumped to his side as if he finally given up. And yet, his eyes continues to stare at Neah's, boring into his very soul. Unblinking, the poor lighting of their room made his pupil dillate so much, they looked like reptiles.

Though a bit frightened, Neah continued. "You exist Allen. . ."He replied, like he always does. His palm reaching out to Allen's chest to feel the rhytmic beating of his heart. "Tangible. . ."

His hands traveled upon Allen's face, covering his left eye and right ears. "Perceptible. . ."

Then he brought his face closer, until their forhead touch. Their combining to became a chaotic state of a chessboard, midnight wooving along with moonlight. It was of black and light, of good and evil. . .it was easy to draw the lines between them, They were never any combination of grey, and they were never the same. It was always two parts of a whole.

"You exist Allen. . ."Neah continued, hearing closely as Allen's breathing began to slow down. Gently, he lowered Allen back to his side of their bed.

Allen gripped his arm so thightly, it began to bleed. Neah gulped down the painful wince that threatens to leave his mouth. Neah retracted back his arm, almost screecing when Allen gripped it once again. His longnails digging into his skin from where he know it would bleed.

He already have plenty of scars to prove that.

Neah starred at Allen, who was facing him on the bed. Allen's hair covered the right side of his face, making his left eye stood out. It starred at him, simply starring, sharp and childlike, burning like molten silver.

"You're real right?" Allen said, almost audible as if his lips were simply moving. The dim light making Allen appear almost surreal, as if he was a ghost.

"Of course I am," Neah answered confidently, he then pushed away Allen's hair so it wouldn't cover his face anymore.

"You can see me right?" Neah continued and proceedd to cover Allen's left eye with his palm. "You can fell my touch right?"

Now, he released Allen's eye and notice how dull his right was compared to his left. The left was bright, still maintaining it's innocence tanquility that was usually destroyed by experience. And his right was a bit dull, a tarnished silver and yet still maintain it's nobiliy.

Sometimes, it was easy to forget that Allen's left was the one blind and not the other way around.

Though others don't usually notice this, but he and Mana was the only one who knew. Not even heir parents know and they should never know or they would hate Allen further.

"I'm as real as you are," Neah seemingly replied to Allen prevoius question again. Neah smiled softly as he closed both of Allen's silver eyes with his hand.

Allen breathe out sharply, releasing Neah's right arm and snatched his left. "I don't want to sleep. . ."Allen whispered, almost pleading. "They emerge from it. . .my nightmares."

"I'll sing for you then," Neah said while releasing his left hand from Allen's hold. "Like I'll always do," A wavered smile.

"Please," Allen pleaded, sounding scared, so scared. No longer the hero he used to be.

Neah took a large breathe, supplying his brain with a large amount of oxygen as exhaustion was stalking him up close. And yet, he forced himself to stay awake, to be allert.

 _"So the child went into deep sleep. . ."_

That cursed song. That viled song.

 _"Among the grey ashes in the burning flames. . ."_

It continued to haunt him even after death. And yet, he still couldn't bring himself to hate it.

" _First one. . .then two. . .rises upon your beloved face."_

Maybe this was a punishment of some sort. Karma is what people now call it. Though back then, it used to be called devine retribution.

To love and hate the same thing.

 _"A thousand dreams. . .trickled back to Earth. . ."_

He heard Allen whimpered, and instinctly, he reached out to soothe him.

 _"On the night when the silver eyes were trembling. . .The shining you were born."_

His eyelids felt so heavy, as if it were made from lead, But still he waited at least, until everything is alright.

 _"Across millions of years. . .the prayer have already retuned back to Earth. . ."_

Allen shivered and Nea checked Allen's body temperature using the back of his hand.

 _"I will still continue to pray."_

Nea frowned, feeling heat emmiting from Allen's skin. He undrapped the blanket that covered Allen's body and lowered the AC temperature.

 _"Please leave. . .upon this child you love. . ."_

Without moving from his spot, Nea grabbed his handkerchief and soak it into a glass that contained cold water that he'd wanted to drink for tonight. But unfortunately. . .then he proceed to twist it at each end so get rid the extra water that might have drip on Allen's face.

 _"Among our joined hand. . ."_

He gently layed down the folded cloth onto Allen's forhead. His cheek flushing a soft pin beacause of his fever. Though, Nea rationalize that it would go away tonight.

 _"Leave a gentle kiss. . ."_

And finally, he too close his eyes. As the serene calmness washes over the room, he accepted the invitation of dreams. Hoping with all his heart it wasn't mistaken as _nightmares_.

Yes, if only _those_ were nightmares.

* * *

 **Yeah! I finally got this idea out of my head. I was reading Tokyo Ghoul and suddenly a couple of delusion from chapter 114. My computer's down so I'm using my father's laptop for this. Hope you comment, and sorry if there's any spelling mistake since there's no autocorrect. I should continue The Virtue of Insanity and Don't Stop; It's our duet as soon as my computer is fix. Until then, I would be updating onle once in a while.**


	2. Chapter 2: Rain or Storms?

**Shout out loud,**

 **So I can feel.**

* * *

"Hey Allen," Neah called, watching worriedly at the grey clouds that hung heavily in the sky. "Did Mana brought his umbrella?"

Allen hummed as he thought of it, he too was worried of his older brother. But today was a blur of waking and getting ready, he wasn't sure. "Mana _always_ have an umbrella," Allen confessed, stressing out the word always. Neah nodded besides him, but it was more like reassurance rather than the answer.

Well at least they hope, it wasn't a storm.

.

.

.

"Good morning children!" The teacher greeted, a bit too excited in his taste.

"Today, we're going to learn decimals and fraction. . ."

Neah drowned out the teacher before she could even finish her sentence. He'd always hated maths. . .also science. . .and literature. . .in short, he hated all the goddamn subjects. Why did he need to relearn all of it anyway, sorcery is much more fun. It's a bummer that humanity has forgotten about it.

Truly sad, it _use_ to be so much fun learning magic.

"Ahem," Neah recognize as his maths teacher voice. Neah look up, receiving the glare he was getting by her with a bored frown. She gave him a bitter smile, and handed him a piece of chalk. " _Allen_ dear, why don't you solve the problem at the blackboard,"

Neah frowned and glance at the real Allen besides him, who was wearing his best poker face to not react. "But I'm Neah. . ." He muttered before standing up from his chair and walked towards the front of the class.

His fellow classmates snickered and whispered to each other as he passed them. "Miss Dhamendra didn't even teach us yet. . ."

Hearing that, he gritted his teeth. That damn twat! Wanting to make a fool out of him. . .Well he show her. . .and everyone, you should not mess with Neah D. Campbell.

He glance back at his teacher, who was smirking smugly as she stares at him from the middle of the class. He turned his gaze back to the blackboard, reading the problem and grinned.

Seconds later, the students and teacher alike gaped at him. Shocked to see him solving the problem with ease, he glanced back at the blackboard behind him and cringe. The answer was written in cursive and elegant writing.

"Ouch!" Neah muttered to himself as he made his way back to his seat, releasing the shocked spell the class was cursed by.

The teacher cleared her throat and made her way to the front of the class. She begins teaching them on how to solve the problem by turning the decimals into fraction, then, change the position of the second fraction. . .

"Do you have anymore comments Neah?" Finally getting his name right, the teacher ask him. . .again. Maybe he should start paying attention to her class.

Neah grinned. "What's next? The Pythagoras Theorem?"

Maybe or maybe not.

To be or not to be, such is the question.

* * *

"Let go of me Neah," Allen demanded, trying to wrench Neah from his arm. Their. . .problem. . .had invited the curiosity of the fellow students in the hallway. Earning all king of glances; glares, curiosity, amusement and lecherous.

"But Allen. . ." Neah practically whined, hugging Allen like a koala. His grip were more like of an octopus.

"We have different classes!" Allen practically shouted, glaring at Neah with all the heat he could muster.

Neah chuckled darkly, looking back at Allen with an insane glint in his eyes. "The teacher won't dare to separate us. . .and anyone who does. . .I'll destroy them. . ."

"Neah!" Allen called exasperatedly.

Neah blinked, feigning innocence this time. "It's okay Allen, only my hands will get dirty-"

"Neah!" Allen called again, this time panicking a little.

Neah continued, Allen's cry falling into deaf ears. "I'll make sure nothing will go against us-"

This time Allen sigh, adopting a tone that a mother would use on her child. "Neah. . .I have to go to my class, and you have too-"

"But Allen. . ." This time it was Neah who interrupted.

"We're already ten minutes late, so can you release me?" Allen tried to sound sweet, and he did. Neah hesitated for a couple of moments until finally, he release his hold on Allen. And before the other could react, Allen turned his heel and began sprinted to the other end of the hallway. Ignoring the cries Neah was emitting.

"Sorry Neah," He shouted. "But like I said, we're late,"

.

.

.

"Good morning Allen," The teacher greeted him as soon as he entered his class.

"Good morning sir," Allen replied, quickly diving between the rows of desk to get to his seat.

"Now class. . ." The teacher continued from where he'd left. "There's a difference between meteor and comets. . ."

Allen sigh, tuning out his surrounding area. Even though it was a new subject, he felt like he knew it already. All of the subjects were like that, especially history and science.

His eyelids felt heavy and he could feel the faint throbbing of his head. Allen wanted to sleep so badly, but he didn't want to disturb the class if he got a nightmare.

He'd always gotten nightmares didn't he? But Neah was the only one who consoled him when he gotten one, along with Mana.

Suddenly, he felt guilty denying the presence of his older brother earlier.

"Allen?" The teacher called, worried.

"Hmm," Allen hummed in reply, opening his eyes that he didn't realize was close. The teacher loomed over him, looking worriedly. But he wondered why since he was feeling fine.

"You have a fever child," The old teacher said, after putting the back of his hand on Allen's forehead. "You should rest in the infirmary," The teacher continued.

"No. . .I'm fine. . ." Allen denied, not wanting to trouble them even more.

"You should," The teacher said, pulling a piece of paper from his coat. "I'll give you a permission slip,"

The teacher handed him the piece of parchment and urged him out from his seat. Allen nodded, slinging his bag over his shoulder and exited the class.

And now that he was out in the hallway, where the hell is the bloody infirmary.

* * *

"Oh, Allen," Neah sigh, looking at Allen with a bored yet amusement glance.

"Shut up, Neah," Allen hissed, covering his eyes with his arms.

"I knew that something bad will happen if we're separate," Neah continued.

Allen laugh dryly. "Why are you here? Shouldn't you be at class?"

Neah hummed as he thought of the answer. "School's already over Allen,"

Allen shot up, scaring the hell out of Neah. He starred at Neah who was on the floor with wide, shocked eyes. "What?" He ask, if it were not he was sick, would be shouting. "It's over?"

Neah returned back to his seat, chuckling awkwardly as he did so. "Yeah. Been so for the past half hour."

"Why didn't you wake me up?" Allen ask ridiculously, his voice a pitch higher that only occurs when he was feeling frustrated.

"You were so cute. . ." Neah replied with a dazed smile.

And now did he realize the phone in Neah's hand, with it's camera app open. Honestly, he was worried over his brother sanity sometimes, with his complex over both Mana and him.

"Neah. . ." Allen called with an exasperated sigh.

"Yes?" He perked up from his phone. "If it's about the photo I already send it to Mana,"

Allen sigh again, he was worried over both of his brothers sanity. . .and morality. Especially their moral.

"Let's just go home," Allen said as he slide down down the bed. How did he get into the infirmary in the first place? It was a blur of entering the wrong rooms.

"Okay," Neah said and grabbed Allen's bag before the owner could bend to get it. "I'll hold it for you," Neah continued while helping Allen to his feet.

"Fine. . ." Allen grumbled, he'd always hated being helpless as if he was a child. Which was ironic since he was a child, an eleven -almost twelve- year old, with Mana being a good four years older.

"Come on Allen," Neah urged Allen, opening the door for him. Allen jogged slightly towards the door and closed the light and fan of the infirmary before he exited.

"If you want, I could carry you?" Neah ask, suddenly appearing by Allen's side.

"No thanks," Allen replied, he did not like to be carried.

"Whoa!" Allen suddenly screeched, tripping before he regained back his balance. Through squinted eyes, he observe the hallway.

Why was it so dark?

Allen could faintly hear the sound of gentle tapping, like thousand of ants marching on the floor. And the sound of distant thunder.

He realize the answer, it was raining outside. No wonder it was so dark.

He jogged towards Neah and unzipped his bag that Neah was carrying. He pulled out something that looks like a long cylinder, but once they were at the entrance where the light was on. Now it was obvious that it was an umbrella.

"Here," Both Allen and Neah said unison, handing each other an umbrella. The both of them froze at the same time, suddenly realizing their mistake.

The both of them have an umbrella that they share, Mana also have one in case it would rain. So that means, in their family, there's only two umbrella and currently they have two umbrella so. . .

"Mana!" The both of them cried and hurried into the storm. One of the two umbrella quickly opened.

* * *

"Hahah," Mana chuckled.

"I knew that something would be wrong the moment Allen left me," Neah said, holding the umbrella for both he and Allen.

"I thought we were over this?" Allen shot up ridiculously.

"Nay" Neah said dramatically. With his free hand, he put it on his heart. "Thee has't hath left me and so didst mine own heart,"

Allen grumbled in reply. "I misprise thee,"

"Square not," Mana said, trying to calm down the twins.

"Nay," Both of them reply

* * *

 **It was better when I imagined it in my head. But I finish it so I don't care. Please like and leave a comment so I can decide which story I should work on more.**

 **Nea knows**

 **Allen and Mana is oblivious**

 **Now, what should I do for the next chapter?**

 **I don't know how the US learning system works, but in my country they're in their sixth year. Please correct me if I'm wrong since the setting is at America.**


	3. Chapter 3: Eating Lunch

Hey, can you hear it?

You can't?

The voice that was drowned by the wind's.

* * *

You know? For a twelve year old, Allen was extremely observant. For an example, like the lady who was sitting across him; right hand folded in front while the left is covering her mouth, laughing but one could notice the absence of wrinkles around her eyes. Her partner on the other hand was oblivious, naiive, using flamboyant gesture and too loud tone to crack jokes, tryinv to please the lady. A little box bulging from his bag besides him.

She wants nothing to do with him and he want everything to do with her.

It was too simple really.

Or another, like the waitresses over there, over his right. Smiling a bit to forcefully as she took the customers plate, and the customer who was trying to get her attention. Smiling like an idiot, thinking that his cat call is working. Allen could see the way how she retracted her arm to get her notebook in her pocket, to write down the customer's order and how she gritted the pencil tightly everytime he ask for recommendation for the second time, tiny cracks appearing. Maybe she was holding it a bit too tightly.

If it weren't for manners then the waitresses would have grace the customer with her fist already. Leaving a gift of a few broken teeth.

Or the best yet, the old lady sitting directly across him. Her phone in her hand pointing directly at him and he notice how she would tap the place where the photo button was supposed to be a bit too frequently. And from her mouth, Allen could make out the words, "Young people this days-"

"Dying their hair white, tattooing their face-"

"Scarred hand-"

"What is the world coming to"

To be honest, that's what most old people thought of him and Allen could just read the disgust on her face. Screaming like the deadlines of the news, written in red.

If it were him a few years younger ago, then he would stand up from his seat and cried out that he was naturally an albino, the scar over his left eye was a birth mark and his left hand was a birth defect. But since he was a more mature version of himself he simply sat down quitely and contemplated about life.

You know, the usual twelve year old agenda.

Mana had told him that he was too philosophical once, when he was contemplating wether ketchup was juice.

But honestly, it was logical since juice is simply fruits in it's liquid form and ketchup is the liquid form of tomato. So technically ketchup IS juice, but instead of drinking it, you simply use it as an accessory for other food to improve it's taste.

Then, what about chili sauce-

Wait! Let's not get of track here.

So, yeah! Here he was, an albino twelve year old thinking about life.

Too frequently, not on certain occasion.

Like instance.

There's this pained weigh on you chest sometimes, when you feel incontinent. As if something is not right, something is a missing, like there's a lost piece of. The missing piece of a puzzle that you'll never find.

It brings your heart down, pressuring it, compressing and gripping and the only way to make it stop is to claw you heart out. From all the pressure his heart turned into a diamond.

Allen sometimes thought of it for a moment, it would be easy. Much easier than to endure, if he just use his left hand. It would be outside in mere seconds, disconnected from the weird. But then again . . .He would die.

And dying was never on his agenda.

A different method, he had proposed was far more easier but not always the accurate way. Singing, humming(more synonym). It would sometimes release the weigh of his heart and if not, it would make it heavier.

Filling his heart with a pang of sadness, grief, melancholy-

Allen hummed in content, tapping his finger on the table with the beat of the sing. His short legs dangling from the chair, back and forth, back and forth

Just back and forth, back and fort-

"Hello," Someone called from his left, and since his left field of vision is forever out of order, he was force to turn his head to see the fellow stranger.

Honestly, why did he always attract all sort of people? Can't a twelve year old wait for his family while they buy him lunch in peace! Was it so much to ask?!

Coming from the scarred albino, maybe yes. His mere appearance attracts all sort of attention, and if he was with his brothers, it would be like a circus. Piercing golden eyes that they did not inherit from their parents and neither did he.

No wonder they traveled often.

Said stranger greeted him a blinding smile, almost too bright. Allen wanted to cover his eyes of it weren't for manners. "Hello miss, you look rather. . .stunning," The man said, stretching one of his hands. His tone, Allen could notice, have a hint of hostile in it.

Allen could also notice the piercing starres that was coming from a certain table, with three males sitting in it. They were looking. . .observing. . .Like a wolf stalking it's prey. Trying to go unnoticed.

Allen almost snorted, it didn't work.

He notice a chair loosely hanging from the table, with a cup of abandoned water across it. Instantly, jumping to his -usually- accurate conclusion, Allen instantly hates the stranger.

So Allen graced him with an act of ignoring. After all, Mana had said not to talk to stranger. Besides, if he replied, then it whould pursue the man further. . .And also his goon.

Where was his brothers with complexes over him when he needed them the most?

But more importantly, how did the stranger even mistaken him as a girl?

He was not feminine right. . .Right?

Noticing the rejection, the man feigned a pain look on his face but still maintain his grin. Allen just wants to turn that smile upside down. "It's okay, I won't bite. . ." He said, leaning close to Allen. Too close, infact he could smell the thick cholone radiating from like a hazardous gas.

He should buy some face mask after this, or a mask. Like Jason the Thirteenth or like this character, a black leather mask that covers the lower part of his face. Or a-

"But I will," Someone growled, who Allen instantly recognize as Nea and accompanied by the sound of clanging metal. Allen glance back, smiling at the scene of Nea glaring at the stranger, who now backed away a step from the seething stranger.

As he noticed where Nea's fist was connected, Allen grimaced. Hand shaking a little but from clutching it too tightly, not from fright. His hand was bleeding, little rivers of crimson flowing from little holes as punishment for punching the poor, poor table. Making a dent on it metal surface.

"Go!" Nea hissed, his golden eyes blazing dangerously. Literally glowing with heat but at the same time looked like frozen ice. Nea was angry, no he was furious, a mixture of cold and heat.

Allen could notice, more like see, the message Nea's eyes was screaming. 'Go or you'll regret your very existence'. Though it seemed unnotice as the older man coked an eyebrow, his hands crossed over his chest and with a smug Smirk, he said. "And what will you do about it,"

Allen gasped and nearly coked on air, he starred at the stranger, eyes wide of disbelief. His face distorting into a look of sympathy, humans were always foolish weren't they?

Dude! Did you NOT notice the dent on the bloody metal table! imagine what would happen to your head. Allen thought, now watching the situation unraveling into something more interesting. He should have bought popcorn on the way here, he'd seen someone selling it actually. Pity he didn't bought it.

It seemed like the whole restaurant was also onto Allen. Now that the attention is centered to them

"What will I do about it?" Nea repeated the question with a tone akin to disbelief, he chuckled in amusement. His face hidden underneath the shadow of his hair and when he gaze up, his amber eyes screamed: 'I will end your very existence!'

Wait! Maybe he didn't need his brothers with complexes over him. He could handle it alone, with a more peaceful solution. With violence, but peacefully.

". . .I'll make you regret your whole forsaken life!"

Or maybe not, it was more entertaining with them.

Before any of the two reacted and do something stupid, painfully stupid, Mana interjected, suddenly appearing from behind like a goddam fairygodmother. Maybe he actually was. "I left you to buy us our drink Nea" Mana said slowly, carefully choosing his words. "Is it so much to ask?"

Oh, right! Nea went to buy us drinks from another stall and Mana went to the bathroom, leaving them for a while. And in the end, he was left to fend of their tables from any intruder.

Speaking of drinks, where was it?

Allen searched for it and he found it, thankfully at the table behind Nea, safe from any harm. Allen scooped over, grabbing the paper cup with his right hand and tasted, maybe there was poison in it. One cannot be sure.

He continued watching them, now that there was another character showing up. It would be more entertaining.

On second thought, this whole scenario was caused by him. And yet here he was, watching them as if he was a part of the audience and not the catalyst. How funny it was, for a situation to quickly shift.

Nea pointed a finger at the stranger, who was know frozen in surprise. Which was understandable, one would also froze of they were in the stranger's position. "But he hit on Allen!" Nea cried out, a tone of both disbelief and horror.

Mana sigh and close his eyes, looking as if he aging as he did so. "Even so, there's a more peaceful way to-" His eyes snapped open, glaring at the stranger with the same intensity as Nea, only more insane. "Wait!" Mana deadpan, putting his hands up as the universal sign of stop. "Did you just say he hit on Allen?"

"Yes," Nea replied nonchalantly, sealing thestranger's doom.

Mana glared at the stranger, his eyes glinting tensely of both fire and ice. "How dare you?" He hissed, venom coating it sweetly like syrup.

Shortly after, they were all banned from the restaurant and all it's other chain in the state.

Who knew the stranger was the manager's son. What a small world it was.

* * *

"Nea. Mana." Allen called, gaining the attention of the previous mentioned. They went into a different restaurant, after deciding that there was no douche in it.

"Do I look like girl?" he ask, taking a bite from his sandwich. Its content: ham, lettuce, cheese, pickled cucumbers, tomato and good old ketchup.

Nea hummed for a moment, contemplating the answer before he decided, letting down his own sandwich back onto it's paper wrapper. "Actually yes," Nea confessed.

Allen thought of it for a moment before he let it drink in into his subconscious."Maybe I should cut my hair," Allen said out loud. Maybe he should, maybe he shouldn't, or maybe he should use a different alternative and let his hair grow freely without tying it.

"If you want, I could do it for you?" Nea ask, sounding like he mean every words "And also Mana's,"

Mana cleared his throat, almost choking on his water. "I'm sorry Nea, but you suck at it," He used an apologetic tone, sounding not so sorry.

Hearing that Nea frowned, he was good at cutting things. Like his hair for instance.

Maybe. . .

Nea sigh. "Fine. . ."

Allen returned back to his sandwich and Mana returned back to his book, he's going to have an exam next week. And Nea, he just starred at them.

Wondering if he could keep the little world of his from crumbling.

We won't know until we try.

* * *

 **Sorru if there's any mistakes, I did this using my phone. I'm suppose to sleep since I'll go to the hospital this morning but LOL Insomania. Who knew that polystyrene could burn so finely, I'm going to gather gunpowder from the explosive in my house and burn it tomorrow. It was raining this night :(**

Bye~ stalk you later.


	4. Chapter 4: Gut feeling

You know that day when it goes downhill the moment you woke up. Like you slept in your bed last night but when you wake up the next morning you find yourself at the tip of a mountain and your bed rocks back and forth, threatening to plummet back to the Earth.

Yeah, Allen was having that kind of day.

Well ironically, he did fall down. Not from a mountain of course, but from his bed whilst he was trying to close the alarm of his clock. It was a Sunday, why would anyone even wants to wake up?

He did scream. . .but it was later, much later. When Nea locked him in the bathroom, singing flamboyant songs from the other side of the door like Hello From The Other Side, Do You Want to Build a Snowman but unfortunately he stopped when Allen murdered the door.

So now which leads to the current predicament of him and Nea, eating breakfast with a seething Mana. Mana can't get angry at them, not for long at least. Sooner or later. .

"Guys. . ." Mana sigh, rubbing his temple to soothe his current headache. He'd been doing that frequently, Allen wonder why?

Mana look at them, simply starring at them with the eyes of disappointment. Then, he glance at the watch hanging from the wall behind them, eyes widen in frustration. Surely. . .

"It's just 9 a.m." He deadpan, adopting a tone that one would use on a child but there was still a hint of amusement in it. . .and it's gone.

Mana was not amused.

"It was Neah fault!" Allen cried out, pointing a finger at his older twin. He'd just woken up this morning only to be imprisoned in the toilet while his dearest brother sing outside of the door.

It was either the door or his sanity!

"You don't have to murder the bloody door Allen!" Neah too hissed, wanting to prove his innocence that doesn't even exist. But deep down, it does and deeper down lies a twisted, demented kid who once tried to set the school on fire.

Actually, he and Allen did, but that's an another story that ended up badly, so badly. . .some poor lad accidentally caught in their trap, it was supposed to be the principle but. . .

"You don't have to lock me in the bathroom Nea!" Allen retorted, crossing his arm over his chest. He glared at the culprit, silver eyes meeting with golden.

Neah, seemingly unfazed by that he instead smiled sweetly like the bitter candy he is, only to find that there's no filling in it. "It's just payback darling," He purred, you could detect the amount of affection in his tone, so sweet like cotton candy, it was awful.

Allen was feeling extremely salty this morning.

"Well, dear, I hope you know I'd enjoyed the gift very much!" Allen retorted, you could almost see the sarcasm in it! As his sarcasm has transcended the rest of the four senses.

You could almost see all the flying ducks Allen give.

It was like a flock of bird, immigrating from West to East. Truly a sight to behold!

Mana, poor dearest Mana, simply sigh and left them, retreating back to his own world. He took a bite from his toast and began cutting the apple into tiny little pieces, imagining that it was someone's throat.

Brothers will simply be bothers

* * *

It was now peaceful, so goddamn peaceful, there was a feeling of traitorous in it. Mana was feeling unsure of this fine morning, conflicted, he was sure something will go wrong by this point.

"After breakfast, we're going to the supermarket. . ." Mana said, catching the attention of the two troublemakers.

His gut feeling was screaming: No! They should simply stay at home where they can contain the chaos and mayhem.

But his mind was screaming: Yes! They need to buy food supply, restock the freezer and buy more tools to fix the door.

Between those two it was obvious which one he'd chosen.

"I have to buy nails. . .and we still have wood from the last time. . ." He tried glared at them. Keyword: tried. Not even after five seconds, the glare whilted and instead, was replace by the look of apologetic.

He can't get angry at them, they were far too precious be.

"Allen," He called again softly, this time specifically calling one of the two brother. "You and Nea will restock, I already wrote the items," He slide down the piece of paper to Allen.

Allen nodded and saluted to Mana, putting the list in his pocket. "Yes sir," Allen said, trying to keep a straight face.

Mana nodded, playing along with Allen's little act. A smile broke onto his face and he could no longer contain his happiness.

"Eat you vegetables lieutenant!" Mana ordered, lowering the tone of his voice to match it with the tone of a superior.

"Yes sir!" The both of them said in unison and then, they laugh. The three of them, just them, in their own little world.

They were birds of a feather after all.

* * *

"Shut up Nea," Allen hissed under his breathe, fingers reaching out and toes at their tips. Unfortunately, he was too short to reach the object.

Nea, the taller of two, on the other hand didn't even tried to help his younger brother but instead cheer on him. But in the most annoying way.

"Bob the builder!" Nea sung, causing Allen to groan in agony. Torture, this is torture, pure and righteous agony.

"We can do it!" He continued, singing cheerfully as an attempt of pep talk. Allen gritted his teeth, limbs to short to reach the high shelf. If only he was taller, but No! Nea was the one who got the height genes.

"Bob the builder!" Nea continued to sing, oblivious to the glare he was being given. Allen was going crazy, Nea was the one driving him mad.

"Yes we-"

"Can't!" Allen interjected, releasing the hold on the shelf and jumped in front of Nea where he screamed in his face.

The item was not worth it, it's not like ketchup was delicious anyway.

.

There was a time, when He and Nea opened Mana's chemistry book. There was a chapter that piqued their interest and they wanted to try it out. It was fine the first few minutes, until they can't put the fire out.

Nea spent the next three hours, screaming bloody murder as he swung his arm like a bat. And one more thing, his arm was on fire.

They have a severe fire fetish.

It was officially the worst day ever for the both of them. (For Nea at least)

And Nea, like the genius he was, wanted to break the record.

"We're going on a trip-" Nea cried out, pushing the trolley faster while Allen was stuck between him.

"We're going to die Nea!" Allen shouted, screaming bloody murder when Nea abruptly swerved to the left.

"-On our favorite rocket ship!" Nea sung out happily, letting the trolley move on it's own accord.

"Zooming through the sky!" Nea continued, Allen's cries falling into deaf eat.

Yes, this manage to break the record. At least at that time, it was only Nea who was caught on fire. But this time, Nea brought Allen along with him.

"Little Einstein!"

.

The car trip back him was dreadful, Mana drove in silence. Nea fidgeted in his seat, looking back and forth between his two brothers. He opened his mouth to talk, to apologize maybe but was cut in unison by the two of them.

"I came in like a wrecking ball. . ." Nea sung out quietly as an attempt to lift the mood but his voice died out when Allen gave him a glare. A glare that promise him the end of his existence.

The reat of the trip was quite.

For you who are wondering why Mana can drive a car, don't. It involves a lot of explaining.

* * *

 **Sorry for any mistakes I made and also for the short chapter. It's hard updating using my phone. And thank you for Darkr13 for explaining how the US learning system worl. I kind of understand, do Americans school has extra curricular? Is it just clubs? My country has four so I'm a bit confuse.**


	5. Chapter 5: Lord and Lady

Who are _we_?

Who _were_ they?

Who was the _child,_

that was _forced_ to betray?

* * *

"Kill me now. . ." Allen groaned, slumping deeper into his chair and covered his eyes with his hands.

"Come on Allen. . ." Mana drawled, sounding as if he was whining. Golden eyes glinting in desperation, giving a pleading look to his younger brother. _"Please. . ."_

But the other didn't seemed to budge as he was too busy in his self loathing. After all, what kind of twisted fool would make Mana beg like that? Surely not him. But the favour was too much for him. .

"Just today Allen," Mana pleaded, he was begging and it looks like he was ready to get on his knees anytime soon now. "it's not going to be that long this time," It made Allen to dive deeper into embarrassment as an image flash through his mind.

What was he asking about anyway?

"Just one pose Allen! One drawing," He gripped the edge of the table, sliding down in it. Almost shaking the wooden table that they usually use to eat together.

What was Mana pleading for anyway?

Oh, Yeah! Mana wanted Allen to pose for him so he could sketch Allen. . .for a homework of course, and not some kind of brother complex urge. . .

Allen bit his lower lips, hard enough to made him wince in pain but not enough to bleed. He was looking conflicted at this very moment. It's a pity that his phone died or not, Nea would have taken a few pictures already. "Fine. . ." Allen sigh in agreement, then he smiled. An innocent smile, and knowing Allen too well he was anything but innocent.

Allen was rotten to the very core, but his brothers still loves him of course.

"But. . ." Allen said, adopting the tone of a child. He propped his arm on the table and looked at Nea, looking at him with amused eyes.

"Ho. Ho." Mana chuckled, covering his mouth with his hands.

An agreement passed between the two of them.

* * *

"Explain me why. . .?" Nea sigh slowly. sounding tired, _so_ tired of this bullshit.

"Why do I _have_ to wear this?" He picked up a lace, hands bend awkwardly as he did so, as if he was disgusted by it's very existence. Mana slapped his hand and continued back at what he was doing.

What was he doing anyway?

Nea stoped guessing the moment Mana put feathers in his hair and a. . .fan?

At least the corset was still understandable.

Mana ignored him, to invested in his work to realize that he was being ask. Allen sat not far for him, long silver hair tied into a ponytail. He was wearing a tailcoat, beneath it was a dress shirt and deeper down was a singlet. It was hardly surprising that Mana have this kind of clothing if compared to their previous. . _.costumes._

Nea once dressed as Jack Sparrow and Allen once dressed as a mummified pharaoh.

Nea to remembered back then, when he was forced to wear the outrageous and flamboyant clothing, just to leave an impression. But it was long ago, so long ago.

He felt like an old man.

But, this was the first time he ever wore this, and probably the last time.

"Why Allen?" He ask, not wanting to interrupt Mana who was busy working on his makeup. Afraid that it would threw Mana off balance and made him ruin the makeup, and in which, will be forced to do all over. Putting on mascara was like dismantling a bomb, you have to do it precisely and with care or if not it will explode.

Allen simply shrugged in reply, an amused smile playing on his lips. He grinned at Nea, playing the loose strands of his hair. "Because of reason. . ." He replied happily, feigning the look of innocence.

Nea sigh, resisting the urge to rub his aching temple. But instead. . .

"My dear _pure_ Allen!" He cried out dramatically, putting his hands over his heart. Causing Mana to finish the last touch abruptly. "Since when did you become so dirty minded?" Sarcasm was thickly layered in his tone, you could simply see it from his eyes.

Allen sneered and walked towards Neah. His dancing shoes tapping again the wooden floor and now, both could no longer contain their amusement. He bowed mockingly at Nea, and took one of his (or her) hand where he pulled the hand to his lips, just like in the paintings. Allen was wearing all black (his bowtie was an exception) and Nea was wearing all white (his ribbon was an exception).

Black and white, though separate can also become one.

And together, they fit so well.

But somehow, they were so out of it today, maybe because it's a Sunday and neither had started their essays and report that was due tomorrow. It's not like they have time to do it, being annoying was such a hard work. They should've been paid for it.

"It's just _payback_ dear brother," Allen said simply, answering the previous question. Glancing at Nea amused eyes, his back still bending in a bow with Nea's hand still locked in his. And in return Nea smirked, looking at Allen in amusement.

"You _made_ me wear a dress once so I'm just returning the favour." he continued in a teasing tone. Actually Nea and Mana did, locking him in the bathroom and bribed him with food. Allen at that time, just had woken up at so he was deprived from breakfast. And he can quickly become desperate in an empty stomach.

"And I still have the photo in my phone darling," Nea responded, not loosing against Allen on his own game. lips twisting into a smirk and eyes almost like Allen. His heals clicked against the floor as he swung it back and forth, back and forth-

"Well then. . ." Allen said slowly and straightened his back. Eyes glancing at Mana who was starting to record them, placing a camera on the table while his phone was in his hands.

Nea too stood up, gripping Allen's hand tightly to help him balance since he was wearing high heals. (And the fact he was wearing a corset) Though Allen was not the one to talk since he'd put a five centimeters padding ontot his sole, making him the taller one for a change.

"Care for a dance brother?" Allen ask, adopting a posh tone of a Brit.

"Unfortunately," Nea grumbled in reply, glaring at both Mana and Allen for forcing him into this absurdity.

And after a long and exasperated sigh, Nea finally gathered his mind. He took his position and Allen took his, arms around each other waist and hands stretched with each other.

They didn't need a melody or a song to dance, this was already natural for them. After all, the both of them have the souls of musician.

Fortunately, it wasn't tango this time, but rather a slow baroque. But still fast enough to make Nea loose his balance if he was wearing high heals. Neither of them would have dreamt the day Nea would've have to cross dress as a girl. And maybe that's why Mana was recording them, and the said teenager was also taking numerous photo of them using his phone.

There goes Nea's ego.

"Remind me again. . .why?" Nea ask slowly, making sure his grip on Allen didn't lessen. If he were to fall, then his close to nothing pride would've been nonexistent.

Allen shrugged while they were in a twirl and pulled Nea back, frowning slightly as he did so. "Why not?" He says with a blank face.

Nea sigh slowly, closing his eyes as he did so. Then, it snapped open, golden eyes blazing amusedly. The dark eyeliner around his eyes emphasising it's brightness, it was unsettling the least, as if the slightest glance is boring into your mind and thought. A devilish smirk made his way on his face, Allen too twisted his mouth into a feral smile.

"Let's turn the table," Nea said softly, sounding almost inaudible. His feet suddenly moving a beat faster and now, it was as if he was leading them.

"Of course," Allen agreed, matching with Nea's speed and tried to fasten the pace in which Nea tried to countered. Neither wanted to back of now. "We must make a show for the audience,"

A moment of silence pass through them and suddenly their eyes lock. It was as if they were telepathic, an understanding pass through them.

Allen stopped, arms securely around Nea's waist and hands locking with Nea. His elder brother suddenly dipped, head almost touching the ground, now looking at Mana outside down before Allen pulled him up again. And from now on, they wil become unpredictable

"A show fit for a king!" Nea cried out, heels slacking against the wooden floor and moving with the agility of a gymnast.

"A song fit for a hero!" Allen too cried out, making sure he was not so behind Nea. After all, the dance was also his.

* * *

 **This is like an apology for writinga short chapter. Pssht, who am I kidding? I been planning this chapter for days now. Well, onto business, thank you for all you reviews and likes, I'm very happy for having positive feedbacks and to be honest, I didn't expect much from this story. It's just for fun you see, I imagine different plot in my head and this stood out the most so I write it.**

 **Enough of long notes, most of you are probably wondering about their parents. I'll do that sooner or later, the idea is already in my head. And for the story progressing, I'll just do it slowly. Writing them as brothers is so fun, it's a pity that I couldn't include Cross in it but. . .**

 **Angst will come when I see fit, I'm sorry for the humour as I'm not actually that funny. I'm the type of person that laugh at my own jokes. And for updates, I'll do it when I have free time. School take part until 7:30 p.m. and some days it's twelve hour straight so I update in midnight and since I live near the equator, my 1 a.m. is your 1 p.m. so sorry! My sleep deprived mind can't notice all the mistakes.**

 **Well thank you, and goodbye. Until next time.**


	6. Chapter 6: Hard decision

**Ice cream!**

 **You scream!**

 **We all scream,**

 **for Ice cream!**

* * *

It was hot. How can this Monday be hot while last week Monday was raining heavily?

Allen doesn't know and the fact he was forced to wear long sleeve so he doesn't attract attention made it worst. It was a good thing he decided not to wear glove or not, he would have a heat stroke already.

Allen glared at the sun, shining so brightly and innocently, it was as if it's existence was not tormenting him. His eyes narrowed from the amount of light entering through one of his cornea, glaring at the impending cloud gathering nearby.

Can't you be more faster?

As soon as he got home, he's going to crank the AC, take a nice cold bath, change his clothes to something that's not smelly or wet and maybe, some ice cream, but he have to buy some at the market-

Market!

Mana told him to buy something from the market, but he'd already pass by it.

Allen stopped in his track, cursing his own forsaken existence. He felt so done, so done of his own foolishness.

"Allen?" Nea called worriedly, wondering why exactly he was the only moving forward.

"Market," Allen replied monotonous and when Nea gave him a confused look. He simply replied with the same answer again.

"I have to buy things from market, the market doesn't like you so bye!" Allen said, waving at Nea before turning his heal towards the opposite direction. Where he was forced to trace back his footsteps.

It was hot! So goddamn hot, maybe he should buy ice cream while he's at it.

* * *

Allen pondered, a plastic bag in his hands that he had asked earlier from the counter. Vanilla or chocolate or strawberry. . or chocolate chips. . or-

 _Why not all_? The rational side of him whispered.

 _Yes, why not a_ _ll?_ His seduction agreed.

Allen thought about it for a moment before he choose the tub at the corner of the fridge, it was a mixture of the three fundamental flavour of ice cream. Then, he picked a few other flavors in a quart tub. Now satisfied, he picked a few dry ice and put it in the plastic bag along with the ice cream so it will prevent melting.

The cashier was surprised to see him back with a large bag of ice cream and a can of tomato sauce. It was quite easy to tell which Mana had asked him to buy.

"24 dollars and 47 cents," The cashier said, giving him a bored look. Allen handed her thirty dollars and she took it quickly as if she'd worked as a cashier for years. Which she did actually, Allen had went to this market since he was five and almost everytime, it was the same cashier.

They lived in a small town after all, it's no surprised that they already gotten used to him. Well, except for the tourist and visitors who come for time to time.

But the residents here are still unsettled by him and his family. After all, parents who travel to often, an oldest son who is too protective over his family and twins who look look they came from hell. Their personality was already like it.

Allen slided the change into his pocket before grabbing the plastic bag. He asked for a spoon before he finally left, much to her pleasure.

The walk back home was still hot, but now that he have ice cream with him, it became bearable at least.

Allen moaned in pleasure, causing curious glance to be directed towards him. Well, he couldn't help it. . .the ice cream was so heavenly!

It was shocking to see that he was able to be aware of his surroundings even when he was giving his full attention to his ice cream. A snicker caught his attention and Allen turned his gaze to the source of it, not to sound paranoid or anything but, there's all sort of danger out there.

Allen knew it the hard way when he was once kidnapped by a cult and was forced to perform a couple of rituals for his safety. Of course Mana and Nea came to save him. . .which is weird since how did he even manage to track him down?

He tried to remember but the memory was like grasping the winds. It disappeared the moment he touch it.

Allen sigh, his memory was a train rack when it comes to detail. He was young at that time, four years younger, so maybe he forgot about it. He'd read a couple of survey before that adults who grew up in a traumatic environment tend to forgot things as a child. So maybe he was like, though he was not an adult. . yet.

Now rather then worrying about the past, let's focus about the present which is. . . the snicker.

Allen directed his gaze towards the source, eyes narrowing when he saw it and mind wondering what the world is coming toward to. A group of boys, all wearing the same uniform as his dear Mana was looking at him, observing his movement like a group of wolves stalking it's prey. They were huddled at the entry of an alley not far from him.

Trying hard not to be obvious.

 _Hahaha!_ They look like they're posing for some sort of magazine shot.

Allen wondered the headlines: Bad Boys of St. Peter High School!

Allen tried to keep a straight face, making it devoid of any that might have leak. And instead, he sigh and took a scoop from his chocoberry ice cream. Letting the heavenly taste of chocolate and blueberry melt on his tongue. Ice cream was more important than the current predicament.

Allen almost sneered when he passed them, the smell of tobacco was evident even from the small group, even from a few meters away. How did they even get into Mana's school was a wonder. Heck! How did they even get cigarettes was the more serious matter! He can't belief such a prestigious school would accept student like them.

And now they're following him. . .

Allen smirked, liking the remaining ice cream of his spoon. A game of tag will be in play.

* * *

"Hah. . .hah. . ." Allen breathed, regaining his breathing as he slumped against the wall.

It was stupid for him to smile at time like this, but here he was, grinning like an idiot. Or others would put it, like a madman but if it were Nea, he would say like an angel. But whatever type of smile it was, the reason behind it was amusement and sometimes hate too. Occasionally both.

And not far for him, he heard the retreating sound of footsteps and a torrent of curses. Not only were they troublemakers but they were bloody idiots as well. And they go to the same school as his Mana? They were all barmy, not even juvenile would accept prats like them.

"Where is he. . ." One of them growled as he walked past, only giving a brief glance to the alley Allen hid.

He'd almost laugh at that, if it were not he was hiding and technically out od breathe. Damn his stamina!

"We found him!" Someone shouted, making Allen's blood froze when he heard that and only to melt when they ran past him. Not bothering to even spare a glance.

Allen look in bewildered as they ran past him and almost wanted to shout: 'I'm here!' Which was a bad idea, all his idea were bad actually, as most had left disastrous results. And some even thought he'd lost the plot because his mind was able to conjur up such terrific idea.

There's a fine line between madness and genius and Allen had already erased that line.

Suddenly, a ringing filled his ears and if payed closely to it, it was as if someone was singing. Soon after, a faint glow caught his attention. Allen reacted on instinct thinking that it was a fire and only to relaxed when he realized it was only reflected light.

Allen crawled towards the object, wondering what kind of object could reflect light that's _not_ even there. . .

A necklace, a necklace that holds a gem. A perfect green cube, did Allen forgot to say that it was glowing! The bloody thing was possess!

"Allen!" Someone called, and on instinct he shoved the necklace into his pocket. The thoughts that was crossing his mind immediately drowned.

"Are you okay?" He turned his gaze towards the figure at the entry of the alley. Mercury eyes so wide and pupils so dilated, it look like the eyes of a cornered cat.

But as he recognize the figure and also the voice, Allen sigh in relief. Shoulder slumping in relaxation and everything starts to slow down, Mana hurried towards Allen. Golden eyes almost glowing in the darkness.

"I'm fine Mana," Allen said, stopping Mana's hands from fussing over him. But as he lets his gaze wonder, Allen frowned, noticing the trail of blood that was running down Mana's cheek.

How dare they-

Mana who just noticed that, simply chuckled and helped Allen back onto his feet. "It's not mine," He said, reassuring Allen that he didn't get hurt.

"You shouldn't walk alone next time," Mana scolded, using a harsh tone. "People who-"

"But you'll save me," That was the least he'd expected from his brothers. They were always there to save him, and somehow their presence have been a constant reminder of safety in his life.

Hearing that, Mans simply sigh, head bowing to hide the smile that was on his face. He gaze up, a hand shot to ruffle Allen's hair, bitting his lips to keep himself from laughing as Allen swat away his hand.

"Let go," He continued, grabbing the plastic bag that Allen had left against the wall. No longer did he tried to his his smile. He extended a hand towards Allen, waiting for Allen to take it. And as he did not, he continued. "Come on, my dearest Allen,"

Allen frowned, taking Mana's hand. There was just something about his tone that Allen could not phantom. Just a hint though, a silver shadow. And also, the unsettling grin that was on his face as they walk past the terrified teenagers. But Allen simply shrugged that, Mana was always like that to people who tried to harm him or Nea.

Even though it kind of destroyed the gentle image of him and tarnished his mask of a gentleman.

Allen grinned widely, trying to imitate Mana and stuck out his tongue at them, and also gave a two fingers salute. They froze as they saw the look Mana was giving them, as if daring them to try anything.

After all, they had tried to attack Allen a week ago, but thanks to his agility and speed, he'd manage to escape. Plus, they were also idiots. In addition, Mana was like a demon when it concerned his family. The devil himself actually.

"Why is there three tubs of ice cream Allen?" Mana suddenly ask as they were an earshot away. Frowning at the amount of ice cream in the plastic bag.

"You gave me thirty dollars to buy _a_ can of tomato souce!" Allen said elaborately. Emphasizing the word a.

"But three Allen! _Three!"_ Mana retorted, stressing the word three.

Allen sigh, surely Mana would have know this by now. Even children know this, such a simple fact. Tsk, tsk, Mana should have known better.

"There is never too much ice cream!"

* * *

 **I'm like sorry y'know, I'm helpless at chapter progression, like the last chapter was about Nea crossdressing as a girl and this is about Allen buying ice cream. My mother is also buying ice cream so maybe, I was moved by it. Well, to maku sure you understand.**

 **Allen and Nea are twins, they are eleven (almost twelve) years old. Mana is their older brother, who is sixteen. They live together without parents as they traveled often, their parents leave Mana money for their needs. Mana is in highschool and Allen and Nea are in elementary school (I think) so thru have part paths. That's why, in the early chapters, Allen and Nea raced to Mana when they realized they took Mana's umbrella.**

 **To be honest, I just want to write their shenanigans, but my friend say I have to further the plot sooner or later so maybe after this, it will go slowly. . .like a snail but faster then me running.**

 **Oh! And thank you for all the reviews. I would've listed all the users that posted reviews on this story but unfortunately I'm writing this with my phone and plus I sprained my left wrist cause I practiced piano too much. Damn Lizst!**

 **The screen is so little, I can't actually see the words I'm typing, but goodnight. It's almost twelve in the midnight, I need to be a good daughter for once.**


	7. AN

**Hello, this is Mana D. Canniball, just nothing much but I'm sure most you are wondering the full lyirics that Neah had sun at Allen right? No, but who cares. I'm going to do it anyway.**

Bob The Builder

Bob the builder

Can we fix it?  
Bob the builder  
Yes we can!

Scoop, Muck and Dizzy, and Rolly too  
Lofty and Wendy join the crew

Bob and the gang have so much fun  
Working together, they get the job done

Bob the builder  
Can we fix it?  
Bob the builder  
Yes we can!

Pillchard and Bird, Travis and Spud  
Playing together, like good friends should

Bob the builder  
Can we fix it?  
Bob the builder  
Yes we can!

Little Einstiens

We're going on a trip in our favorite rocket ship,

Zooming through the sky, little Einstein.

Climb aboard, get ready to explore

There's so much to find, little Einstein.

We're going on a mission, start to countdown 5,4,3,2,1.

Everyone to rocket rev it up now rrrrrrrrrrrr...

We're going on a trip in our favorite rocket ship

Zooming through the sky, little Einstein.

climb aboard get ready to explore,

There's so much to find little Einstein come on!

Lets go! little Einstein.

 **THE END**

 **Not only that, I would also like to express my thanks to those who read this far and had review on this story. So thank you jy24, Nadejdaro, TheMeWholsMe27, Darke13, WOFWalker, Binto, Ishidakiara and Ryuakilover. I wasn't able to do this before since my computer broke, but now I'm able because I got the hold of my father's laptop.**

 **-So thank you and goodbye~**


	8. Chapter 7: Am I being stalked?

The burning sunset. . .and the cries of the wind. . .

Children who are day and night. . .his entire sky, laughing. . .laughter so sickly sweet it was like honey.

It was surreal, like something from a dream. . .an illusion.

And just like how fragile it was, the dream shattered.

He woken up, breath hitching and tears stinging. And somehow, with a twisted sense of humor, he laughed. Wether he was laughing out of amusement or not, he didn't know.

"You should've seen it Nea!" He said out loudly, it almost came out as a shout. Mouth twisting into an amused smile and eyes red from tears, it was as if he couldn't decide which emotion he should have felt.

But later when there was no reply from his significant other, he turned around frowning. Not of sadness but of malcontent. "Nea?" He question, trying to search with his tear stung eyes. After all, usually Nea always woke up earlier than him.

Always ready, as if waiting for something to happen.

Like a tragedy would occur any second.

He sniffled, wiping his eyes with the hem of his shirt to clear his vision. After all, it was like diving into water without proper material and expect to see the sea floor with just the naked eye. You just can't.

So when he saw Nea curled into a ball, gasping and wheezing as if he was drowning. Allen reacted.

* * *

Allen remembered a long time ago, how long he couldn't put a finger on it. Heck, he didn't know if it ever happen or not, but cutting to the point. Okay, Allen thinks he remembered a long time ago, back then he had red hair and two working eyes, and a useless arm. Or was it, silver hair, two functioning eyes and two functioning arm.

He didn't know which, but what he did know it was at a time he was able to see out of two eyes. Children were forgetful after all.

This faintly reminded of him about that time.

Of staying in bed, sickly and useless but still won't acknowledge that. Refusing to simply resting even though that's what you actually needed, and the frustration of slowing everyone down.

It was almost like that except the fact that it wasn't him going through it.

There was blood though, lot's of blood. Allen wondered why do you bleed if you only have a simple fever. Mana know, but he won't tell Allen. The moment Mana stepped inside the room, all panicky and all, he'd kindly instructed him to bring a wet towel. And after all that, he'd only said it was a fever.

A damn fever. Like bloody hell he would trust that.

Nea head was effing bleeding, he was coughing up blood for duck sakes!

A simple fever won't do this, unless it's the plague. Allen hope it wasn't the plague.

But if Mana is not going to tell him, it's fine. This family is no stranger to secrets, no matter how close they were. Just like how some days, Mana isn't actually Mana, as if someone is simply to act as him. Allen could tell by how the stiffness of the movement and the forcement in his tone. But lately, the pretend-Mana is doing a good job.

There was once a day when he actually thought that he was Mana. Until there was a mess up in his cooking, no one actually ate mushroom here. Except fried mushrooms, simply delicious!

Well back to the point.

And Nea, some nights after nightmares. Nea would lie with a straight face, as if he wants to fool himself too and lately he does. But Allen would always buy their lies, they were family after all.

Even if some lies were so expensive, he still believe in them. They were the family who had always protected him, their lies serve as a purpose.

"It looks like you have to go to school by yourself Allen," Mana sigh, giving Nea a glare, as if daring him to oppose him. Eyes screaming: Don't you dare defy me!

"No. . .!" Nea cried in defiance, as if it was the end of the world. He shot up, causing the blanket to slide down. golden eyes wide of frantic.

"I'm healthy!"He shout up, voice cutting in midsentence as he went into a coughing spree.

Hearing that, Mana simply sigh shooking his head. He pointed a finger at Nea., who was try to ease his sour throat. "You sleep, I should be home in six hour,"

Allen frowned, head tilting to the side causing his white lock to fall on his shoulder. "Six hour?" The last time he heard, school was eight hour, why ask Mana come back home two hours early.

Mana chuckled darkly, mouth twisting into an eerie smile. You could just see the dark aura manifesting around him, almost pulsing into life. "I-" he begin but was immediately cut off by Allen the moment he said the dust aid

"On second thought, don't," Allen said, didn't even bother to want to know the answer.

"Let's go Mana," Allen continued, heading for the door.

"Allen," Nea cried out, hands reaching fit Allen but was pushed back down on the bed by Mana.

Allen shot him a glare. "And what?" He hissed, though there was no venom in it. "Let you germs infect me,"

He didn't stop yet, not when he's in a roll. He snapped his finger and wave it inlill front of Nea. "Nu-uh brother, as long as you still have that virus in your system, I'm not staying in a room with you for more than then minutes,"

"But-" Nea shot up, still being pinned down by Mana. And slowly, Mana released him, cause he yoo like

"Sleep. Bye!" Allen chirped before exiting through the door. Not wanting to stay in the room anymore.

"But-" Nea sigh, hearing the clook click as it closed. And with a swipe of his head, he glared at Mana.

"It's okay. . ." Mana said slowly, not caring the hated glare he was receiving nor the fact that he was already late for school. "I will protect our little Allen,"

He bended down, wiping a handful of midnight hair that crowned Nea. Pressing his lips on top of the bandage that he had earlier wrapped around Nea's forehead, prior the bleeding.

"As per our agreement," It was so soft, almost inaudible. It came as a whisper.

"Of course. . .Mana. . ." Nea too whispered, gripping his bed sheet tightly to make him forget of the pain.

* * *

Allen adjusted the strap of his bag that was slung over his shoulder. He observed the empty hallway, wondering wether or not he should come to school. Now that Nea was not here, he wondered for his safety.

But of course, students of this school won't do anything to him right? After all, he'd been studying here for almost six years and no issues. . .no big issues happened.

Sure there were a couple of transfers but that was about it.

Eyeing at the single door in front of him, Allen pondered. Maybe he should just turn back his heels and. . .

But before the thought could finish itself, Allen pushed the door open.

The teacher stopped midway from the black board, a book and a chalk in his hands. Allen could openly see the stack of papers on the desk, and with the report papers in his hand he gently set it on top of the pile. His gaze linger for a moment, before freezing at the papers besides the report. It's tittle screaming: _Quizzz!_

Well it didn't actually, just in his mind.

He turned his head to the teacher, who just finished writing and was clapping his hands to get rid of the remaining chalk on it. Then he glance at the students behind him, who hold the face of fear, uncertainty and reluctant. A student was even clamping his hands in a prayer.

Then he turned back to the teacher, hands on his hips as he stared at his writing. Then he turned back to the students, who looked like it was the end of the world. His gaze was lock for a brief moment with the girl at the far back, who unlike the other student simply looks like she'd been defeated.

And with a sad smile, she simply nodded. Confirming his fear; A surprise quizz.

"All right students. Allen go to your seat," A sudden voice boomed from behind him, sounding to happy even though he was causing the despair of the class.

"Take the paper also," Hearing that, Allen went back to the teacher desk and took a set of paper. Giving him a pleading glance to the teacher while he was at it, but somehow, the innocent glance was deflected by him.

Already knowing full well of Allen not so much innocent personality.

He grumbled under his breathe and went to his seat. Ignoring the obnoxious stare of his classmates. And along with the rest of the class, Allen started to answer.

1\. What is the main component of comets?

Ice and rocks right?

* * *

Allen hated a lot of things, like for an example:

Allen hated too crowded and noisy places, so he tended to avoid it.

Allen hated whisper and gossip behind his back.

Allen hated flamboyant people, who tend to draw attention towards their self.

Most of all, Allen hated stare. Starring in awe yes, but just plain starring that doesn't stop after one hour?

Yes, Allen hated it. Especially one with no reason apparent. Unlike most of the stares he had received in his life, it was quite easy to find the reason behind it wether it was in the form of disgust or pity.

By this time of point, Allen was quite determined he was being stalk. This was actually the first- second-t- No! Forth time he was stalk, the earlier three was handled easily by Mana, Nea and himself of people who wanted to kidnap and sell him, also pedophiles. This was a little town after all and it was also almost isolated by the world. Making it an ideal place for supplying items for the black market.

That's where Mana bought a rifle and Nea bought a flamethrower. And at that time it was a buy two and get one free sale so he himself, got a vile of poison, along with pack needles as a gift.

So yeah, this town was no stranger to illegal business. Human trafficking was already common, and drugs? They sell those at the pharmacy store.

Well back to the point.

So somehow to eased his paranoid thoughts, Allen sung. Not loudly of course but mentally. Letting the voice of an energetic child fill his mind.

"Come on _vamanos,_ everybody let's go,"

"Come on let's get to it, I know that we can do it!"

It was fine the first ten minutes when he returned back to class after recess. But know, he can't get the damn song out of his head. Who knew Dora could be addicting.

"Where are we going?" Clap! Clap! Clap!

"To last period!"

Allen gritted his teeth as he tried to focus at every sound except Dora's singing in his head. His next table neighbors looks at him worriedly, as if they were concern if he was sick. They were the one who often carried him to the infirmary in most classes without Neah, as they share the same class everyday and somehow, without Neah, Allen's wellbeing became their responsibility.

It was a pity though, that they were not close enough to be friends. As Nea was cold to everyone except Allen, and since they were mostly inseparable so did Allen. Everyone was afraid of Neah, and sometimes he himself does.

There was a foreboding insanity in him, building up against in him. Pressuring. . .

"If there is a place you need to go."

No. Please no.

I thought I stopped it. . .

"I'm the one you need to know,"

Allen punched the table, and uses his other hand to rub his temple. Now did he regret seeing all those children show when he was younger.

"I'm the map, I'm the map. I'm the map, I'm the map,"

Slowly relaxing, Allen finally gave up and let all the bloody songs to flood his mind.

* * *

Allen felt like crying, he really wanted to cry well, until he realized how pathetic the reason was. School was already over, and he was still hearing songs in his head. And you know what's worse then hearing songs in your head? It's the fact that all of them are children songs.

Bloody children songs. And it won't stop!

"Wonder Pets! Wonder Pets! We're on our way!"

"To help a baby [animal] and save the day!"

Remind him again, that he doesn't want to have any kind of pets.

"We're not to big! And we're not to tough!"

"But when we've work together we got the right stuff!"

But even by filling his head with cheesy children song, it still couldn't diminished the feeling of the blatant stare he was receiving. It didn't stop, not even when he entered the classroom last and sat back to his seat, or when he went to a secluded area so he could meet one to one to the person who been observing him.

This stare did not came from a single person. He found out after he went to the bathroom and instead stay outside at the hallway, seeing if someone was observing him in the shadow.

The stare was still there, but there were a dozen of kids in the hallway as they were changing class to the next subject. Buf he couldn't pinpoint it so he went back inside, and then he felt the same prickly sensation when someone was staring at you too hard.

So now, he decided the the stares did not come from a single organism but rather a group. But who and why?

Allen really wanted to know and hopefully could solve it without his brother help.

* * *

 **Part 1**


	9. Chapter 8: Whatever

Allen gripped the strap of his bag tightly, his heart was pounding loudly against his ribcage and yet, kept a steady beat. He bit his lower lips, hoping that the pain would distract his mind, but underneath his calm exterior, underneath there was fear.

Not fear, but paranoid.

To be honest, one would also be paranoid if people kept starring at you for more than seven hours. Non stop, not to mention. And why people? It was quite obvious it wasn't an individual person.

Painfully obvious.

Allen stopped wondering after the fourth hour and the second round of Dora the Explora.

So know, it was almost painfully awkward to walk back home. It actually hurt, as if their stare was able to actually bore a hole through his skull.

Sleep deprivation and hunger further fueled his paranoia, and not to mention Allen was usually skittish. So yeah, going back home was almost painfully awkward, it didn't become physical. Not yet at least.

Well Allen doesn't hope it will become physical, cause you know. . .he doesn't enjoy being inflicted by pain.

But the one inflicting it. . .sometimes no and sometimes yes.

And if the person that's been observing him for the past seven hour doesn't stop in the next ten minutes, the answer is yes. So yeah, let the pain commence.

He looked down, starring at his wrist warch. The second hland moving clockwise around the numbers, the long hand pointing at the Roman Numeral _ix_ while thr shorter hand pointing at the Roman Numeral _vi._

 **6:30:17**

Just another 9 minutes and 43 seconds.

A short 9 minutes.

Allen gripped the strap of his back tightly, half of his attention on the pavement before him and the other half on the time.

Hahaha. His mind was already plotting what he would do once the time was up-

"Allen!" A familiar voice called him, and simultaneously the prickly stares diminished.

Allen's hand slumped to his side, feeling actually disappointed. He turned around, feet turning and - face falling forward.

He tripped and fell.

Instinctly, his hands stretched out. Palm spread on the ground to stop himself from falling and pushed himself back upwards, all whilst moving forward. But unfortunately, he collided into someone, and that someone was the one who called him earlier: Mana.

"Allen," Mana gasped, pulling Allen's arm before he could fall to his back.

Which he could only reply by an embarrassed laugh as Mana set him back on the ground. But then, he frowned, noticing the casual clothes Mana was wearing.

"Where's you school uniform?" Allen ask, pointing out the plain obvious.

"Oh, I finished school early today," Mana deadpan, answering Allen's question with all seriousness.

Allen recalled faintly earlier this morning, when Mana had said he was coming home in six hour. . .yeah. . he didn't want to know the details.

"How's Nea?" Allen instead ask the current state of his other brother.

Mana frowned at that, looking as if he was in deep thought until finally settling in a sigh. "The usual,"

"The usual?"

* * *

As soon as Allen got home, he instantly excused himself to his room and took a shower. A cold shower to say the least as the wether, to him, was already hot. Not to mention he was wearing long sleeves to begin with.

And now that he was in the safety confront of his home, he decided to wore a simple shorts and a grey t-shirt. After all, it's not like he was going outside anyway and it have been five years since the last visitors.

He bended down, picking his school uniform that was thrown into the floor. Courtesy of him, hurrying to take a shower as it was too hot.

Allen laid the clothes on his bed, then he bended down again to grab his pants. While unblucking his belt, he noticed a slight bump into his pocket. He reached out for the object, pulling a metal chain tied to a gem.

He recalled yesterday's yesterday event, when he had abruptly shoved the necklace into his pocket and somehow forget it existence ever since. Findling with it in his hands, he couldn't help himself admiring it.

Mana's birthday is coming soon, maybe he could use this as prop.

He turned the necklace to the back, fingers tracing over the soft outline. As if it was a writing. "Maria, huh?"

"Allen!" Someone yelled, accompanying by abruptly lunging at him from behind.

Allen was simply helpless when the sudden weight on his back completely changed his center of gravity and made him to fall forward.

"Nea!" He said in exasperation. "Get off me," He tried to shake his older brother, but to no avail he was strenuously pinned.

"No! This is your punishment for abandon me!" Nea cried, a bit too loudly for a sick person and a bit too loudly before his doom. Allen could not wait to turn his smile upside down.

"Nea!" Allen cried out exasperately, trying to shake Nea off as his finale attempt. "If you don-"

"What's that Allen?" Nea suddenly ask instead, cutting Allen's sentence short. He sounded curious, but the voice was dry.

"A necklace I found!" Allen answered, turning his head to see a glimpse of Nea's face. Just for a second, he could see Nea's face contorting into a look of. . .it's gone. "What's wrong? Do you still feel sick Nea?" Allen ask, fearing that Nea was still sick or hurt.

"Nothing. . .just still a bit tired. . ." Nea breathed, and he finally let go Allen out of his hold.

Allen stood up and dusted, after all, he'd just taken a bath, it's too early to be dirty. Then, he crossed his arm over his chest and glared at Nea. "Then next time don't pull stuff like that,"

"I'm hungry, wonder what manas cooking for dinner, I'll check first," Nea said instead, trailing off to the door. What a way to avoid a lecture! Surely he learned from the best.

.

The End

.

* * *

Omaeke

Dinner was somehow awkward to the, mostly by Nea as he wanted to eat dinner without someone plotting his death. To be honest, he didn't remember Allen having this kind of personality.

After all, Allen is kind, honest-

"Nea, you should eat instead of playing with your food. . .and is that a sculpture of Allen's head?"

"Eat it Nea!" Allen hissed, grabbing Nea's hand and plunge it at the potato.

"No!" Nea cried out.

* * *

 **I would probably update the next chapter on three days or so, I'll have my fourth exam next Tuesday so maybe I'll update it on a Monday or a Thursday. I've been thinking of making a Neallen fic (again) but I'll need to finish one of my stories first so I'm planning to quickly update, Don't Stop; it's our duet. And for those who are wondering why I never update The Virtue of Insanity, the answer is I did, since the psychologist says I have to remake it or edit it. LOL, they came in a team of four last Wednesday and like my therapist was like y u no update and I was like I no computer. So yeah, I've neen editing it from the first chapter but it's long so I use my father's laptop for it.**

 **Gosh, the authors note was so long. And one more thing, the following chapter will include children's song, some adele and a whole lot of anime mvp, opening and songs so stay in tune. Good bye and thanks for reading.**


	10. Chapter 9: Dreams or Nightmares

A child. . .

 _Children?_

They were precious, like glinting crystals and freshly fallen snow.

And just like how in any children's book,

A tragedy broke them apart.

* * *

Allen woke up and even though he had just been conscious, his mind was already racing, clear, as if he had been doing maths problem instead of sleeping beforehand. The ceiling greeted him with all it's whiteness, looming ignominious above him like a grey cloud, rolling underneath the surface. It dripped down thickly at the side of the wall.

Allen closed his eyes, afraid that is he opened any longer, it would fall on him. And slowly, he waited until his mind died out, the throbbing that makes everything spin to come at a stop. And yet, he couldn' t fell back sleep, far from tired.

Sighing, he turned to the side and came face to face with his older twin. Neah was asleep, soft breathing and the silent flutter of his eyes, it was quite obvious so. So now, wide awake and while his only companion was currently sleeping, he did the only thing he can.

Allen turned 180 degrees to his right, and with grace and agility of a child, he slid from his bed. The floor conspiracied over him and just for a moment, it seemed to go back before going to it's usual place. He placed his foot after the other carefully, as the floor is spinning and bubbling like boiling water, it was like walking on lava. And quitely, he tip toed (in this case) making sure not to make much noise as he exited the room.

His midnight adventure had been pretty fun, with dark and empty hallways, the silent scrapping of house parasites and of course the inviting, empty rooms.

The house already stopped rocking the moment there was a chilling scrape from behind. It seems, not only he was that one afraid.

But he'd expected this much from his home, but honestly it needed a bit more flare to make it scarier. Maybe like. . .Mana over there for instance, his golden eyes visibly glowing even from the other end of the hallway as he entered the living room. His feet making damp suction noises against the marble floor as if he'd come back from a swamp.

It looks like he wasn't the only one who went for a midnight adventure!

Upon seeing the figure of his youngest sibling, Mana stopped in his track. And instead, choose to stare at Allen, eyes widen in surprise as if he was currently disbelieving what he was seeing. As if Allen was the one who just came back home at 2 in the morning. "Why aren't you in bed?" Mana ask, though if he was angry Allen didn't know, maybe he was just curious.

And no, Allen was not surprised.

"Ummm. . .uh I. . .ah can't sleep!" Allen answered hesitantly. Shifting his feet as he starred at the ground, more like glaring. Still upset that it conspired over him earlier.

Hearing that, Mana simply sigh, walking towards Allen and taking him by his hands where he lead them to the kitchen. Upon arriving, he raised Allen up and put him in the kitchen counter so at least, they were almost the same height. Allen was way up now, his feet dangling in the air.

And Allen finally glanced up, his feet no longer seem to interest him. Instead, he focussed on Mana, still taller than him even though he was way up. Mana was worried, Allen could tell by how his eyebrows were scrunched together and how his eyes hold so much emotion that he could not compare.

His not-so-much-working mind seem to ignore that fact that Mana's pants was wet, the thought of him coming back from a swamp was closer to reality than he thinks.

But the problem was, this town have no swamps, no lake but there is a swimming pool. Unless Mana decided to have a midnight swim and Allen doubt it would open at this hour.

So rain, it was starting to rain heavily when he first slept. . .actually why he didn't think of that sooner rather than the swamp and pool.

"You can't sleep?" Mana ask, and he couldn't help himself but worry. If Allen had insomnia at such a young age. . .

Allen bit his lower lips and he glanced down to ignore Mana's stare, cheek tinted with a pink hue though thanks to the shadow that was casted over his face, was unseenable. He starred at his feet, it suddenly look so interesting but knowing Mana, he won't stop until he gets the answer.

"Nightmares. . ." Allen mumbled just above a whisper, barely audible enough to be heard. Wether it was a dream or a nightmare, he didn't know. It had been a long time since he was able to discern between those two. Either way, it was simply a product of his mind.

But is he were to comment, rather than a nightmare, it was simply a story that took a bad end.

A tragedy.

"Oh," Mana said in surprise, but still couldn't help but smile.

He remember back in his sweet younger years, where the three of them could fit together into a single bed. And almost every night, one of them would always get a nightmare. Him being the oldest, would always calm them down.

He too also got nightmares back then. . .But _when_ did it stop?. . .And why again. . .did he went outsid-

"Mana!" Allen called, pulling Mana from his trance, his silver eyes wide in desperation and horror. "I'm scared of the nightmares Mana" He said solemnly.

The said teenager cleared away his previous thought, letting his full attention on Allen. "Why not tell me what's your nightmares about? I'll listen to them," It was like the repeating of time, he could not help himself but yearn.

Allen was silent, thinking wether he should or should not discuss it with Mana. A part of him answered yes, wanting to lift some of the burden of his chest while the other answered no, simply embarrassed about the nightmare. He was a twelve year old, of a male species at that. He should man up. . .

But this has been going for far too long.

"The nightmares. . ." Allen begins, choosing the next words carefully. Afraid that if he chooses wrong it would convey the wrong message then he intended.

"Was always about the same thing,"

The older teenager smiled gently, his hand reaching out to gently stroke the other white locks. It's been a long time since he did this, time had passed and he'd gotten older and so did them. They became so independent, his little brothers are, it broke his heart.

A soft smile burrowed onto his mouth seeing as Allen was scared, he could tell by the way his eyes seemed to quiver ever so slightly and how his mouth was twitching, sometimes up and sometimes down. And how his voice wavered, as if he would start crying at any second.

Either way, this was the side of them that he miss.

"Please tell," Mana said, taking a seat at the opposite of Allen. So that they were close enough but still far enough to breathe. He clutched Allen's left hand in reassurance. Such a small and delicate hand, it was like holding a glass.

With too much pressure it will shatter.

"A child," Allen begins, as if he was beginning a horror story instead of a twisted dream. But really, how much difference are there?

"It always started with a child. . ."

Allen clutched Mana's hand tightly, as if he was afraid to let go. Allen is afraid, Mana could tell. Such a scarce emotion, he would drink it.

But. . .Allen was starring at him with eyes wide of horror, as if he was not afraid of the dream but of him. Mana gripped the child's hand gently, holding it as if he was holding a shard of glass.

Delicate and easy to break under pressure.

Yet strong enough to injure.

"And ended with winds. . ." The words left Allen mouth, spoken so swiftly, so lightly.

Like a feather.

* * *

A gentle smile danced on his lips as he starred at the sleeping child. . .or children in that matter. And quitely, he closed the door, making sure It would not make any noise that can cause any of them to be awake. He didn't know what to do if either one of them suddenly woke, it would surely be a catastrophe.

Even more so if it Neah was the one who woke.

Smilling fondly as he walked to his room, Mana took account at what Allen had told him earlier. The poor child fell unconscious as soon as the last words left his mouth, luckily he had been there to catch him. Clearly Allen was forcing himself to be awake, but he didn't look so tired at the beginning.

And there was something that was getting under his skin, the reoccurring dreams that Allen seems to have. . .was the same one he used to have back then.

When they were small enough to fit in the same bed, when he was the one who calmed them down if one of them for a nightmare.

It was the same, though slightly changed details.

He couldn't help but feel worried though, maybe Allen should go see a therapist? Wait - No, he would not allow that.

Allen trusted him and he should live on to that faith.

He was sure Allen would be fine as he gets older, although it was a pain to see him mature as he age. But with time, he would outgrow his nightmares until it was only a faint memories.

Mana doubted that.

And with a tired sigh, he twisted the doorknob and pushed the door to his room. Trying to catch up to his sleep that he had left.

* * *

 **So I just finished my exam today. . .And now, I give you this piece of. . .of writing. Sorry if I made any mistakes, cause you know, English is no first language of mine.**

 **Oh, one more thing, would you guys agree if I make OCD!Tyki cause you know. Tyki.** **Review if you agree or not, I would just make it the same old, creepy Tyki and it never gets old.**

With outmost love,

Mana


	11. Important!

Hi there~ This is Mana. As you can see, I change my username to Campbell instead of Cannibal. I just want to take the liberty to apologize. My English is very awkward, I forgot words often so I actually have to change the whole paragraph that's why some appears longer then usual. I also keep mistaking(?) Neah's name to Nea so sorry for those who notice.

And about my updates, school for me is the afternoon session so I go 11:30 a.m. to 7:30 a.m. and on days where there is extra curriculum it starts at 7:30 so twelve hour and school. To make things worst, we are forbidden to bring any gadgets except for calculator. (Extra curriculum is only three times a week)

So my update is going to be random, but I try to do it twice or thrice a week.

Being a fourteen year old is already hard, especially when you took another extra curriculum. Take it or leave it, I take piano and Taekwando, volleyball, English club. We used to have Japanese as our extra class but none bothered to even come.

Meh, this is my school.

I changed my name to Mana? Hmmmm. . .school is hard, and I have bad memories. Sometimes things that happen yesterday feel like it happen a week ago and stuff that happen last month feel like it was yesterday. So, it's a nightmare, I always forgot about homework and what we learned.

Hahaha.

Still at the top though.

I can relate to Mana very much, his behavior, his mentality. It's almost the same as mine.

Now, if you have questions, PM or review me. Especially those who are wondering about the fried mushroom recipe.


	12. Chapter 10: Glue and Bread

"I'm sorry. . .but I have to go now. . .I can't stay here any longer than this. . .".

Silence. The other was waiting.

"But please. . .please give this child your outmost love," That was the first time he heard the other beg as it was the first time he saw the other fall.

And honestly, he was surprised.

"For the love that I failed to give him. . ."

Silence, but this time it was the end. He nodded, fully understanding the request.

"I understand."

And he collapse.

The promise was kept. After all, they had promised each other this a long time ago.

.

.

.

Allen woke up, not of the sound of blaring alarm clocks nor the sound of the songs of the birds, or more rarely, simply woke up. No! He woke up in a more annoying manner, with his body being pressed against the matress and the suffocating of his lung.

Allen glared at the culprit, his tolerance for bullshit already so low at the first thing in the morning. Neah simply smiled slyly, not even thinking of releasing his weight over Allen. Allen tried everything, from pleading to throwing but it seem that Neah was the stronger of the two.

"I hate you!" Allen hissed, hoping that it would get Neah off guard.

And is which, Neah replied. "Stop lying to yourself Allen, I _know you love me-"_

"Get off of me, Neah-fucking-Campbell!" Allen bellowed in time before Neah could start the song. It was the first thing in the morning, he didn't want to experience a Justin Beiber song.

Neah was silent for a while, a thoughtful look crossed his mind. But his hold on Allen didn't even lessen. "I would do that," He said after a short while, smiling mischievously now.

"Mana!" Allen screamed/called, in order to protect his chastity.

And boy was Mana confused that morning.

.

.

.

The walk to school was overwhelming, full of dreaded silence and suffocating pressure. Neah tried to approach Allen, hoping that he could make up with his twin. Mana had forsaken him a couple of roads ago as he had to parted his way.

He frowned slightly, watching Allen's back as he walked intront of him. It seem that Allen doesn't even want to walk together.

He racked his brain for any sort of way to sort this conflict. . .but to be honest, he didn't see any wrong in his act. So why was Allen so angry. . .

There! At the corner of his vision.

Neah grabbed Allen's hand and pulled him even, much to the other's disagreement. The stall owner simply starred in surprise and. . .a little bit frightened seeing the two children made their way to his stall. He seemed to quiver at Neah's grin and cruel golden eyes and he seemed to sunken when he saw the glare he was receiving from Allen.

For a moment, he seem to want to abandon his stall right there right now. If only fear didn't tied him down to the ground.

"How much is it for one pau?" Neah ask, linking his arm with Allen so that he can't escape.

"Fi-fifty cents!" The stall owner stuttered.

"Hmmm. . ." Neah hummed and slowly glanced at Allen, also slightly nudging his shoulder to get the other's attention.

After a while, Allen sigh glaring at Neah but glancing at the type of the paus inside the steam cooker. He crossed one of his arm over his chest, as the other was still linked with Neah's arm. "One red bean, one coconut and two chocolates," The other time was of boredom, as if he didn't want to be here at all.

Which is understandable.

It took the stall keeper three full seconds to respond to that order, his hand hesitantly made way to the plastic bag. And he took the paus one by one from it rows, making sure not to burn his hands while he was at it. After that, he handed it to them, arms shaking slightly as he handed the three plastic bags.

Neah took the plastic bags while handing two dollars at the man the same time, after he and Allen said their thanks, they returned back to their walk to school. Already missing the first bell.

It was not like they were ever early in the first place.

Neah made impossible so, as he hated the school's system for separating him and Allen.

As the were at the school's gate, Neah handed Allen the plastic bag. Smiling in which Allen simply glared at, but netherlass Allen took it. Allen was always a sucker for food.

"Fine. . ." Allen finally sigh, he look at Neah with none hateful eyes for the first time. "I'll let this go,"

Neah beamed, almost jumping from his spot when he heard that. In which he didn't, he still have some pride left from his deflated ego.

"Now. . ." Allen continued, tugging his left arm. "Can you let it go?"

Neah, who still smiling, simply answered happily. "No!"

Believe it or not, he didn't.

And for the first time in history, they were _inseparable._

.

.

.

Omaeke

"Neah. . .you can release my hand _now._ . ." Allen said, worried sipping through his tone.

"Uhhh. . ."Neah chuckled nervously and somehow that was a sentence.

"You didn't-" Allen tugged his left hand, only to find it being stuck with Neah's right. "You did!" Allen shouted.

"What's wrong?" Mana called from rhe other end of the hallway, worried thag his little brothers will get into another fight.

"Nothing!" Neah said, clamping Allen's mouth so he can't reply to Mana. "Just a. . .sticky situation!"

He heard Mana's reply faintly and when he was sure that Mana won't come to check on them, he released Allen. Ignoring the death glare he was receiving from Allen and with a pleading voice, he said. "I can fix it,"

"No you can't!" Allen replied harshly.

After half an hour, Mana came and he wondered why his little brothers thought that glue can be melted by fire.

They have a severe fire fetish for sure.

* * *

 **This is just for laugh, the previous chapter seemed to be a bit serious for my taste. Sorry if I made any mistakes, I just woken up since I fell asleep after my Taekwando class. But, I'm curious what traditional food you lots have, mine sure have tons.**

Please review, wether it is a criticism or you want to say something just review it. I have always like reading reviews.

Bye, with love.

Mana


	13. Chapter 11: Beloved dearest (P1)

"The destroyer who saves?" His golden eyes flashes in amusement as he said that.

"That would be me, right?" He ask, head tilted ever so slightly to feign innocence he didn't have.

One of the others simply nodded, used to his friends antics. "The Martyr?" He ask loudly.

Another raised his hands, scarily similar to the one who asked except a bit taller. "I'll do it," He said boredly.

"You'll be The Catalyst right?" He ask again, pointing at the other across him. Midnight hair tied into a low ponytail.

"Yes!" He answered cheerfully.

"What about you?" They ask, or they seem to be asking.

"Me?" He said in a mocking manner, putting a hand on his heart while the other was stretched. "Who else would I be aside from The King?"

"I'll be The King of Fakes!" He said dramatically and bend down as if he was bowing to an audience.

"Well you're fake alright," One of them commented sarcastically.

He frowned, not of displease but just for the sake of frowning. "I act based on my mask," He said.

"Well what mask are you wearing now?" One of them ask, the one with the midnight hair.

He smiled, a true smile. "A friend. A brother."

They were so loyal to their roles, it went beyond acting.

.

.

.

Allen woke up, feeling the sudden urge to watch Theater. Neah frowned at Allen, already clothes and ready for school. It was unusual for Allen to wake up early and usually, he was the one who have to wake Allen up.

"The Destroyer," Allen pointed out.

And Neah froze, wondering if he'd heard right. After all, Allen shouldn't remember this fast. He had promise that.

"You were in my dream," Allen said, still looking a bit daze to start working properly. "And you were like, I'm the destroyer who saves," Allen laugh, a laugh full of innocent humor.

Hahaha. It's causing Neah into a state of panic but he masked it under curiosity.

"Oh, really?" Was his awkward reply. He still can't help but feel worried, cause if Allen remembers, it would brake him and shatter him to pieces.

"Mana was there too." Allen pointed out, swaying from his sitting position, like the swaying of golden wheats.

Left and right, left and right-

Neah's brain was racking left and right for outcome problems. Does he look worried? Does Allen noticed his worriedness?

"He played the role The Catalyst." Allen continued, saying it so casually.

Neah tried to react normally like he usually does, but all he could think was Allen is starting to remember. Allen is starting to remember! Allen is fucking remembering!

"There's someone else to, a ginger with his hair tied into a ponytail-" Neah internally screamed, hearing the accurate description. "He played the role of The Martyr. . .which doesn't suite him much. . ." Allen mumbled the last part, and he was silent.

A thoughtful look on his face, it was as if he would remember everything any second now. "What about you Allen? Did you also played a part?" Honestly, he was so desperate now.

If Allen remember now, he would be so broken.

And this Allen was already starting to shatter

"Ah, yes," Allen answered, not noticing Neah's intrrnal struggle. "The King of Fakes."

Neah need chocolate, he was feeling so stressed right now.

But Allen was not finished yet, he still need to crush Neah's moral. "It was the best!" Allen said while stretching his arms. "I didn't get any nightmares this time! A good night sleep finally. . ." Allen sigh, a bright smile on his face that doesn't look forced.

Neah bit the inside of his cheek, brain buzzing and conscious battling. Nightmares are also the product of suppressed memories. . .

Allen look so happy without nightmares. Should he or should he not. . .

He stopped thinking, wanting to choose in a clear mind which the curent state of his is far from it. He still have until midnight by most.

.

.

.

Neah did not get his chocolate, but instead, his daily dose of caffeine. Which is. . .quite the same actually

His mind however. . .was far from orderly and yet a well maintained Chaos. His thoughts was flying around, and it seems, his mind was having a debate without his consent.

"Neah, stop that." Allen said from besides him.

Neah turned to Allen and frowned, "What?"

And when Allen didn't gave him an answer he returned back to his thoughts. Only for Allen to pull him back from reality again. "That," Allen answered, "Stop thinking, you made bad decisions when you think,"

And indeed he stopped thinking cause things get complicated when he thinks. Maybe he should solve it back at home.

"Come on, Allen!" Neah said suddenly and dragged Allen by the arm. "We're already late." He said.

Allen smirked and his eyes out in amusement. "Since when do you care about late?" Allen ask and hidden underneath the layer of sarcasm was indeed curiosity.

"Since now!" Neah replied, shooting Allen a glare that clearly said: 'I can be mature if I want to'

Allen laugh and he fasten his pace so Neah didn't actually have to drag him.

.

.

.

Neah didn't know what actually happen today, time passed with a blur of fading vision. And nothing eventful actually happen today besides. . .what happened at the morning.

Now, all he could think was how fast Allen's soul seem to recovering the past and how screwed he was for not making a plan.

He did have one in fact. . .but the condition has to be met.

Neah laid at his side of the bed, trying hard to sleep but failing. If only sleep come as easy to him as easy it was to Allen. If only nightmare didn't plague him and somehow, it was all his fault.

But in the end it was to save him.

What would happen if he remembered all his life will surely be disastrous.

His hand reached out at Allen, this was the first time he wasn't whimpering as this was the second night he slept without nightmares. He traced the outlines of Allen's scar, the reversed pentagram and wondered, which memory was he seeing currently? Maybe he should take a peek-

A shift of energy. Neah gasped and retracted his hand back, the energy was overwhelming and yet at the same time suppressed. It was old magic. . .one that he recognized so well, One that he was used to.

And without any sound, he slid from the bed and made his way to the door. He casted a worried glance at Allen, before finally closing the door to their room.

Neah walked through the barren hallway, tracing a finger over the white walls. It was dark as there was no light, people were usually asleep at this time so there's no use for light at this hour. His destination was not far actually, just a ten meters away from his room.

And so as he reached it, he snapped the door open, making it almost falling from it's hinge. The occupant of the room simply starred at him in amusement.

"You! You liar!" Honestly, he was bad at insulting people. Especially if the person looks like his dearest Mana.

The figure tilted his head, in slight confusion. "What do you mean?" He question, not understanding what Neah was accusing him of.

"Our agreement." Neah shot back, calming himself down. And he took a step forward to the figure, clearly worried. "Why is Allen remembering?"

The other simply sigh, looking at Neah with such earnesty, it was as if a father was looking at his child. "I'm sorry, but my magic can't interfere with the human soul so much,"

Neah shot him a troubled look. "You resurrect people! This is simply memory suppressing!" He hissed quietly and quickly.

Adam simply gave Neah a starre, he put out a finger and tsk. "Resurrection is simply interfering with the soul cycle, memory suppression is affecting the soul itself. . .Besides, that's not where my specialty lies!" The last statement was true, he had lived long enough to know all kinds of magic, but it doesn't mean he'd mastered all of them. "That lies to the one we want to suppress."

Which is ironic really, if you think about it.

"It's too early!" Neah replied back almost immediately, not missing a single beat. "Why is it early?"

Adam smiled at Neah, as if he was hearing the questions of a child. "Maybe because we are so close this time. Allen's soul is reacting to us. . ." He simply answered as if it were just a chemistry question.

And so he smirked, shifting his position at the edge of the bed so he was facing Neah. "It's inevitable," He said.

"What if. . .What if I erase his memory? What if I destroy it?" Neah ask hesitantly, the tone of his voice sounding as if he was pleading

Adam sigh and shook his head slightly, causing the locks of hair that covers the front of his head to sway. "And what, Disturb the components of the soul?" He ask sarcastically. "I'm sorry Neah but memories is what makes a soul, if we disturb a part of it, it will react like cancer and spread throughout the body until the soul finally break."

And shatters.

Like broken glass gleaming like diamonds.

And all the stars above!

And before Neah could say anything, he still continued. "And not the usual break, but this breaking cause the soul to be haywired and it depends for people to people. They might experience an out of the body experience but Allen's soul is so complicated!"

Neah was silence, he was thinking and choosing his next move. He had seen Allen remembered before, in another life, and that broke him. It corroded him and it was death that save him and it was himself that was thanked.

He had choose and what a selfish person he was.

Neah eyes shone against the darkness of the room, his eyes pleading but what was it pleading for?

Innocence? Salvation? Redemption?

Or all of the above and maybe more.

"Our agreement, will you still hold to it?" Neah ask, and Adam couldn't help but wonder if Neah has made a plan. Probably yes since Neah used to be a strategic person, and still is.

"I never turn against my words." He smiled, he'd never made empty promises. "And I expect you to also hold yours."

"Then, I don't care how. But please save Allen without disrupting his soul," Neah pleaded and his gaze was breaking, eyes wide and feral now. "I can't let him remember at such a young age, his still-developing mind won't handle it."

"We can't let him remember, not yet. Not when he's still weak and fragile. I'm afraid Allen would shatter if he remembered now, and even then, he is already starting to break,"

The other chuckled, seemingly amused and he stood up from the bed. "So this is you way of saving, huh?" He ask, through serious or not it was hard to tell.

Neah was silent, this was his only way of saving.

After all, he was _Destruction._

"Well then, aren't you going to lead me to our dearest Allen. In fact, I'll try to stop his nightmares and even create a sweet dream for him." The other was smiling now, he was always smiling, but one could notice the warmth underneath it.

And he was _Creation._

The First and The Last.

.

.

.

Adam step closer to the sleeping child, eyes gazing the from of resting limbs. He placed his hand on top of Allen's forehead as he leans closer. "I'm sorry my child," He had spoken so quietly, it was barely audible. "But you, I can't let you remember so. . don't think ill of me."

After all, ignorance is a bliss.

And it's best if Allen never knows.

And he murmured spells under his breath of a language so old, he was the only one left speaking it.

A trail of blood, gently flow from the bottom of the scar. The one that his other counterpart have given to this child a long time ago. And now, the door that let him see the truth is now a lock, that seal it away.

Allen's existence is utterly and pathetically ironic.

But true enough, it's not only Allen's existence has a twisted sense of humor. He could list names of people who have that, starting from the word A and ending it with M.

Allen squirmed from under his touch and he casted another spell, One that would give him pleasant dreams of dry winds and golden sunset, of blooming hydrangeas and the leaves of autumn and of dead trees and a field of gold.

And he extracted the part of the demented cries of a child and the mournful lost of a friend.

It was a dream, not a nightmare.

"Sweet dreams. . ." He muttered before placing a gently kiss onto the child forehead. He was precious, a beloved piece on the board.

The King.

.

 **Part 1**

.

 **Part two will be coming shortly when I decided to work on it and sorry for the late update. I had school trouble and a massive case of diarrhea.**

 **But feel free to ask me any question and I'm sure you're able to put the pieces together. Again. Sorry if I made any mistakes and I think I should do the disclaimer thing :I do not own and under no situation does the character belong to me. This plot is entirely mine and not based on what happen the exists outside this story.**

Please review!

With out most love,

Mana


	14. Chapter 12: Dearest child of mine (P2)

"Why don't you join?" He had ask to the person who has flowing midnight hair and the universe in his eyes.

The other didn't react but simply smiled sadly at him, One that doesn't suit him at all. "I'm afraid, that my body can't keep up with them." He answered.

Looking at the other two with adoration and yearning in his eyes to the point it became frustrating.

"Besides. . .I find it more exhilarating watching them from here." He continued, a gust of wind flew from the south making his midnight locks to flow to the right.

They were facing the west after all, where the sun is just starting to set.

He frowned, clearly dissatisfied that he wasn't able to pull his friend to join but in the end, he simply sigh in relief. With a bump, he slumped against the old bark of Cornelia. Cries of laughter and shouts outdone the sound of nature surrounding them.

"Hahaha," He heard his friend chuckle besides him, like wind chimes and he followed his line of sights.

Boom!

The sound of explosions along with the cry of wondering what's wrong was the reason his friend decided to finally interfere, he stood up and dusted himself. Golden eyes observing the golden field with mild amusement.

"Guess I should stop them from destroying our land," He said.

A pang of sympathy found his way to his heart for those who will suffer the other end of Mana's hand. Just a pang though, most was just cruel humour.

"Take it easy on them." He ask, almost chuckling when he said that.

The other glance back at him, smirking with a knowing look. "I'll try."

And he watch the scene unfold, as his friend stalked the two troublemakers quitely. And as he neared the destination, he outstretched his arms.

And lighting flew.

He whistled upon the sight, fully amazed by the spectacle. "You have a lot of energy, my friend."

And somehow, it was more exhilarating watching from the sides.

Though it was far more fun being in it.

He stood up abruptly and sprinted to keep up with them, the three of them chuckled as they ran towards the door. And with a lound click, the door shut close.

"Mana, please! Open the door!" He pleaded miserably from the outside.

"Or I'll destroy it!" He threatened, they were not the only one with magic.

.

.

.

A satisfied smile inched onto his face, eyes closed and breathing even. He did not want to wake from this pleasant dream.

.

"Sweet dream. . ." Someone had said, someone that had existed since a long time ago.

.

.

.

"Now that Allen is settled. . ." Neah drawled out, eyes glaring and arms crossed over his chest. It was kind of alarming how fast Neah mood could change.

Just minutes ago he was begging to stop Allen from remembering and now he looks like he was ready to crush the other skull into pieces.

Which won't happen since it was technically Mana's head.

"Why did you surface?" Neah ask and you could imagine how friendly his tone was.

"Why can't I?" He was messing around. . .cause it was fun to mess with Neah. You know, unless he was killing your family member one by one. . .Yeah, he was still not quite over that.

"Cause you promise not to harm any of them." Neah pointed out.

"Mana, like Allen, is also starting to remember and unless I interfere like this. . .you know what will happen right?"

Neah was silent for a while, his face revealed that he was recalling a distant nightmare. "But it's your memory. . .You can stop it."

Adam shook his head sadly, a hand was put over his chest as he referred to himself. "It's complicated. I am simply Mana's Noah where I could take over in time of weakness. Just like what happen to another child of mine. . ."

An image flash through Neah, of the almost destruction of his ark.

"But you on the other hand. . ." The anomaly, "are already the Noah of Destruction so no one will take over."

The one who should never existed in the first place.

"But still. . ." Neah sounded so desperate, it was heartbreaking.

"Mana is remembering his previous life, just like Allen but. . .his are more painful for the soul to bear," Adam grimance and tried hard not to cringe. Mana's memory is so distorted and disjointed, they he actually have to add bits of his own to mend.

"Because of you!" Neah retorted.

"Well who was it that failed to kill the entire family?" Adam replied just as sarcastically.

Silence draped over them as if someone had close the curtain. Neah glared at Adam, who was wearing the skin of Mana and he was already planning ways to destroy him but it mostly involves hurting Mana's body. So he stopped from his homicidal thoughts.

"Well know that everything is settled!" The Patriarch exclaimed and tipped his head that suddenly appeared in the air. "We should do business, I have so much clients!"

Neah shoulder went slacked by his side, and he followed Adam as he opened his own gate to the destination. "Come on, Fourteenth!" He linked hands with Neah and no matter how much he wanted, he couldn't bring himself to brush the other arm off.

"We are going to be so busy tonight!" They run through the rooms and empty hallway, avoiding akumas that attended the Ark like matrix.

Neah frowned, trying to keep with The Earl's pace. As they ran, Adam clothes changed into something more befitting of an Earl. He may not be wearing his clown armour but he was still wearing the same clothes, which in Neah's horror, was also starting to change.

"You better keep the end of your bargain." The Earl said low enough to be a whisper but loud enough to be heard.

"I'm a gentleman, and we don't go against our word." Neah replied just as casually as he slipped his hand from the Earl's.

"Good!" He exclaimed and clasped his hand together. He turned the doorknob open, "This is our first client of tonight."

Neah nodded and followed The Earl through the door and as he did so, he tried hating the Earl with every fiber of his being. He tried hating him for giving them this fate, for almost destroying Mana, for making him do this.

But he can't.

The First and The Fourteenth is two halves of a whole after all.

Hating him also means hating himself, and to make things worst, he was also a part of Mana.

He didn't want to think anymore, so instead, he shifted his focus to the scene before him. The gentle quietness of the weeping wan and the air of calmness that draped over the graveyard like a mist. The soon will be shattered by a tragedy.

Neah, a simple onlooker, just observe at the play that is starting to reveal it's hidden motive.

"Why are you crying young man?" The Earl ask sadly, mouth frowning as if he was sympathizing.

The mourner didn't even glance up, but rather gaze at the cobblestone in front of him. In which, Neah concluded, was his dearly beloved.

"M-my wife. . .she died. . ." The man continued sobbing, he doesn't seem to be bothered that someone suddenly came to him in a grave yard.

The Earl went into one knee, all while clasping his hat over his chest and shaking his head sadly. A sad yet knowing smile was plastered on his face as if he was sympathizing with the younger yet older man. "I know what it feels like to loose your family,"

He said, while giving Neah, who was hiding behind one of the cobblestone, a look. And Neah cringe, putting a hand over his heart and mouthed the word ouch.

He had said sorry already for what he'd done.

Who could blame him, he was a boy and was coming to a certain age that only one though filled his mind:

Homicide.

Yes totally, it was totally not some scheme to free Mana from Adam soul and become The Earl or something. Totally not.

He was just a teenage boy who at that time was coming into a certain phase of bloodlust. Not some kind of plot to take over the Noah family or anything.

Hahahah.

"But I can bring her back." The Earl had said, looking back at the grieving man.

The man look up from his grieving position, finally looking at The Earl's face. He honestly look so surprise and yet so delighted at the same time. Hope was leaking from his eyes in the form of liquid as he started crying. . .again.

But this was of happiness.

"You can?" He ask, eyes so bright and naive, it was hard to imagine that he was a middle-age man.

The Eark stood up slowly, flipping his hat back to his head. Then, metal skeleton appeared from behind him, hanged like a curtain.

"Just call her name. And she'll come back." He said, voice sounding like a susurration.

The man thought of it for a moment and with a desperate plea, he said. "Lucia!"

The curtains parted and this is where the play starts.

A tragedy to start the play.

.

.

.

"Hey Neah?" The Earl called, hopping onto the street lights as if it was puddles of water.

Neah reacted with a hum, showing that he acknowledged the other's presence. It was quite hard to ignore him after all, especially with that tailcoat of his.

"Do you hate me?" The Earl ask, sounding mildly heartbroken.

Neah looked up, then look down again as he was silence. Lost in deep thought. "It's complicated," He answered.

And yet, the silence urged him to continue. "I hate you, I hate you so much cause you robbed Mana. You destroyed our future, but then, our future was already a world of chaos." Neah continued, sounding breathless.

"But then. . .I am you and you are me. The First and The Fourteenth, we are two halves of once a whole and no matter what, there's an abundance of love for you."

Cause humans love themselves the most.

But, if only they were someone else, someone that isn't connected to one and another. Then hopefully, they can learn to hate each other.

"Me too. . ." The Earl had said in a long moment of silence. "I want to hate you Neah. . .Mana. . .but I can't hate my children. . .They are so precious to me!"

"And Allen?" Neah ask, hopping that Allen would not be an enemy to them.

He has innocence, our natural enemy

A thoughtful look crossed the other's face and a gentle smile caressed his lips. "Allen is a special child of mine. . .I can't loose him."

A child, a family. The Earl loves his family the most.

Neah nodded, satisfied with the answer. Cause the Earl will protect his family from any harm and the fact that Allen is one of them. And because of that, Mana too can be save from his fate.

They stopped at the middle of an intersection, the sound of marching footsteps came closer and suddenly theu were surrounded. Neah recognized the new design of the exorcist and finders uniform and he reacted, hands outstretched to protect the Earl.

"Stop!" One of the men shouted, pulling something that gleams under the dim lighting of the street.

Innocence.

And it was ready to kill.

"You two are suspects for the disappearance of the people in this town!" He continued, and stepped forward. A stupid move, clearly a novice.

A low growl made his way out of Neah's throat, making the surrounding men at the edge of the feet. They made eye contact with each other before nodding.

Neah glance back, wondering how Adam would react. The patriarch simply smiled amusedly, golden eyes gleaming in humour.

Now the men are slowly stepping forward, each bringing out an array of weapons. An air of hostility sparked in the air and some even hesitate moving forward.

"Play a song for me, my beloved musician," Adam said in cruel humour.

And indeed he played.

Madness breed madness, and those who had listen to his song went insane.

"Such a wonderful performance." The Earl had praise, still smiling even when surrounded by death.

"I hope I can hear you play another one soon."

Neah tried to smile but instead he yawned, eyes blinking to wipe away the tiredness. He wobbled, feet making disgusting noises as it steps on the remnants and entrails of his victims. His head was pounding now and his limbs were screaming at how exhausted they are.

"I don't need you to carry me. . ." He had mumbled against the other back as he felt himself being carried.

"Oh, dear me!" The Earl had gasped in a mocking tone. "You have school today don't you?"

Neah tried to glare, but it was impossible when both of your eyes are close. "You too. . .have. . .school tomorrow."

And then he was silent.

Under the dim light of the street, one could notice the gentle smile on the other face.

* * *

 **To Ryukailover,**

 **What do you mean when you ask how old is Allen and Neah in the previous chapter. They're supposed to be eleven. Well, unless you mean in the dream. . .They should be teenage-ish, I think.**

 **But thank you for all your reviews, likes and favourites. Cause writing is such a passion of mine and thank you for supporting it. If you have any questions that some would like to ask, then go ahead, nothing brings more joy to a writer than a curious reader.**

 **Though I do have a question, if I write a message on my phone then send it to someone through PM does it reach them?**

 **Other then that, please review and hope you have a good day/night.**

With love,

Mana


	15. Chapter 13: Jack

**I love you,**

 **As fire loves innocence,**

 **As tragedy loves orphans,**

 **And as justice loves to sit and watch**

 **while everything goes wrong.**

* * *

He stood there, frozen, as the tip of the blade sprouted from below the chest. Like a blooming flower.

The body fell limp to the ground, revealing the attacker that dared stab his younger brother. He pointed his blade at the older sibling.

"Don't do anything, y-you witch! Or I'll do the s-same thing to you!" The knight stuttered, thrusting the sword forward with every word.

And indeed the redhead didn't move, still shocked and when realization coursed through his vein, he glared darkly. Hands gripped so tightly it draw blood.

And with a few words, everything went into flames.

"I'll give you hell!" He growled as he stalked towards the knight. Whk stood there, shaking and hesitating.

The rest of the army stood there motionless, seemingly entrance by the young warlock. Everything seem to burn a bright crimson around them, just like the malice that was leaking from their enemy.

The warlock stop, standing in front of the limp body that was continuing to bleed on the forest floor. He looked back and forth between the limp body and the coward who stabbed his brother at the back. And his hate increased.

"How dare you?" He hissed, silver eyes glowing madly.

And indeed it was hell.

.

.

.

Allen shifted under the cover of his blanket, rolling his body so he was lying on his bed. The moisture in the air cause his dry throat to burn and he yearned for a glass of water. And like fate had decreed, the alarm went off.

He quickly put himself out of his shock and closed the damn alarm. He glanced to the left where Neah was sleeping so soundly, which was weird, he always woke up half an hour before the alarm. Then, he will wake up Allen, which make the existence of the alarm clock useless.

Allen frowned, pocking Neah's cheek with his finger as an attempt to wake him up. And as Neah didn't respond to it, a sudden idea crossed his mind.

Allen grinned.

Revenge is a sweet dish after all.

.

.

.

"Neah. . ."Allen called sweetly, shaking Neah's shoulder. "Neah! Neah! Neah!" He jumped with every time he called, causing the mattress to shift often.

Neah eyes fluttered open, seemingly confuse why Allen was on top of him. His hand reached out, as if it didn't believe that it was actually Allen and not some hallucination his mind created. Though it was proven that this Allen was very much real as himself when his hand was swatted by Allen.

"Allen?" He ask, head tilted to the side.

Allen didn't react much as he was observing a tiny little detail on Neah's face. A hint of red tarnishing his porcelain skin. Was that blood perhaps?

"What is this?" Allen ask as his hand reached to wipe the red stain on Neah's cheek.

Neah wondered what Allen had meant until he see the all too familiar dark shade of dried blood on Allen's finger.

"Blood. . ." Neah had answered without thinking what he was saying. And he quickly tried to cover his mistake. "A mosquito, there was a mosquito last night and it landed on my cheek so I slapped it. . ."

Allen frowned, looking back and forth between Neah all too innocent look and the blood that stood out on his skin. "Fine. . ." Allen said all to reluctantly. I take that.

"But. . ." Allen continued, eyes narrowed dangerously as he starred at Neah beneath him. "You owe me icecream."

A mosquito?

There's a little too much blood for just a mosquito.

_..._

Allen hummed a simple melody to himself, as he practically skip his way to school. A bit too happy of his newly acquired ice cream.

Neah tried calling Allen, well he tried. But when the certain albino didn't even react to him, it was quickly proven that his calling was futile.

"Allen!" He called and grabbed Allen' is his hand. Allen stop, looking at Neah in mild curiosity. . .though his gaze was cold; cruel. "Don't ignore me!"

Allen simply smile, though it doesn't look so innocent now, more like of a devilish smirk. He tilted his head to the side, the mask that he was wearing cast aside. "Well then, don't lie to me." Allen simply said.

He doesn't know why though, he was feeling this way. His chest was burning uncomfortable and each time he thought the knowledge they were hiding from him, it ignites more.

He shouldn't hate it.

He shouldn't hate the lies and the untold truth that they have given him, cause they were brothers and all they ever did to him was protect him. He shouldn't hate it, he shouldn't hate them because of it. But, each time he thinks of it, he burns.

It was silly, just silly.

He was acting like a kid, he should act more mature.

Yeah. . .He should.

Neah was silent, still holding onto Allen's wrist, gazing up while watching Allen with pleading eyes. . .quivering. . .Such a fragile will.

Allen sigh, suppressing the fire in his heart till it turned into glowing was for his sake. . .so just for this. . .he accepts.

"I'm sorry. . ." He spoken softly, hands reaching out to cover the hand that was gripping his wrist ever so softly.

It was unlikely of him to apologize while they were the one who wronged him.

For my sake, he reminded himself.

And lips curved into a gently smile, he continued, not caring the amount of time they were wasting. "I-I was thinking of something else. . ."

Neah just stares at Allen, golden eyes clashing with silvers. Uncertain of how he should thread on this, but right now, he ahoy simply enjoy this.

Before everything falls apart.

So he pulls Allen into a tight embrace, earning curious glances from the people around him. Neah closed his eyes, smiling in content.

The last time he had hugged Allen. . .It was on a breaking day where Allen was falling apart. Where he had wished for death the most and he was the one who gifted it.

"I'm sorry. . ." He whispered ever so loudly, just so Allen could hear his confession.

Allen doesn't know how to react aside from hugging Neah back, but almost naturally he hummed in reply. His lips parted, the voice that left his mouth almost sounded foreign to him.

"I hate you Neah. . ."

Shocked, he was frozen. The words the left his mouth. . .he doesn't know wether it was a lie or not.

"And yet. . .you're so precious to me. . ."

Cause surely, it was twisted of him to hate and love the same thing.

Allen closed his eyes, feeling the soft autumn breeze to pass by him. Bringing along a melancholic tune. It was overwhelming, taking over his senses yet. . .It was invited.

 _"Trust_ me. . ."

The other pleaded and hands begging to be reached.

 _"Just do as_ _I_ _say, there's_ _a_ _way to save him!"_

The tone was urgent, demanding. They were running out of time.

And out of options, he grabbed the hand, accepting. Anything to save, he didn't want to loose his brother.

"Hahahaha!"

What a twisted irony it was

* * *

 **Sorry for the short chapter, I'm so tired actually. I think I finished the other chapter for my story but. . .To update it. . .**

 **Thank you for all you reviews, likes and favourites.**

 **With love,**

 **Mana**


	16. Chapter 14: What is going on?

"It's hard being the older brother, isn't it?" He had ask, smiling in amusement.

The other glance at him briefly before looking back at the mess their younger brother had cause. "But it's worth it." The young adult answer, smiling fondly at the thought of family.

"Even with all the troubles they come with?" He continue to ask, an eyebrow raised. Cause he wanted to know and he will.

Silence. A short lived silence, sol being broke by a straightforward phrase.

"They mean the world to me."

He didn't understand.

.

.

.

Allen waited at the entrance of the school, simply waiting. Trying to find a hint of gold among the sea of students. It has only been seven minutes and yet, no sign of Neah was found. Which made Allen worry actually cause usually, Neah was already waiting outside of Allen's class.

Tapping his feet impatiently, Allen gaze back and fourth between the hallway, his wristwatch and the darkening sky. And yet, Neah still wasn't there.

But to be honest, the thought of meeting Neah made his heart burn uncontrollably. Anger, hate, Allen cannot grasp this kind of feeling. He does not like it and in order to avoid it, Allen decided.

He should just go back alone.

By this time of his internal monologue, Allen had already exited the gate. And now, he was at the open road.

.

.

.

The walk back home was going fine actually, no accidents happen and nothing tragic befell upon him.

In fact, he had brought some snacks for Neah and Mana from a street. As an apology for his insufferable attitude earlier morning.

Really, what was going in his mind actually.

"Akuma!" Someone gasped loudly. Allen turned back, dropping the plastic full of steamed bread. Instantly he sprinted, as people in black suddenly chased him.

Allen dived into the alleyway, hoping to lost them if he was the one who will gett lost in it. After all, he get lost easily.

But even so, he still heard footsteps approaching him and the sounds of shouts. Mostly people calling him atrocious names and ordering hin to stop.

In which, he will not.

"Augh!" Allen hissed, flinching as there was a sting at his cheek. He stopped, eyes wide of shock and horror as a dagger was impaled into the wall besides him.

Not wasting anytime more, he continued to sprint. This guys were serious.

But by now, his lungs were already burning and Allen knew well enough he had exhausted his stamina supply. The marching behind him did not flatter but instead, as he slowed down it gained more speed. Allen was pressured, with no way to escape and no way to go.

So instead, he went another way. With the last bit of energy he turned left, Allen went to the side of the wall, where he climbed the emergency stairs that lead towards the roof.

Maybe that was a bad idea, but he had a plan for this. So once he reached the rooftop, he would jump towards the next building where he could hide in one of it's room. The next was a familiar shop after all. Hahahah. If only they didn't surround him in all direction.

A girl stalked towards him, each of her hand holding a pair of daggers. She was likely the one who threw one of it at him earlier on. She was glaring at him, eyes filled with murderous intent as if Allen had killed her uncles and aunties, parents and grandparents.

"Wait!" Allen cried and with each distance she covered towards him, Allen would also move back.

"Wait!" Allen called again and also with the same answer as the previous', he didn't get a reply.

The back of his feet his something and he almost fell down the four story building. Now at the edge and with nowhere to go, Allen was cornered.

"Akuma!" The girl growled, destroying the picture of ladylike that was reserved for her.

Allen gulped, looking back and forth between the older girl and the m.i.b that was striding towards him. One of them raised his staff at him, pointing the tip towards Allen.

He closed his eyes, preparing for the worst.

But then. . .it didn't come and instead he felt the gentle finger of someone caressing him.

Foreign finger.

Allen snapped his eyes open, looking at the newfound stranger with mild curiosity and shock. With inky black hair and cold blue eyes, the soft smile on his face did not suite him at all. And judging by how he was a head higher then Allen, he was most likely older.

His left eye throbbed and his left hand was just itchy be use. Allen doesn't understand why.

"Are you okay, Master Allen?" The stranger ask so soft and so gentle, Allen wanted to jump of this building right here and now.

There's too much weirdos in the world.

"I'm sorry for being late. . ." He continued, pressing his thumb against the scratch on Allen's face. Pressuring it. to the point blood seep through the opening of his finger.

Seeing that, his facial expression harden, now his cold blue eyes was almost glowing as he glared at the people in black behind. "How dare you hurt him!" He hissed.

He turned back to Allen, adopting a more softer look as he covered Allen's eyes. Please kill me now! He didn't want too be involve in stupid stuff anymore.

"Please close your eyes, master Allen" The young adult told him.

And Allen listen to the older man request, since seeing people murdering each other would most likely affect his mental health.

"You will be punished." The familiar voice growled with so much malice.

And Allen was shocked and amidst his apalled state, he took a step backwards. And promptly feel to his doom.

Maybe he should just wait for Neah next time.

.

.

.

Allen braced himself for the hard, cold surface of concrete. And never in his life he was thankful of the dumpster, it still hurt when he fell down but it had manage to break his fall. So it doesn't hurt that much now.

"Haah. Haa. . ." Allen gasped, his heart pounding and his lungs demanding a huge supply of oxygen.

"Fuck. . ." Allen cursed in a breathless state, the sudden fall making his mind racing. "What just happen?" He ask, apparently to no one at all.

Allen decided to not waste anytime sooner, so he pushed himself up the cold tiled concrete into a standing position. His breathing was heavy and his heart was beating too erratically, Allen waited till his body went back into a calm state.

"Allen!" Someone called at the mouth of the alleyway, and never in his life had he ever be so happy of seeing his brother. Well except that one time of the occult, that was a nasty experience.

Neah ran towards him, hair in a wild tangle locks and golden eyes wide of shock. "What happen?" He ask as he arrived near Allen.

Such is the question but what of the answer.

"I don't know. . ." Allen replied, still in the process of catching his breath.

"I was going back home. . ." Allen continued and straightened his back. "Then theses guys suddenly came and chase me."

Neah looked alarmed. "Who?" He ask, voice dripping with worry and concern.

Allen shrugged and pointed towards the rooftop where he could hear shouts and cry of pain. "They were wearing all black and keep calling me akuma, which is rude actually." Allen said it in a casual manner.

"And each of them have a weapon. One of them even threw a dagger at me!" Allen said in exasperation.

"So. . .you ran?" Neah ask in a hopeful tone.

"I was cornered." Allen confessed, feeling heat climbing up his neck.

By this point of Allen story of his wondrous luck, Neah was already tired of hearing it. Sure he was curious at what had happen but. . .he kind of get the hold of the story by now. After all, one is a chance, two is a coincidence and three is a pattern.

This had occurred numerous of time already.

"And this guy came-" Allen said.

"Good evening, Master Noah." A voice said from behind Allen. Making him shriek and jump a little, Neah stifled a laugh cause he didn't want to injure Allen's pride.

Allen glance back at the older man behind him and at Neah, cause the words didn't seem to make any sense.

"What do you mean, M-" But before Allen could finish his question Neah cut him.

"Let's go back home, Allen." Neah said as he grabbed Allen's wrist.

What day is it today, Rude Day?

Cause everyone doesn't seem to have any manner today.

"Thank you for your service." Neah had said to the older man before he started dragged to drag Allen away.

"Ummm. . .Thank you!" Allen manage to say before he exited the alleyway.

.

.

.

"Hey, Neah?" Allen called his older twin, wanting to ask questions about earlier. But then, Neah gave him an apologetic look.

Allen piped down cause he knows that look. A face that no matter how desperate Allen ask he will never get the answer out from that mouth.

One would say ignorant is a bliss.

But in Allen's case it is just pure torture.

And he always hated it;

Wanting to know and not knowing,

Cause people will always be curious in what they don't know, and Allen doesn't know a lot of thing.

* * *

 **Hahaha! The Black Order have made their move. Wonder what will happen next? Don't ask me, I don't know. I just go with the flow actually.**

 **Tothesky1994: Did I get your name right? I actually made my own theory of Neah. Not the theory of his background but the theory of what he is and what he had done, and since he is human, I inserted his personality and thoughts to fill the blank. In which, I concluded, he wil likely feel out most regret and the feeling as if he's running out of time. I might post it as an A/N if you want me to, it might not be accurate enough since I'm just 14 but it can be served as a good guideline at writing his character. I find it quite boring to read Neah as a simple obsessive-over-Allen character, at which I did it at the start of the story.**

Other then that, I would like to say thank you for reading this story until this far cause I now most of you stop since there's no Kanda, no Lavi and no Lenalee by now. In which I'll reply #GetYoTagsStraight

I'm actually not a big fan of them but instead I like Mana, Neah, Cross and Allen more.

Anyway. . .Thanks for all your reviews likes and favourites. Please ask me or tell me if you have any questions that you're wondering and if you want to say something wether it's criticism or compliments or you jusf want some kind of human interaction.

With out most love,

Mana

p.s. what's the difference between then and than?


	17. AN: To Make Your Own Neah

Tothesky1994:

Okay. Let's make thing simple first.

Now, who is Neah? The one that we currently know.

Basically, he's the Fourteenth, the half of the Earl, Mana's brother and what most of you call, Allen's parasite.

Let's draw the line first, Neah is Mana's younger twin, they are two peas in a pod meaning they are close. Mana is The Earl and Neah once almost destroyed the Earl's whole family.

Let's don't forget that whoever Neah is, he is a Noah.

Killing his family member will likely make his Noah cry, I mean when Skin died Road and Tyki did. And Neah was the one who was doing the killing and not just one family member but almost all. He almost won that game.

Almost. I think we got the regret part done.

He regret that he didn't get the job done, he regret that he wasn't able to become The Earl and free Mana and all those theories.

Now fast forward to the alleyway where he was dying until our favorite martyr show up. That person would likely be close to Neah cause I doubt that a simple acquaintance would go, " Use me Neah. . .". So that person would undoubtedly be someone who is close to Neah.

I don't want to point fingers or anything, but I think it's Allen. So Pasta. . .hmmm. . .I don't want to say if he's the old bookman apprentice or some sorcerer, we don't know his real occupation so let's use Allen in generally but I'm going to use Pasta for a while.

Let's go back to Neah, hearing what Pasta said Neah would likely be in a WTF dude? State. And even before he could give his answer, Pasta, did the soul transfer without Neah permission.

Let's fast forward to the recent chapter. I bet Neah would feel like shit, cause if you think about it. . .Neah is strangely tragically beautiful. Think about it, Allen, his old comrade, the idiot who gave his body to Neah ;) now hates his gut. I mean, I bet he feel confuse as hell to find that Allen wasn't his Allen.

Now, I'm going to burn Allen a little bit, Allen has all sorts of allies, countless even and no matter how tragic his path is, at least he have people walking with him. Neah on the other hand, his only allies now forgets about him and the other is dead! The Noahs hate him for killing them in their previous life, Mana/The Earl hates him cause he killed his family and since he is a Noah, the Black Order and innocence is his natural enemy.

The only ally he have is a guard dog of a sadist who will betray him if he was give the order too.

And now, all side is trying to get rid of him, the Noah for revenge and the exorcist to give back Allen's body.

Yup, he's all alone.

I have this thought that Neah would likely be a strategic person, killing most of the Noah will be needing some crazy plan. I mean, he did what no one else did, which is The murder of eleven Noahs. The Black Order just manage to kill one.

He almost one the war for fuck sake.

Huzzah for the third party.

So now we got regret, alone and strategic.

I'm going to add another few.

Hmmm. . .Neah is planning something, I'm sure of it. I think he knows that he is going to be gone soon and I think that he couldn't bear to destroy Allen, that's why Allen is now roaming his dream pworld. He's just stalling time, I supposed.

There's a sense of urgency, he need to finish the job, get things right and leave the easy part to Allen cause he is going to leave the stage soon, and he knows it.

And remember the panel where Neah(Allen) cradled Mana's face in his hand and explained, "the two of us. . .we are half of the Earl. . ." Along the line.

His expression seems a bit. . .rueful, don't you think? As if it was some kind of twisted humour.

So now we get, Neah with the broadswoard of his is of to destroy the world to save the one that he loves while everyone else wants to kill him.

# DependentGoals

With this we got: regret, alone, strategic, a sense of urgency, rue and etc

And people ask me why I like Neah so much, this guy here is the biggest contribute to the war. All of this wouldn't happen if he didn't do anything.

Oh, wait, I'm fangirling now.

Let me go back and continue, 'The Destroyer who Saves'. Does that ring a bell, it actually suits Neah more than it suits Allen, I give you the reasons as a homework.

Go share your theories or anything by reviewing.

Good Luck!

With best regard,

Mana

p.s. did you get my Pm gentlesoul76? Say hi to your therapist for me and it's okay, the both of us can be stupid and brain dead together. And even I don't know the difference between therapist and psychiatrist.

And thanks for all your lovely reviews


	18. Chapter 15: Dreams or Nightmares or both

_"Allen. . .please. . .before I turn into something I don't want. . ." Pleading, the other's voice was bleeding._

 _". . .Please destroy me!" Those words were thrown at him like needles._

 _And he hesitated, stopped from doing everything and trying to stop existing._

 _He couldn't bare, after all, the other was precious, far precious. . ._

 _"I. . .I. . ." He started, drawing the words out with uncertainty. ". . .Can't. . .I love you so much. . .so. . ."_

 _"I'm sorry. . "_

 _He was the only one that truly understand him._

* * *

 _They were family after all,_

* * *

Allen had wondered. . .since when had the line between dreams and nightmares becomes so deluded?

By this point of his life, he could no longer tell the difference between them. Then again. . .His dreams had been so vivid that there was no way to discern between them. And sometimes, the boundary of reality and dream also been breach.

 _"It hurts you know. . .being rejected by your family over and over again. . ."_

Allen's breath hitched, and something warm was rolling down his cheek. He turned to the side, towards the edge of the bed.

 _"No matter how much I tried to prove myself. . .that I'm not useless. . .not defected. . .it doesn't matter. . ."_

His heart was burning uncomfortably of a reminiscent sorrow. The Allen inside his dream was also crying.

 _"Then. . .I realize how poison the air inside that house was. . .and I left. . ."_

 _They_ were poison.

And so. . .he too was like them.

 _"But you're not useless Allen. . ."_ The warm figure said, giving reassurance.

Wether it was fake or not, he doesn't know.

 _"No one is useless in this world. . ."_

 _"At least. . .Not entirely. . ."_

There was something dark inside of him, something cold. But. . .somehow he could also relate to it. After all, there was no such thing as black or white when it comes to human, only different shades of gray.

A combination of both good and evil, that's what humans are.

 ** _"Humans are truly dirty."_**

The both of them had agreed.

* * *

 _This little group is._

* * *

"Dirty. . ." He whispered as he splashed his face with another round of cold water. Watching his reflection in the bathroom mirror with bloodshot eyes.

"I'm so dirty. . ." He muttered again, apparently to himself. And the shadows seem to agree with him.

Was this a dream or reality?

He doesn't know.

He blinked, watching as his reflection did the same. His right hand reach for his left eyes, tracing that outline of his scar. He couldn't see his hands as it traced his eyes, after all he was blind at the left.

"Useless. . ." He muttered, digging his finger into the eye socket. Blood start to accumulate at the top of his fingernails, where it had dig into the skin.

"Stupid. . ." He continued. "You're not even of any use!" The last sentence was spoken loudly.

Then, there was blood everywhere and he felt so dirty. It was a relief when the darkness came, pulling him into it's embrace where there is nothing. Nothing that can taint him anymore.

* * *

 _From the very beginning. . ._

* * *

A dream within a dream.

Allen eyes snapped open, gasping and wheezing as he grip his chest tightly. Silent cries left his mouth, unattended and unheard.

"Mana. . ." He cried out to the inky darkness. "I need Mana. . ."

Something wet was rolling down his cheek, warm and thick. When Allen wipe it, it spreaded along his fingertips. Even in the darkness, Allen know that the liquid was a bright shade of red.

"Please. . .!" He pleaded, hoping that someone would hear him.

But no one would hear him in this empty darkness. And soon after, it was starting hard to breath. Suffocation, he soon realise that he was drowning.

Then. . .A silver lining. . .A silver child loomed in front of him. With white hair and grey eyes, an ugly scar ran over his left eyes. The child starred at him, looking down, not blinking, not breathing and yet there was something familiar about him.

"Who are you?" Allen ask, his voice hoarse and blood dripping from his eyes. He must've look like a nightmare.

While the child look like a dream.

"Have you forgotten. . .?" The child ask quietly, his voice sounding like a shattered innocence.

The next second, the child was crouched in front of him. And upon closer reaction, Allen noticed faint outline of water running down his pale skin

A child. . .why did Allen label him as a child? They were particularly of the same age.

"Who are you?" Allen ask once again, his voice breaking and he started crying again of red tears. An emotion was resurrected in his chest, something so old and foreign.

An overwhelming sorror.

"You really have forgotten, don't you. . .?" The child said softly, hands slowly reaching to cup his face.

"Who are you?" Allen ask a bit forcefully, it came out as a hiss. He doesn't understand and yet something in his mind seem to click.

"I am you and you are me." The child explained with a warm smile.

"The two of us. . ." This time, it was Allen who continued. "We are one of the same."

It was as simple as that.

Dreams and Nightmares, in the end, both are a product of the mind.

And then, the darkness consumed them and they found themselves drowning in the sea of reality. But at least, they have each other to held on to.

And slowly. . .slumber dripped away from Allen's eyes and he founded himself crying of crimson blood and salty tears. Allen breathed heavily, covering his eyes with his arm.

He was finally awake this time.

"I'm alive, aren't I?" Allen ask to apparently, no one. But still, he waited for an answer.

He doesn't understand of what he dreamt of and yet, he comprehend it. Deep down. . .the truth was buried in him but accepting it meant that he was a fake, a lie.

But then, had his existence always been a truth?

"We are a cursed being. . ." Something inside of him whispered.

Now, Allen simply opened his eyes wide. Now wanting to sleep anymore.

Illusion or reality?

Well, Allen lives in both.

* * *

 _. . .until the very end._

* * *

"Are you okay Allen?" Neah ask meekly, voice dripping with concern and worry.

Allen continued to walk down the road, seemingly ignoring Neah presence. "You will tell me right? One day. . ." Allen questioned out of the blue. "The truth?" He continued to ask.

"I. . .I. . ." Neah hesitated, raking his mind for an excuse. But finally, he gave up, "I. . .will. . .one day. . .".

Cause it is cruel of me for hiding the truth.

A bitter laughter escapes from his mouth and the grip on his hands tightened, he didn't realize he was gripping his hands until before this. "The truth is so painful Allen. . ." He said forcefully with a bitter smile. "I don't think that you can handle it at your current state. . ."

Allen sigh deeply, it felt like a weight was lifted up from his chest. "Then tell me when I'm stronger." Allen said cause he was so tired to argue now. "When my mind is no longer brittle and when I have something to live for, if it's that painful for me to know." Allen continued.

"Promise me that and I won't bring it up anymore." Allen declared.

"I promise." Neah said.

Allen turned to Neah, smiling faintly and his hand was stretched out. It took Neah a couple of seconds to react, making him smiling slyly.

"You're so cruel Allen. . ." Neah said as he took Allen's hand.

"It's just precaution!" Allen replied cheekily.

A blood oath.

Neah was honestly proud.

Allen too was a twisted person.

"Can't keep my hand to myself. . ." Neah started.

"Neah!" Allen sigh in exasperation, why can't Neah act older for once.

"You know me the best, dear!" Neah mocked, grinning gleefully.

"Well darling!" Allen replied in a sarcastic tone, and he smirked. "I hope you know that I changed your textbooks cover yesterday."

And instantly Neah recoiled his hands, as if he was just stung. "What!" He exclaimed and then frowned, "That's just mean Allen. . ."

But then he shrugged, going into a not-caring attitude. "It's not like I ever used them either. . ." His eyes went wide as realization hit him. "My report is in my science book! I'm going to fail!"

"Allen!" He turned seeing as Allen was no longer in front of him but rather of in the front, running. "Allen!" He cried after Allen as he went into a sudden sprint.

"I'd spent one week for that report Allen!" He shouted, hands reaching out to gran Allen as he continued his collision course towards him. "I trusted you!"

As he ran, Allen glance back, sticking his tongue out at Neah for a brief second and then returned back to the front as he avoided running in at passerby. Though he didn't have to as they mainly avoided them.

They had a reputation at the town, and along with being Mana's younger brother it just made them to be more avoided. Not only does Mana tend to get. . .overprotective over his younger brother but Neah also will. . .overreact over strangers. And Allen. . .Well Allen is just plain scary, not only of his appearance, I mean, this kid once set a person on fire and it was meant for the principal.

Along with the rest of accusations that was supposed to put them behind bars.

Neah lunged at Allen, arms outstretched to pull Allen into his hold. And as gravity work, they both fall down. Neah used the momentum to roll so it wouldn't hurt much when he hit the pavement. Well obviously, he wouldn't let Allen be injured or get hurt or anything.

"Hah. . .hah. . ." Neah whizzed, catching his breath as he laugh at the same time. "Victory. . ." He exclaimed in a breathless state.

"Huzzah!" Allen said in exasperation and he tried to wriggle out of Neah's grip, trying to release Neah's arm around his shoulder. "Now, let of me!" Allen cried.

"I didn't hear any apology." Neah said in his twisted sense of amusement. He was clearly enjoying it.

Allen snorted and instead resorting into violence. Apologizing seem to be the most efficient way of getting out of Neah's stronghold but unfortunately, he was prideful. So with his fingernails that have a long history of digging into it's owner skin, Allen gripped Neah's arm. . .tightly.

Neah, almost immediately, released Allen as he cried out in pain so it resulted in Allen's victory. But thanks to his Noah genes, the small injury was immediately healed the moment Allen released his fingers.

"I hate you. . ." Neah sniffled as he pouted on the ground, trying to force himself to cry.

"Like you can do that?" Allen half mocked while half stating. You love me rotten!

"I can try. . ." Neah suggested as he stood up and dusted himself.

"You once tried to avoid me and Mana. . .it wasn't until five minutes that you went hysterical!" Allen exclaimed.

"Mana and I." Neah corrected.

"You admit it!" Allen gasped.

"Whatever. . ." Neah grumbled, shifting his bag on his shoulder as he walked through the gate of the school with Allen following besides him.

The time reads 9:03 a.m. on the clock watch the was hanging above the doors but they couldn't care less. They have quite the reputation here, even police tend to avoid them.

"Damn it, Allen!" Neah curses while Allen giggles besides him.

Science was the only subject he particularly enjoy.

Who says that Allen can't be the naughty one among his siblings?

* * *

 _It's nice to finally have people who doesn't reject you,_

 _And maybe that's why. . .this little group of unordinary people. . ._

 _I fell in love,_

 _Just like how they all love each other._

 _And maybe. . .just maybe. . ._

 _If they learn on how to hate each other. . ._

 _They could save one another._

* * *

 _But it was only musings of someone who regrets,_

 _Right Allen. . .?_

 _Hey, Neah?_

 _If I had listened to Mana. . .at the time he wanted me to kill him. . ._

 _Will this happen?_

 _Probably not. . .but no matter how many times the events repeat. . ._

 _I still can't find my resolve to kill him._

 _So. . .that's why. . ._

 _I don't want to be involve anymore. . .my heart can't take it._

 _. . ._

 _I can't choose a side. . .the three of you. . .are my world._

 _. . ._

 _But then not choosing means that I'll lost the three of you. . ._

 _So. . .I'll make my own side and I hope you'll join me._

 _This catastrophe that will occur, I'll find a way to stop it._

 _I won't let you all become a tragedy again!_

* * *

 _"_ The time that means _your_ downfall. . .I don't need it!"

* * *

 **They were family after all,**

 **This little group is.**

 **From the very beginning. . .**

 **Until the end.**

* * *

 **How was this chapter? Hahahah. I just like to complicate my own story, don't I. Unfortunately, I won't explain anything since I know the people who are reading this are completely ca[able of making their own theories.**

 **Did I actually make a chapter on how to make your own Neah? It's hilarious really. I don't know why though.**

 **And finally, thanks for all your reviews, favourites and likes. And if you want to know wether your theories are close or not, please review or wether you want to give critics or compliments.**

 **With love,**

 **Mana**


	19. Chapter 16: Off we go

_._

 _I want to listen to them again_

 _._

* * *

 _"Please Allen._ . _.Kill me_ _._ . .I _'_ m _afraid_ I'll loose soon. . ." The other had pleaded, gasping and begging for death.

Silence, he wanted to reject it, to say he can't but he was also heartbroken.

 _"Why me._ . .?"

* * *

Allen can't sleep. He doesn't now why but for the past four hours his mind was doing something strange. And no matter how much he ordered his mind to shut up and go shut down it won't listen to him. His mind must be conspiring of him.

And now, being self-driven by his traitorous mind he can't help but be curious of what he never knew could be curious of.

And he was ashamed of it.

"Is brinjal a fruit?"

He asked out loud but unfortunately, apparently to no one. But on the bright side, there's Neah sleeping besides him as he was to tired to entertain Allen after the second hour of his sleeplessness. So he didn't technically didn't talked alone and still hold a faint grip of his sanity.

But more importantly. .

What exactly defines a fruit, was it it's family origin? It's colour? It's taste?

Why was he being racist of plants anyway?

Plants are all plants, no matter of what species.

So, not wanting to waste any more of his sleeping time, Allen tried to drown his thoughts. But ultimately, his rebellious mind somehow thought that sleep wasn't that important.

So without further a due, Allen decided to to indulge his mind so it would finally shut up. And for that, he needed someone who is. . .wise. . .mature. . .He need Mana for this.

And so, he slipped out from his bed and -not so- quietly tiptoed on the cold wooden floor where he was headed towards the door. The door cried ever so slightly as he pulled it in a soft manner and the floor would croak once or twice as he put weight on it. But luckily, gravity was on his side and he didn't made too much noise to the point it would make Neah wake up.

The sudden coldness of the marble send a spark up his leg to his spine, making him shiver and gasp. And with each step, it was like walking on ice as the temperature is accommodate to the late autumn. Mana's room was not far from his as it was only across the hallway.

Allen twisted the doorknob slowly so that it wouldn't make any noise and as the it clicked open, Allen finally pushed the door. Gentle cries of disagreement came from the iron hinge of the door as friction comes into play. Oh, how Allen wish that the laws science would stop for a while!

But thankfully, the noise was not loud enough to wake them as Allen once heard, they were in the REM stage of sleep so it would be hard to wake them up.

Allen swiftly stepped through the closing door, his bear feet crying as it hit the cold floor. He should have wore socks next time.

Mana was sound asleep on the bed, seemingly buried under a blanket. Allen hurriedly walk over Mana, not caring if his steps would make any loud noise. . .cause he need Mana to wake up. As he neared Mana, he shook Mana unceremoniously, making the other's eye ruefully open.

But as he realized the person who woke him wasn't a robber, Mana's eyes soften from it's previous glare adopting a more confused look. Mana was most likely confuse right now, with Allen looming besides him like a ghost.

 _._

 _Their sweet, damp noise_

 _._

* * *

"Do not touch that!" He roared and lunged at the other to stop him from laying a finger on his half-finished experiment.

"Joyd! Why didn't you use the door?!" He half raged half questioned and feeling one hundred percent annoyed.

But instead, the other gave a mirth laugh, eyes gleaming with amusement as if watching the other loose the plot was entertaining. "I did," He answered, concealing his laughter. "I walked through it."

Grumbling under his breath, he also gritted his teeth, refraining himself from putting any curse on the other. He knows a lot, probably a bit too much to keep his sanity intact.

"Mana! Neah!" He shouted, causing the other to flinch and cover his ears. "Your cousin brake into my room again!"

* * *

"Is brinjal a fruit?" Allen ask with all seriousness, it was simply for a distraction.

Mana was quite for a while, confuse silence was settling in comfortably in the room. While amusement was already eating popcorn.

Then Mana finally reacted, sighing in frustration.

"Allen. . ." Mana drawled out, too tired to even think what nonsense Allen was spawning currently. "Go to sleep. . .now. . ." Mana said in a commanding tone.

Then he said softly, in a pleading manner. "Please. . ." for the sake of my sanity.

I need sleep, child!

Allen gaze hardened and his tone darkened, "This is more important!"

And now it dissolve into frustration as Allen starts fidgeting on his spot, combing his hair to the back and releasing it more often then not. "I can't sleep, Mana!"

"My thoughts are too loud and they won't stop!" Allen said in frustration.

Now, Mana is no psychology student so he can't make an accurate conclusion but it'll took an idiot to know what's the problem. His mind was working slower then one currently but trust his neurons to do the job correctly.

"What are they saying. . .?" Mana ask quietly.

"They say. . I have to kill you. . .to save you. . .But how does destroying means saving, huh?" Allen said in a rueful manner, he combed a finger through the back of his hair and held on, gripping his hair.

"Who Allen?" Mana ask, watching as Allen release his hair, a few silver strands flying in the air. "Which one?"

"The voices in my head. . .all lf them. . .they won't stop. . .each time I'll try to sleep they would drown me. . ." Allen answered hesitantly, gripping the helm of his sleeve for reassurance. "They say that I have to destroy. . .to finish my job. . ."

Then. . .Allen was silence for a while. "What. . .what should I do. . .?"

"Just. . .just ignore it. . .the voices, once you pay attention to them. . .it will become more powerful." Mana answered.

 _._

 _To gentle bedew my soul again_

 _._

* * *

"No. . ." He sobbed, cradling the limp body in his arm as his hands pressure the wound near the chest.

Destruction covered him from all side of burnt corpses and burning forrest, they had deserve it.

He raked his brain for any spells, any way to save him, and damned him from not knowing any and blast him for only specialising in curses. Civilization was far away for help and once people saw them, the results would surely be the same. So what should he do?

A curse. His breath hitched, sudden realization coming across him. His hand work fast, covering the wound and the chest. "I'm sorry Cross. . ." He apologized, truly sorry. . .But this was the only way to save him.

Blast him for only specialising in curses.

* * *

"I. . .I can't Mana. . ." Allen answers, his nails puncturing the fabric of his sleeve and digging into his skin.

"If you can't ignore. . .then overpower them!" Mana continued, a moment of clarity in the time of chaos.

"How?" Allen continue to ask, after all, he came to Mana to quench his curiosity.

"Allen. . .don't forget. . . You're the one who is in control!"

.

.

.

"Allen. . ." Neah called in a hoarse voice, he blinked a few time before rubbing his eyes tenderly. Then he yawned, "Why are you up so early?"

"Why are you up so late?" Was Allen's instant reply.

"What?" Neah ask in uncertainty, dumbfounded, he glance left and right for the clock and as he saw the time, he instantly gasped and jumped from the bed. Tripping over the blanket that fell on the floor as he ran towards the bathroom.

"Why didn't you wake me?" Neah complained from the bathroom.

Instead, Allen shrugged and slung his bag over his shoulder. "I tried!" Allen answered in a calm demeanour, voice loud enough so that Neah can hear him.

Seconds later, the door swung open in a wide ark, revealing a frantic Neah with his eternal bed hair. Neah ran towards the closet, grabbing a jacket and a pair of sock that he wore as he walked towards their desk to grab his bag. Talk about multitasking!

"Ahhh. . ." Neah muttered as he spun in circles, seemingly in search for something.

Allen stood there, at the edge of the room, in an awkward position as he watch this unusual scene unfold before him. It was quite amusing actually. . .Allen started laughing-

 _"You tried so hard._ . _.aren't you tired of it?"_

"Are you okay Allen?" Neah ask in sudden worried, voice dripping with concern.

Allen smiled shakily for reassurance, "I'm fine," He answered. "Did you find what you were looking for?"

Hearing that, Neah hit his pocket. "I found it."

"Let's go."

Allen sigh and continued his pace so he wouldn't fall behind Neah. He put his hands into his pocket to escape from the cold of near winter, humming a melody under his breath. A gust of cold and dry wind gently flow past them, a sign of the upcoming season. Allen closed his eyes and inhaled deeply the clear air, filling his lung with clean oxygen.

"Allen. . ." Mana had said last night, his voice sounding more like an order rather then an advice. "Don't forget. . .you're the one who's in control. . .not them. . .not the voices but you! You have a right over your own body so use it! Force them into silence!"

And Allen indeed listen, he was in control of his own body and mind.

The voices have no right.

* * *

"Neah. . ." Allen called and suddenly stop in his track. Neah too stopped upon hearing his name being called, he turned around, watching Allen with a confused expression. "I don't want to go to school." he continued, which was funny since they were already at the school gate.

Neah was silence, contemplating, and then he decided. "What do you want to do insread?" Neah ask, apparently he too agreed with Allen and along the rwst of the kids who are currently skipping. I mean, they can't be the only one!

"Library?" Allen suggested hesitantly, giving an awkward smile.

Neah shrugged and loop his arm over Allen's. "The library it is then!" He exclaimed excitedly and start dragging Allen of.

Allen laugh in mirth, amused by Neah's usual antics.

But as they arrived at the library, Allen couldn't help but sleep after the first half an hour they arrived. He was tired actually and the thought of school put him under an amount of stress. Neah must have noticed, or not, he wouldn't had agreed in Allen's idea.

Neah instead, hummed gently as he read a book about the great fire that had happened long ago. Though, he the details really well, it had involved two certain redhead friends of his. An accident they had said, they didn't mean to almost burn an entire continent they said.

He would have laugh actually, if it were not the rule of being quite in the library. They were tons of college students but none of them seem to wonder, Why is there two elementary school students? Maybe none bothered.

Though, his mood was instantly ruined once he sensed a bad company. He gently layed the book on the table so that it wouldn't wake up the albino. His mind was already calling a certain akuma and not a few seconds later, it arrived.

Stark black hair and piercing blue eyes, he was the opposite of Allen. "Master, Noah." The akuma greeted formally.

Neah nodded in reply, keeping his voice in a hushed tone in order not to alert the people surrounding them. "Watch over Allen." He ordered, simple and precise.

"And what of the exorcist?" The akuma asked, tilting his head slightly.

A low growl escapes from Neah's throat at the thought of those innocence wielding scums. "I'll handle them. You, your job have always been to protect Allen so do it properly!" Neah said loudly, but not to loud but just loud enough for the other to hear clearly.

The akuma bowed his head in respect, smiling faintly at the thought of serving. "Of course, master Noah. . ."

As Neah left, it flicked it's gaze at Allen. Watching as the young boy sleeping peacefully on the wooden table, oblivious to the rest of his surrounding.

It took a seat at the opposite, grabbing the book that Neah was reading and opening it. Though it seem that as if he was invested on the book, it's kind of vision never escapes Allen. Eyes scanning the surrounding area from time to time to detect any threats and those who seem like one. With thorn clothing and many piercing on their body, most likely in a group, it would react.

It lowered the book dowm, glaring and scowling, daring them to come any closer to the white hair child. And if they did, it would bare it's fangs and growled.

It was his orders after all.

 _._

 _With the pious dread of a child_

 _._

Allen woke up from his nap, feeling as fresh as ever. But the scene that was before him kinda make his mind into a chaotic state again.

Especially when Neah was still cursing under his breath, wrapping his somehow wounded arm and kept on muttering something that sounds uncanny resemblance to, "Those innocence wielding jerks-", "Black Order scums-" and some more crude phrases that no eleven year old should now. Something related to BDSM.

"Neah?" Allen called, a bit dumbfounded at the current moment.

Neah turned to Allen, eyes wide of surprise and then, he broke into an awkward smile while hiding his arms under the table. "Oh, kunbanwa Allen!" Neah greeted with out most cheerfulness.

"Good evening," Allen said in reply.

Neah chuckled, scratching his chin with his index finger and his eyebrows slightly scrunched together. "I didn't realize you were awake. . ."

"I didn't realize you got into a fight while I was sleeping. . ." Allen instantly reply, resting his head on the table.

"What? Nope. . .I didn't. . ."

Allen raised one of his eyebrow, smiling faintly but it was hidden behind his arms. "The arm, the cheek and the somehow messier hair. . .hmmm. . .I'm not sure of the last one. . ." Allen said loudly, earning a few glares from the young adults at the table besides them.

Neah instead crossed his arm over his chest and puffed his cheeks, pouting. He slumped against the backrest of the wooden chair and started to slide down.

"I didn't fight. . .I just defended myself. . ." He mumbled, making Allen grin from ear to ear. "They were the one who started first. . .not me!"

Allen giggled in reply, covering his mouth with his hands in order not to offend Neah. "You did, did you not?" Allen said in an amused tone.

Neah shrugged, "Just a few scratches. . ."

Though Allen did not ask, he did wonder who manage to land the scratches on Neah. He had never seen Neah get hurt before and never the one that manage to make him bleed.

Allen sigh and frowned, feeling the sudden emptiness at his upper abdomen. "I'm hungry. . ." He said, then look at the watch that hung on the wall. "There's Burger King outside. . ." Allen suggested.

* * *

 **I want to listen to them again,**

 **Their sweet, damp noise.**

 **To gently bedew my soul again,**

 **With the pious dread of a child.**

* * *

 **I'm sorry for updating late, I just had my piano exam last Thursday and I spend the last three days planning this chapter. Cause I'm on a sort of a writer's block, I don't know how to approach the current plot so this arc will be slow.**

 **Thank you for all your likes, favourites and reviews. If you have any questions, please review or PM me and if you have any criticism or anything, please review.**

With love,

Mana


	20. Chapter 17: Once we were real

"I really hate martyrs, Cross," he says, voice low. "So help me, I will bind you on this spot with a fucking curse if I have to, but I will not let you to go off!"

The younger brother simply scowled, crossing his arm in his I-do-what-I-want stance, "Who are you to stop me?" He ask in a mocking tone.

"You have cursed me before, why should I be afraid of another one?"

* * *

 _"I know what you are."_

"Oh, fuck you and your Twilight references Allen!" Neah says in clear annoyance as he walk away from the couch. Trying to escape.

Allen simply smirk and stalked towards Neah who had claimed the piano seat as his own. A look of clear disgust was clearly written on Neah's face seeing as Allen was walking towards him with his shit eating grin, though it was quite ironic that just months ago he was the one who tend to be annoying. He was probably off season, so that's why.

 _How can a little thing be so annoying?_

"Neah!" Mana shouted from the other side of the room. "Mind your language!"

Instead, Neah stuck his tongue out. "I'll stop saying those words when English stops making them." Neah replies in return.

You just gotta love the English language.

Allen and Neah are just little shits, and Mana is the only one sane in this household.

.

.

.

Allen was feeling hyper, not the crazy, shaking kind of hyper but the hyper that he was aware of everything. He was having such a clear mind to the point that he wanted to go outside and grab some fresh air. But he didn't, cause he would never actually leave his home for that reason, unless if it was to catch pokemon. Gotta catch 'em all!

Neah had surprisingly good luck at that game as he had caught a Charmander at one point of their Pokemon hunting while Allen only caught a Piggly Puff. Out of rage of how unfair the world is Allen had attacked Neah's phone and now. they were banned from playing that game ever again.

So know, he was acutely aware of the the two men, dressed in all black, tailing him and Neah as they were walking to school. Neah too must have noticed as he was forcing smiles as he talk to Allen, straining his face.

Allen actually wants himself to be captured actually, if it was a means to get his answers then so be it. Neah doesn't wan't to answer so he'll search his own. But then again, the men look so intimidating, every time Allen glanced back his confidence would deflate.

With those sunglasses and black robes, they look like the old agents of Men in Black, like really old, 18th Century Old.

 _"Oshiete!"_ Neah had cursed besides him, gripping the hair the curtained his face.

"Why?" Allen ask, mildly amused by Neah used of the Japanese word.

"I forgot my pencil box!" Neah answered in a whisper, as if he didn't want the people around them to hear of his innocent mistakes.

"It's okay. . ." Allen reply in an attempt to soothe his older sibling. "Cause I have it."

Actually, he had seen Neah's pencil box on the table, lying so innocently above finished homework. He couldn't resist the temptation.

 _"Allen!"_ Neah hissed in exasperation. And Allen sigh.

In order to escape his brother rage, Allen skip as he walks forward, leaving Neah behind to bite the dust. Neah cried after him, with all his bottled emotion and Allen ignored him, singing a song out loud.

 _"Once I was real! Once I was somebody's child!"_

The song just had been loud since people kept giving him odd glances, and just for the sake of annoyance, Allen sang louder. Now running as Neah had caught up with his skipping.

 _"Once I could feel! Some feeling once in a while!"_

Honestly, the song was very emotional actually but with him running away from Neah and Neah threatening him to stop. It was so much fun, so he couldn't help but laugh as he sung out the words.

 _"Once I was here! Once I was somebody's friend!"_

Allen tripped, tumbling along the tar road to his school. Neah was a few meters behind him, gaining more speed as Allen lost his momentum.

"Once I was real! I will be real once again!"

Allen tried to stop now that he was at the sharp corner, but he ultimately failed since he was late at slowing down earlier. And now that the road was so near, Allen was actually regretting his decision. What kind of an idiot, would actually run while sing at the same time? Well it was him somehow.

Before he could fall to his ultimate doom, with cars zooming along the road at an impossible speed to get to work before 8:00 a.m. Allen was honestly thankful when he was pulled sharply, even if it dislocated his shoulder. Neah stood behind him, breathing heavily while glaring at Allen as he still hold Allen's left arm.

Allen winced, his left arm reaching to rub his shoulder. "My shoulder-Ouch!"

Neah eyes widen, letting go of Allen's arm almost immediately upon Allen's reaction. It hung limply upon Allen's side, unusable. Neah glanced at his wristwatch and sigh in defeat.

"Let's just go to the clinic first." Neah said, reaching for Allen's bag so it wouldn't add any unnecessary pressure to Allen's noe dislocated shoulder.

Allen nodded, taking a harsh intake of breath as the straps went through his right arms. "Gentle. Neah!" Allen scolded.

Neah put both of his hands up in defeat, giving Allen a look. "I am gentle!"

* * *

The doctor looks at the x-ray image on his desk, then at the children in front of him. Then he covered his face with his hands and sigh.

"Again?" He ask meekly, voice muffled by his hands.

Neah let out an anxious laugh as he fidgeted in his seat. "Yeah. . ." He answered awkwardly, voice trailing off to who knows where.

The doctor finally look up, a bored expression playing on his face as it twisted into concern. "At least there's no wound this time." He says, in order to lift the mood.

"Yeah. . ." Neah said slowly, giving Allen a glare. "Don't tell, Mana," He quickly said.

"I already did," The doctor replied almost instantly, Ambrose wondered, why does this two kids. . .kept on being his patient. Honestly, the paediatric was already bored seeing them in front of him, sometimes with a wound that needed stitching, or a broken bone that needed a cast and sometimes this, something dislocated.

Why can't they see him with a fever or a flu just like all the other kids!

And Mana, that brother of them, he felt sorry for him. It must be hard to take care of them. "Okay, come here Allen. I'll pop the bone back into it's place."

Allen hesitated, it was always painful to do this. But, he regained back his senses, it was for the best. So he walk towards the doctor, gulping down the saliva that was accumulating in his mouth.

The doctor grab a hold over his arm and shoulder, and with a swift movement and a loud crunch, the bone moved and Allen couldn't help but scream, it was always painful no matter how much he gotten used to it.

"Here!" Ambrose said gently, giving Allen two white pills that he immediately take and gulped down. Painkillers.

"Can I have the whole bottle?" Allen ask, giving the doctor a pleading look.

Finally, he gave in and pulled his drawers where he took out a dark green bottle that Allen knew, was his favorite brand pf morphine.

"We're exiting through the backdoor." Neah said suddenly.

Ambrose wanted to ask why but then, this was the Campbell's there must be something why they didn't want to exit using the front. "Fine. . ." He sigh, feeling goddamn tired of them.

Neah handed him a card, just like how their family always does, smiling ever so brightly. "Put it on our tab, by the end of the week the money will go into your account!" Neah had said that so innocently, so cheerfully, one wouldn't think that he had killed people before, a murderer.

"Two at a time, Allen," He warned, a reminder not to take more then two pills, but he knew that Allen actually was used to take five. But it was a simple reminder, wanting the best for his patient.

"Yeah, yeah," Allen replied, waving his hands in a sheepish manner.

"Well then, see you soon doctor!" They said in unison and exited his office, leaving the doctor alone with a white card in his hands with the knowledge that he will be paid by the end of the week.

He was their own private doctor, the head of his own clinic.

* * *

 _"You changed in front of me. . .Your eyes gets darker everyday."_

Allen sung out quietly, trying to distract himself from the slight throbbing of his shoulder. Two pills was the amount that the doctor allowed him to and just this once, Allen would abide.

He didn't want to overdose himself.

 _"It happens quietly. . .your focus slowly burns away. . ."_

It was quite tiring actually, walking towards to school. He wanted to skip but Mana was angry at them for skipping a week ago.

 _"And if you let me hear, the things that you seem to want to say. Although I'm late, I will wait until I know that you're somewhere safe!"_

Allen sung a bit louder this time, knowing by mind that the song was starting to go _crescendo._

 _"And if you choose, to lock yourself away. If I listen close, I can almost hear you say. . .Once I was real! Once I was somebody's child! Once I could feel, some feeling once in a while!"_

Whoever write this song must have had an existential crisis, cause goddamn, this song was somehow melancholic.

 _"Once I was here, once I was somebody's friend. Once I appear, I will be real once again."_

Allen stopped singing, now that he had stepped through the school's gate. Neah appeared besides him, a bit out of breath. Their eyes were lock for a couple of heartbeats and then, they glance back at the school. Allen walked first and Neah followed not soon after, he grabbed Allen's hand, leading them towards the school entrance. It was as if he was afraid that Allen would get lost.

They stepped into ttrhe hallway, empty and desolate, it had been twenty-five minutes since the first bell had rang. Unfortunately, most of their first class were different, so by this point they need to part their ways.

Allen smiled gently, trying to release Neah's grip over his hand. "See you at lunch," Allen said.

Neah gripped his hand tighter at that and it took Allen all his willpower not to wench it away. "I don't want to leave you Allen. . ." Neah said sadly.

Allen snorted at that. "Just until lunch, and then, our schedule will be that same,"

"But Allen-"

"Neah. . ." Allen growled in a threatening tone, and almost immediately, his hands was released. "See you at rhe music room!" Allen said cheerfully before leaving Neah yet again

* * *

Fingers hung above the ivory and ebony ttile. The air him in anticipation, waiting and waiting. . .until, he played.

Allen look up from his lunch, his half eaten sandwich now left untouched. Allen recognized that song, such a emphatic tune lefy unfinished.

 _"You fallen into it, an inescapable place. Or something intimate, between the you that no one sees."_

 _"Is there a way inside? You can only hide from enemies. 'Cause I'll wait, I'm afraid you won't get rid of me so easily!"_

Allen grinned, standing up from his seat and walk towards Neah.

 _"And eve if you choose, to lock the world away. If I listen close, I can almost hear you say. . ."_

 _"Once I was real, once I got something to loose. Once I could feel, once I was harder to bruise."_

Allen sung in a crescendo, just like the previous phrase now that it entered it's high point.

 _"Once I was here, once I was willing to bend. Once I appear, I will be real once again."_

Allen stopped, now in a breathless state. He took a deep breath, wanting to continue the song and not wanting to stop at the middle. The timing was amusing, cause the moment he wanted to sing, the bell rings.

* * *

"Go ahead!" He said sneering, walking towards his seething brother who was nearly closer to tears.

He outstretched his arm, grinning madly. "Curse me!"

* * *

 _"You're falling farther than. . .I've ever seen you fall before,"_

 _"For me to wonder when. . .I'll recognize you anymore."_

 _"To see no light inside your eyes at all. To bang my head against the wall."_

 _"To force myself to watch you fall away. . ."_

He played and he sang, they were musicians after all. The only one in the family.

 _"And even if you choose, to lock the world away. If I listen close, I can almost hear you say!"_

 _"Once I was real, once I was somebody's child,"_

 _"Once I could feel, some feeling once in a while,"_

 _"Once I was here, once I was somebody's friend,"_

 _"Once I appear, I will be real once again."_

They gasped, clinging for the air to continue. It was not professional of them to suddenly stop

 _"Once I was real. . .Once I was somebody's child. . ."_

 _"Once I could feel. . .some feeling once in a while. . ."_

 _"Once I was here. . .Once I was somebody's friend. . ."_

 _"Once I appear. . .I will be real, once again. . ."_

They stopped in a sudden diminuendo, breathing heavily and heart beating erratically. It was satisfying, to play your heart out.

"Do you like?" They ask in a still breathless state.

Mama grinned from ear to ear. "Of course I did, And because of that, I'll give you each any presents you want for Christmas."

They both grinned, feeling excited and rather jittery. Neah's finger was still aching for hitting the notes to hard and Allen's throat aas dry for hitting the high notes. But even so, they were still happy.

"Promise?" Neah ask, tilting his head to the side.

Mana instead, seems to grin more wider, even if that's possible and hold out his pinky at them. "I promise." He says. "Now. . .go take a shower. You still have two week to think what you want."

They chuckled mischievously and immediately sprinted tow their room. Mana went to the kitchen, to cook dinner. Pulling out a bag of mushrooms from the fridge.

He left the mushrooms on the counter and reached for the frying pan, it stopped midway when he chuckled in amusement. Golden eyes gleaming cruelly and his mouth was twisted into a slight grin.

"Exorcist, eh?" He ask, apparently to himself. Then, his gaze hardened, a look of pure hatred crossing his gentle features. "How dare they attack my family?"

* * *

 **I honestly don't recall what I wrote beforehand, but according to my notes, I'm on the right track. I think.**

 **I finally decided to eat my pills with a lot of poppersuading and force by my mother, but in the end, I barfed it back. It go stuck in my throat so it didn't count.**

 **Thank you for all you reviews, like and favourites. Please review if you have any criticism or just want to say something for the sake of reviewing.**

 **With our most love,**

 **Mana**


	21. Chapter 18: We are children

"Hey, _Neah?"_ He called, crouching so they were at the same eye level.

"Why not turn me into a _matyr?"_

Neah stared at him, gasping and bleeding, he couldn't believe that he was having this conversation with his friend at this moment.

"Even though _you_ hate it so much?"

* * *

 _"You._ . ." He says, stalking towards them with an ever so sweetly smile and honeycomb eyes.

He tilted his head to the side, a large broadswoard in his hand, grating the floor beneath while the other was on his hips. They tensed up as their surroundings changed into something akin to the world of midnight, darkness starts to envelopes them from all the eyes that could see. The only light that they could identify was the dull hum of their weapons and the eyes of their enemy, like molten gold. . .a rich shade of caramel.

Weapons raised and ready, they now know from the very beginning that they are going to loose.

"You dare attack me?" The other's voice was so sickly sweet, the tone dripped, like honey.

They gulped, unsure of what to do as they faced off the leader of their enemy.

"Mana. . .?" A sudden child's voice called along with the soft creak of wood. They realize it was a door of sorts, and the other end of it was a child.

Or at _least_ they thought it was a child, with the silver hair of his.

The child starred at them, watching the black robed people with a mixture of confusion and surprise. His eyes lid up, examining the intruder wearily before he stepped in, making the door close with a soft click. He hesitantly walk in, stopping only after a few steps.

"Who are these people? Why is your room like this? Why are you even in your room and not in the kitc-"

The exorcist wanted so much to move, to attack, to _escape._ But they can't. Somehow this scene that was unfolding was so mesmerizing, it was hypnotizing them. It was as if someone put a _spell_ on them to be bound.

The other figure walks towards the child slowly, letting go of his broadswoard but much to their surprised, it stayed in it's position. _Unmoving_ from where it was left.

"You're not _Mana._ . ." Allen said, as if to himself. He looks up at his brother figure that was walking towards him, walking back as he shake his head. "You're not Mana!" He spoke again, more strongly this time. Now stopping, he met the other's gaze with curiosity.

"Who _are_ you?" Allen ask, not braking his stare at the other figure. Even when they are only a few inches apart.

Mana(or whoever it was) stepped closer to the child, crouching so they were of the same height. "I'm sorry Allen. . ." He had said with such a sad smile adorned on his face. It did not suit him.

"But. . ." He continued, waving a hand in front of Allen's face, and the child immediately fell limp into his arms. "I can't answer that."

He hug the limp body in reassurance, giving a kiss on the child's forehead. And gently, he stood up, carrying the child in one of his arm while the other was to hold his weapon.

"Now then. . ." He continued, standing up with Allen in his arm, sleeping ever so soundly. "Let's continue,"

* * *

"Ahhh. . Ahhh. . ." Allen find himself breathing.

A figure. . .a child. . .children sat in front of him, crossed legged on a surface of ice and the other at the edge of the frozen lake.

One of the child was somewhat familiar to him: silver eyes like his own and hair the colour of mahogany.

"Who are you?" He ask, driven by curiosity. Wanting to know who they were.

The red haired child tilt his head to the side, his face blank as if he did not expect to be questioned as such. "I'm _Red!"_ He answered simply, in a lilting tone, fading and rising.

And something clicked inside him: Red. The _Cursed_ Child.

"Who are you?" He ask to the other child who was sprawled at the edge of the frozen lake, examining a lock of his hair. The other child reacted to his voice, rolling over so he was lying on his stomach rather then his back.

"Me?" He question, uncertain if he had heard right. No one ask question here, especially if it was intended at him. "I'm _Useless,"_ He answers, voice devoid of any uncertainty.

Useless. The _Burden._

Allen frowned at the name, squinting his eyes to focus more on the child who was rather far away. _"Useless_ is not a name." He says in a matter-of-factly tone.

The blue eyes child tilted his head to the side, seemingly confuse of this new knowledge. "It isn't?" He ask, surprise apparent in his tone.

"No. . ." He shook his head.

"Oh," The child continued, dropping his head in a depress manner. Sad that he ne longer has a name "Then what is?" He ask, voice barely above a whisper.

 _"Blue!_ Why not _Blue!"_ He exclaimed as he didn't want to upset the child. Why? He didn't know, he just don't want to.

 _"Blue._ . .?" The child said to himself, sounding unsure to that. He glance up, meeting with the other's starre. "Blue!" The child exclaimed, his mood immediately went for the best.

"You're Red," He pointed at the silver eyed child who immediately perk from his bored state. "And you're Blue!" He exclaimed, now pointing a finger at the blue eyed child who cheered along with him.

"What about you?" Red ask between the sudden frenzy, quite straightforward actually.

Me? I'm. . .I'm. . .

"I'm _Nothing._ . ." He answered without missing a heartbeat.

"You can't be Nothing," Blue says defiantly, flailing his arm in the air as an act of defiance. "If I can't be Useless then you can't be Nothing!"

"I guess it's fair. . ." Red said slowly, turning back his glance from Blue. "Then you'll be. . ."

 _"Silver!"_ They both cried at the same time, it was as if they were telepathic.

The Silver Child. The Dearest Child.

They had decided. It truly fits _him_ best.

"So _Red, Blue_ and _Silver,_ huh?" He ask rhetorically in an amused tone. "What brings us all here together?" Silver ask, swaying in his seat. Left and right. . .Left and right. .

"I don't know, we were always here," Blue answered, instead of his counterpart at the other end of the spectrum.

"Then _what_ do you do here?" Silver continues his interrogation, stressing the word 'what'.

"Existing," Red answered and Blue him in agreement. Simply existing. "We are broken _parts_ who were forgotten a long time ago, you see. . ." Red trailed off, sending Blue a look for him to continue.

"Basically, we do nothing more then exist," Blue says casually, as if it were nothing more then doing your homework.

"That's all?" Silver still continue to ask, an eyebrow raised, though it was hardly noticable as his hair curtained his face.

"What?" Red ask, quite loudly in fact.

"Is that the only thing that you wanted to say?" Silver continued, still swaying nonchalantly.

"Like what?" Blue ask, eyebrows scrunched in uncertainty.

"Well, I been questioning you for a long time. . ." He trailed off.

"Then. . .What are you doing here?" It was Red that ask first, a surprise actually since he didn't expect for him to break the ice at first.

Silver blinked in surprise, finally still in his seat. _"Huh?_ I don't know. . ." He muttered, but still loud enough for them to hear.

 _"Hmmmm._ . ." Silver close his eyes, humming. He opened them slowly, eyes a hazy white when it hits a certain angle. "Why is it frozen?" He ask, not wanting to end the conversation any sooner.

"The lake?" Red question again, so that he wouldn't be wrong of what he heard.

"Yes," He answered without hesitation.

"It's a _boundary,_ separating _us_ from the _rest,"_ Red frowned, shifting a bit in his seat. After all, it was he the one who was sitting on the frozen lake, might as well answer the question regarding it.

"Who?" Silver ask, curiosity piqued.

 _"They_ are sleeping, but once they woken up we are told to console them, I guess," Red answered but at the same time, seem to be tiptoeing around the matter.

Silver was more interested at who had given the order. _"Who_ told you?" He ask, leaning forward for the answer.

"I don't know, we just know," Red answered, now scowling a little

"But. . .we are told to strengthen the boundary. . .to make sure it stays. . ." Blue says suddenly, not wanting to be left out from the conversation. "It once almost broke once and the other side was almost breached. . ."

"Hmmmm. . .okay, I guess. . ." Silver reply, no longer interest. It was quite obvious actually, that they won't answer his actual question soon.

"What about you?" Blue ask, trying to start another conversation. He was bored actually, simply sitting here, while his other companion was an introvert jerk.

"I guess. . .nothing. . .I was just here. . .hmmm. . .was I always here?" Silver says in a dulcet tone, uncaring and uninterested. Just for the sake of mannerisms.

"No, you just arrived. . ." Blue trailed off, seeing as the other was now lying on the floor. He sigh, rolling so he was now lying on the side. He stared, disinterest as Red starts drawing incoherent markings on the surface of the ice.

 _Silence._ It was pure bliss.

He closed his eyes, breathing deeply as he tried to lull himself into slumber.

Suddenly, there was another _presence,_ a sign of some sort. He opened his eyes, -eyes of midnight hues- nearly catching his breath at what he was seeing.

There was a _door_ not far for them, standing there with all it's pristine glory. Though it was quite disappointed that it wasn't him.

Even though it was the first time they seen it, but somehow, within their deep _conscious,_ they know what's going on. It was hard to explain, but it was as if they were hardwired already. Automatic.

"I guess I have to go," Silver grunted as he pushed himself into a standing. He swayed slightly, as if from all the time imitating the movement of wheat, he had finally become one. "Bye guys!" He says, trying to sound excited but how flat his tone was, it didn't fool anyone.

"Bye-Bye!" Blue says as he waved his hands, still flopped at the edge of the lake.

"See you soon silver!" Red too said his goodbye, but still, his eyes were on the picture that he had drew on the ice.

He sigh, flopping himself on the ice, not even flinching at it's coolness.

"Looks like it's just the _two_ of us again. . ."

* * *

Allen woke up with a throbbing headache, but at least this time, he was actually awake.

* * *

 **You know, by this point of a story, most authors would have revealed something major. But sorry, I'm the type that likes to add more mystery but won't explain them later on so you'll have to think it yourselves. And that's were reviewing comes into play.**

 **The hell! Why does the US lets their children drive at the age of 16 while my country has to wait till I'm 20? It's now fair! Huh! I give up.**

 **So. . .sorry if I made any mistakes at writing this. I know that I'm not he best writer and all but I'm trying. Please review if you have any criticism, compliments or just want to strike up a conversation. I'll appreciate it if you do that.**

 **With love,**

 **Mana**


	22. Chapter 19: Mask and glass

_Who are we?_

 _Who were they?_

 _Who was the child?_

 _That was forced to betray?_

* * *

"Mana. . .?" Allen called weakly, finding himself in an unbearable amount of headache. He could literally feel all his nerve throbbing in his head!

Because of the pain, he could not find himself the willpower to open his eyes. Afraid of the added sense would contribute to the migraine. He recalled the black figure, each with a weapon in their hand. . .is that a hoe? and they were all facing someone, circling him. The point is, the last thing he remember was some men in blacks attacking Mana. But didn't.

And then, Allen remembered that in the time of confusion as where did Mana's furniture go and why is he in his room. And why is it so dark and so big here! Mana ran towards him with some kind of smile that doesn't suit the current situation at all. After that, Mana refused to answer his question and muttered something under his breath. Something that Allen felt as if he recognize but he didn't and Mana swipe his hands in front of him like some kind of sign language expert and he. . .That's all. . .

That fucking son of a- What the actual fudge, did he do to him? This is actually going way to far.

I'm _gonna-_

(Remembering that this is a K-T rated story, the writer decide's to stop here for the sake of the children.)

"Mana?" He called again, sounding more threatening rather then confuse. His eyes were still close, in fact, the mere thought of opening it makes his mind barf so he understand that he should obligate his brain.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" He, who was pissed off ask. There was a hesitant chuckle from somewhere in the room he was occupying and also footsteps cooming closer.

"Yes, Allen?" Mana or whoever it was ask nervously, Allen doesn't care which cause he was to blinded by rage to care.

Blindly, Allen's hand reached out -which wasn't that hard cause he was already partial blind- and grabbed the scruff of Mana's shirt quite easily. He yanked the body closer to him with a surprising amount of strength for someone who's brain is killing itself. "Listen here you fucking piece of shit!"

(Oh, who am I kidding? Nobody would even care)

"I did not wake up at the asscrack of dawn to deal with this shit-" Allen hissed, he was not a morning person.

"My fucking brain is rotting thanks to whatever the hell you did earlier and guess what? I'm mad!" Allen continued. "I didn't even had breakfast yet! I cannot deal with so much shit in the fucking morning where I am sleep deprived and hungry as fuck!"

"So whatever you are hiding from me or all those fucking things that I cannot know should fuck off!" Allen yelled in blind rage, gripping the helm of the shirt so tightly, his knuckle actually cracked. "This already became so fucking stupid already! I'll blame you for all the mental damage it will cause to me!"

Allen was angry and it was understandable. He was sleep deprived, he was angry and he did not expect to be -whatever it was- unconscious and woke up with a headache that can cause someone to kill themselves.

"You and your fucking mysteries can go fuck themselves!"

Allen blamed the hormones.

Yes, this was all hormones fault.

* * *

So on and so on, Allen fell asleep the moment his aspiring speech ended, maybe he should run for president cause people will feel so motivated upon hearing those lovely words exits his mouth. Who wants to vote for him?

Well not Mana, cause the kid could cause the next world war with his wondrous vocabulary. He prefer the Hitler style rather then the tyrant rule, which is ironic since Hitler also participates in the last World War.

And Allen does have a wonderful imagination. . .Mana blamed the media, there's too much apocalyptic-children's show on that shit.

Like My Little Pony and Steven Universe, I mean, what is wrong with you people?

Mana honestly doesn't know what he did actually, he does have a mental clue at what happen but it was somehow out of reach, like that one answer on the exam when you know it, but at the same time don't, and so you'll stare a good five minutes at the paper before you'll finally decided that you'd waste enough time as it was and decided to stop procrastinate and answer the next question. It will probably end like this good classic, where you decided to take a peek at the textbook after that exam was over only to find the answer was so goddamn simple and you, yourself are so fucking stupid and you wanted to destroy the entire country.

 **#Relatable**

Mana, himself, had went through that situation once but fortunately, he was saved thanks to the meme that he saw on Tumblr once and how much he loves that site thanks to that.

But unfortunately, Tumblr has no answer for this one and so, he stared at his white wall, currently in his room that he has no recognition of going into the first place -although barely- with Allen sleeping in his bed. He grumbled under his breath, fidgeting on his seat as he bore into the wall, questioning the way of the universe and all the secret it holds.

Probably the main one on his list in order:

1\. How to raise a kid properly

2\. How to handle a kid properly

3\. How to stop procrastinate

4\. Is brinjal a fruit (Cause that question still haunts him until today)

That's all, oh, Wait-

5\. Dealing with kids who is starting to have the effect of puberty

Maybe he should had bought _that_ parenting book.

Mana sigh and burrow his face into his palm, there was a slight creaking of the door and he glanced up and find Neah at the doorway. This was the first time he had ever seen Neah so confuse in his life.

"Mana?" Neah ask a look of pure confusion on his face.

"Don't ask," He replied immediately, cause he too, don't know the answer.

Neah cracked a smile, a humour replacing his confusion. "And you tell me to keep it in my pants-"

 _"Neah!"_ He almost shouted in exasperation, but not too loud since he didn't want to wake Allen and if Allen did wake up in his mood. Then Mana wouldn't know how to deal with his two younger brother.

He loves them, deeply, but he also love himself.

 _"Can't keep my hand to myself._ . ." Neah sung out in a tone that no male can, it was so high actually, that his ears actually cringe at hearing that. And Mana sigh again.

Maybe he SHOULD have bought _that_ parenting book.

* * *

Allen on the other hand, was back in his dream world, but not the land of nightmare but the land of confusion cause he was stranded, in the middle of a fucking dessert. Where instead sand, there was broken shards of glass as if someone had blowtorched the Earth fucking surface. A moon shone above him, grinning in all it's white glory as it hung in the sky like a taspery. To be honest, it looks like as if someone had cut out a crescent moon and paste it in a black mountain board before they finally thought: _'it's good enough'._

It was a good thing this was a dream or not, Allen would have gone batshit crazy by now. Cause feet are supposed to bleed if they came in contact with any sharp object, the moon isn't supposed to be that large and why was he stranded in the middle of a dessert.

"Oh, fuck," Allen muttered, observing the surrounding with wary eyes. -Even though he could only see through one-

"Where am I?" He wondered out loud, it was a surprise that he didn't curse this time cause this was definitely a shitty situation.

Those words echoed through the dessert and the glass seem to shiver along with it, as if the vibration was able to set it off. Allen slightly shivered, noticing how damn cold right now was, mentally cursing himself not to wear a sweater. Seeing as how there was no answer after the 9th repetition of his voice, he decided to leave from this spot. To search for anything.

Not all who wander are lost

Well, in his case he can't get lost here. After all, this was his own mindscape.

He was literally walking in his own brain.

At least the knowledge seemed to console him at the -estimated- twentieth minute of his departure. Cause, right now, isolated from any living creature even if it was his own imagination- starts getting onto him. Being alone was no problem of his, but BEING alone with no other living things, it was a completely different story.

He flinched everytime a slight breeze ran though him, causing the shard to chime. From time to time he would feel eyes on him, a friendly idea that he wasn't actually alone. He swore he heard the moon chuckle each time he finched at something. Though by the ruffle of his hair it wasn't simply the wind.

 _This_ was stupid.

He was stupid of _dreaming_ this kind of stuff.

"Oh, _schist!"_ He hissed, and be warned, there was no presence of a _rock_ No matter how much latin and greek tells you otherwise.

In fact, there was a _mirror,_ a very large mirror, it might as well be a boulder in this kind of place. It was simply the glass, standing all alone in. . .this wasteland while all it's companion had shattered into tiny little pieces.

Though slightly cracked, it still showed his image as Allen stepped in front of it, only slightly distorted with half his face breaking. Allen frowned, inspecting it at a closer look, the image did the same but only half of it. While the other half of his face was still smiling with some part of it chipping on. . .A _mask._

Upon realisation it was a mask, a _broken_ one that is starting to arrange itself.

"What?" He gasped.

"Hello there!" A booming voice suddenly called and the shards around him hummed excitedly. Allen turned behind, only to find a face very close to his own but upon closer inspection, it was a mask.

"Who are you?" Allen question as he tried to move away from this stranger, only to find himself being held in place by a pair of hand.

"No. . ." The masked stranger chuckled along with the cries of the wind. Silver hair glinting as it caught in the moonlight. "The question is, _who_ are you?"

The grip on his arm tightened, not planning to be release any time soon.

They continued to stare at each other for a while, with Allen faltering every minute. Even so, he planned not to loose, he was the one who ask first and so he should have gotten it.

The stranger eyes bored into his, cold and calculating, Allen to was the same. They blinked for a couple of time, widening in sudden realisation. "Oh, the Fifth!" He exclaimed, releasing Allen back to the ground gently.

The Fifth?

Allen doesn't understand and yet he does. Everything was nonsense here.

"Who are you?" He ask again

The stranger seemed to ignore him and instead grabbed Allen hand and begin dragging him to who knows where. But Allen obligate, seeing as how the masked stranger seem to know where they were headed while he, on the other hand, did not.

"I didn't know you were awake yet," The stranger continued, leading Allen by his hand. He glanced at Allen sideways, mouth frowning and hands tugging. "In fact, I didn't even get any signs that you were going to be awake,"

He sigh, looking back ahead. "I guess when it's just me, things get lonely," He said softly and Allen wonder if this was just a dream.

He began laughing, such a soft laugh for someone like him. The voice was carried by the howl of the wind and moments later, you could hear it from all direction. But the echo was nowhere near sane.

Allen tugged the hand tighter, afraid of what lies out there.

"I'm stupid, aren't I?" He had heard the stranger mutter under his breath. They fasten their pace, the cries of insanity not so far behind them, followed by the shatter of a mirror. "You aren't the Fifth,"

They almost ran by this point, and he felt fear rising up his throat. He wants to go.

"But. . .We settle this later, at a safer place. . ." The stranger continued, wrapping a hand around Allen's waist and hold him close.

He began to sprint now while carrying a child in his arm, the cries starts drawing closer, Allen was sure, it was right behind them. And whatever it was, Allen wants nothing of it. He borrowed his face onto the older male's shirt, wanting no part in this anymore.

The masked stranger' s breath was short and Allen felt grateful that he didn't simply left Allen to them, even when he found out that he wasn't the Fifth, or whoever it was.

"My, my," The voice called out mockingly in a dulcet tone.

"It's the child!" The lilting voice continued, giggling.

Allen wanted to cry, to be in Mana's arm or in Neah's hold, he wanted to be with his family. He wanted to wake up.

"Almost there. . ." The stranger mumbled under his breath, still running even though he was out of breath. It was for reassurance, Allen realized, maybe for the both of them.

Allen glance up, almost shrieking when he saw the curtains of darkness racing after them. They were fast, Allen realize, so fast actually, that his vision blurred. Even so, the darkness didn't stop the chase, gaining a bit of speed even.

If Allen concentrated enough, he could see the faint outlines of figure from the shadow. Humanoid. He could make out dozens of eyes in them, silver.

He didn't want to see it anymore so he glanced back, where there was still miles upon miles of broken glass and the grinning moon, shining ever so whitely.

"I'm sorry. . ." Allen muttered, gripping the helm of the stranger's shirt.

"It's okay. . ." The stranger manage to reply, hugging Allen tighter. "We're going to be safe. . ."

"Safe. . .?" The voice ask sweetly and suddenly the darkness was everywhere, surrounding them like a dome.

The stranger stopped, breathing heavily as he catches his breath. Cold silver eyes calculating every movement, any flaw, any escape. And so did Allen.

"When there's light there is a shadow," The voice continued, and even though Allen couldn't bare, he still watched.

"One day the light will die out and all that's left is the darkness," It sung happily, eagerly, eyeing them down like a prey. The arms around him tightened at that, he felt himself feeling safe behind it. Just barely though.

The next was spoken softly, Allen could even make out the emotion that it was conveying. Something that he'd never thought it could feel, especially when they were so keen on destroying them.

"Right, Allen?" The voice spoke so softly, it was as if a mother was speaking to it's child.

Allen's breath hitched, gripping into the stranger's shirt as if it was a lifeline, it might as well be that. His eyes were wide as he simply sat there motionless, horror overtaking his senses. The darkness took up a form, one that he knows too well.

At this moment, he learned personally, that fear itself was tangible.

* * *

Congrats! You two were right that silver and blue were kind of like guardians who have to protect the other side of fhe lake.

So. . .I updated. . .hope you review like always. Please forgive me for any mistakes cause language is not my forte.

Yours truly,

Mana


	23. Teasers (Is that how you spell it?)

Allen's breath hitched, tears threatening to fall from his eyes. He gripped the stranger more tightly, not even planning to even let him go.

Everything was wrong, _so_ wrong.

It almost seemed right.

The darkness took out a form, a form that Allen knew so well: It took the form of _himself._

The hair, for one thing was black, so black actually, he could easily mistook it for the sky. And those eyes, oh, those goddamn eyes, how could he not recognize it? It glowed sharply, the molten silver was, and somehow, it seemed to burn as if the silver itself was on fire. There was also the red marred on his face, blemishing his porcelain skin.

It was him. _Allen._

A _different version_ of himself.

His eyes widen, heart racing from whatever he was feeling right now. Allen could not pinpoint his own emotion, cause he was feeling so much currently. But most of all, he felt _confusion._

The _darkness_ smiled gently, walking closer to them. The smile on his face looks so _fake,_ artificial, and yet, Allen could find some _truth_ in them. It brought a pang to his heart actually, seeing a pained look on the other's face.

The stranger that was holding him stepped back, seeing as how their enemy is closing the distance between them. There were whispers around them, cries of the wind that does not exist. They were in the eye of the storm, at the middle of a hurricane of darkness.

 _"We're almost there,"_ The masked stranger muttered, wrapping an arm around Allen's head in a protective manner. Watching the scene unfolding through wary eyes.

There was a clink, and it took Allen all his willpower not to scream and shout when a part of his face chipped off and fell on the fabric of his shirt. He instictly reached for his face, noticing it's sudden hardness and uneveness.

"I'm wearing a _mask?"_ He wondered softly, to preoccupied by something else to actually want the answer.

But if so, does that mean. . .the _reflection_ of him from earlier. . .was _real?_

The part that was broken off began to shake, the sharp tip starts to disintegrate into black dust. And from it's solid form, it melts into an airy liquid and join with the darkness.

A piercing scream almost erupted his eardrums, Allen glanced back, knowing full well who's voice it belonged to, and how painful the tone was. "No. . ." He silently cried out, noticing the sharp spiked the envelopes itself on the masked stranger's back.

 _"Almost there._ . ." He gritted his teeth and now, did Allen realized that he was still walking back and had hit the wall of the time of shadow.

"Almost there!" He hissed again, pushing himself into the wall. And somehow, the inky darkness seemed to budge against him.

His mirror image laugh at them, the sound of fading footsteps coming closer. And finally, everything become so quite now, it was as if he became deaf.

The stranger struggled again against the impending fortress, pushing and jumping, and thankfully, he'd manage to dive into it. Closer to the outside.

Then there was a soft voice impaling the silence, such a broken voice of a child. "Are you going to leave me again, _Allen?"_

There was a hiss and a sigh of relief, before the stranger finally cried in desperation.

 _"Crowned Clown!"_

* * *

This is just a tiny teaser for the following chapter

To Cutiepie120048 (or some weird code):

I decided toheed your request but unfortunately, it's not for each chapter but rather for each ark. If you really want to know wether your theory is right or wrong you can just PM me or review it like jy24 and Lena-Luvs-Cat. I'll tell if you're right or near it at the next chapter.

Thank you for reading this far.

Yours truly,

Mana

p.s. I passed my Grade 5 piano exam. (ABRSM)


	24. Chapter 20: Crowned Clown

Allen's breath hitched, tears threatening to fall from his eyes. He gripped the stranger more tightly, not even planning to even let him go.

Everything was wrong, so wrong.

It almost seemed right.

The darkness took out a form, a form that Allen knew so well: It took the form of himself.

The hair, for one thing was black, so black actually, he could easily mistook it for the sky. And those eyes, oh, those goddamn eyes, how could he not recognize it? It glowed sharply, the molten silver was, and somehow, it seemed to burn as if the silver itself was on fire. There was also the red marred on his face, blemishing his porcelain skin.

It was him. Allen.

A different version of himself.

His eyes widen, heart racing from whatever he was feeling right now. Allen could not pinpoint his own emotion, cause he was feeling so much currently. But most of all, he felt confusion.

The darkness smiled gently, walking closer to them. The smile on his face looks so fake, artificial, and yet, Allen could find some truth in them. It brought a pang to his heart actually, seeing a pained look on the other's face.

The stranger that was holding him stepped back, seeing as how their enemy is closing the distance between them. There were whispers around them, cries of the wind that does not exist. They were in the eye of the storm, at the middle of a hurricane of darkness.

"We're almost there," The masked stranger muttered, wrapping an arm around Allen's head in a protective manner. Watching the scene unfolding through wary eyes.

There was a clink, and it took Allen all his willpower not to scream and shout when a part of his face chipped off and fell on the fabric of his shirt. He instictly reached for his face, noticing it's sudden hardness and uneveness.

"I'm wearing a mask?" He wondered softly, to preoccupied by something else to actually want the answer.

But if so, does that mean. . .the reflection of him from earlier. . .was real?

The part that was broken off began to shake, the sharp tip starts to disintegrate into black dust. And from it's solid form, it melts into an airy liquid and join with the darkness.

A piercing scream almost erupted his eardrums, Allen glanced back, knowing full well who's voice it belonged to, and how painful the tone was. "No. . ." He silently cried out, noticing the sharp spiked the envelopes itself on the masked stranger's back.

"Almost there. . ." He gritted his teeth and now, did Allen realized that he was still walking back and had hit the wall of the time of shadow.

"Almost there!" He hissed again, pushing himself into the wall. And somehow, the inky darkness seemed to budge against him.

His mirror image laugh at them, the sound of fading footsteps coming closer. And finally, everything become so quite now, it was as if he became deaf.

Then there was a soft voice impaling the silence, such a broken voice of a child. "Are you going to leave me again, Allen?"

There was a hiss and a sigh of relief, before the stranger finally cried in desperation.

"Crowned Clown!"

. . .

A blinding white light slashes along with the sound of crashing. . .clashing. And then, there was laughter. . .so much cries of laughter. None of them near sane.

And then, there was nothing, utterly nothing. Silence.

The stranger gasped, wobbling in his feat before he collapsed on the shards of broken glass. Allen manage to react in time so he did not fall along with him. His back was bleeding, oozing blood from the gaping hole.

In a blink of an eye, there was somebody else besides them. A white stranger that seemed to shine. He too, was wearing a mask like them, but it only seem to cover the upper part of his face. Revealing the grimm lines of his mouth.

He seems to panick for a second, until the other moan in pain again and raised one of his arms up. The stranger abide, bending down and throwing the arm around his neck before hoisting him up with a hiss. "Gentle. . ." He says.

They simply stood there for a moment, Allen squirmed on the ground. Noticing the domino masked stranger eyeing him. A smirk brought onto his face before he swooped down and scooted Allen into his arm.

"Don't manhandle me!" The stranger screeched again, feeling as if his arm was about to be yanked off by the sudden act.

Allen simply giggled as now he was in the other's arm, his right side pressing against the smooth silk of the stranger's clothing. He began to walk slowly, carrying a child and a young adult on his tow. And even yet, in his burdened state, Allen heared the stranger hum excited whilst smiling almost fondly.

"Does it hurt?" Allen ask to the young adult.

"Of course it does," The stranger replied in a deadpan manner, groaning as he hoisted himself to stand in a more preferable manner.

There was a glint that caught the young child's eye, his little arm reaching for it instinctsly. It was a headwear that the other man was wearing, a pointed crown. Allen recalled what he had been called, 'Crowned Clown'?

He grinned, wearing the little crown on his head as he smiled triumphantly.

Well, he was no longer crowned.

There was a slight shake, Allen found himself being laugh at by the two strangers. Heat rise up to his cheek as his heartbeat intensify, embarrassed. He wanted to cover his face with his hands, but it will only increase the shame.

"Oh!" The stranger manage to say between his laugh. Allen thinks that his back was doing a poor job at keeping him shut up. "That suits you well actually!"

He burst out laughing again.

Allen grabbed the crown from the tiffs of his hair, threatening to throw is at him. The sharp points just inches from his face. He immediately quiet down.

And then, there was a sigh of disappointment. Allen turned his head towards the stranger that was carrying the both of them. "You guys started it first!" He cried out, watching as his neutral expression twist into a grin.

It was almost unnerving actually, as the stranger doesn't seem to have a face. No eyes, just a nose and a mouth. Like a mannequin.

Allen felt as if he knows _him._

As if he knows _them._

* * *

Part 1

* * *

Sorry, I can't update the whole chapter. Still planning on how to end this ark.

How do you like it? I trolled you, that person was not Crowned Clown. Ah, satisfaction.

Anyway, If you have a linking at what's going on you can review or PM me to see if it's right.

And shit! I actually got your username right! Well, I missed an s' on Lena-luvs-cats and you're the same age as me?

Wooooh.

I'll maybe update next Thursday, need to go to the hospital for therapy and shit.

Bye,

Mana


	25. Chapter 205: Crowned Clown, which one?

_"Ahhh._ . ." He breathed out a sigh of relief, burrowing into Crowned Clown soft cloak. And im return, the other wrapped his arm thighter against the lean figure, so that he won't fall. He closed his eyes in the comfortable presence, resting.

He felt safe. Protected.

No harm shall befall him.

"We're here. . ." A voice called, pulling him back to his surrounding.

Allen open his eyes, nearly blinded by the sudden brightness. A field of gold and a corpse of a tree. Those were what caught his eyes the moment he opened it.

The silver moon was above them, and when before was a desolate place, this was surrounded by a forrest, a graveyard of trees. Dead and dry branches, reaching out for the sky like hands in a silent prayer. This was a cross between the dead and the living, a mixture of _silver_ and _gold._

He felt himself _home._

A _remnant_ of a dream.

"Agh!" The stranger groan, limping his way towards the dead tree that stood at the middle of the opening.

Allen jumped from the arm which immediately tried to catch him back in fear he would get hurt from falling into the forrest ground. He ran towards the stranger, almost tripping on roots and overall uneven ground. Another factor to contribute to his inability to balance at the current moment, was the fact that he was barefoot.

But he manage not to fall.

"Woah!"

 _Managed._

"Auff!" The stranger gasped by impact of the collision course between Allen and his lap.

Allen giggled in reply, changing his position so instead he was sitting on the other lap. Crown Clown was not far from them, watching and observing for any possible danger that could befall them. A faint smile twisting his lips upwards.

The stranger grinned, slumping against the trunk of the tree with an contempt sigh. It rattles slightly, of energy being transferred from one cell to another.

"What is this place?" He ask in his awed state.

"This is a sanctuary for _us,"_ The stranger said, combing through the child's silver lock.

"For you?" He ask again, slightly triggered by the reply. The other presence was comforting, as if it was a part of _himself_ that was long _forgotten._

Unlike the previous _one._

He nodded in his answer, he couldn't see his mouth but he was sure, the other was smiling by now.

An almost melancholic tone and a creeping loneliness, yearning."Yes, for us, there are others but they are sleeping. I am the only one who is awake,"

And in his dreamlike-conscious, he found himself understanding it -even though most doesn't even makes any sense- bobbing his head at the answer. "And who are you?" He ask again, couldn't help but let curiosity eat him alive.

For a second, the other halted. Hesitating to answer. But then, he returned, "The Twelve," He answers.

"Are there many of you?" He continued to ask, thousands of question bubbling underneath his skin.

The grin turned into a smirk, smug and arrogant but at the same time it was warm, like the autumn winds. _"Many!"_ He claimed, "There are many of us!"

He find himself humming in reply, childlike curiousity. "And, what exactly are you?"

He knows that this was a dream, a figment of his own imagination. An image that his own twisted mind manage to create. But yet, at the same time, this was real, they were real, with real personality, emotions, feelings and need.

This was _real_ in a sense.

A world that stood between _fantasy_ and _reality._

The stranger was eerily quiet, humming a simple melody. Taking his sweet time to answer. "I am a part of ourself," He answers, he simply did. Nothing more and nothing less.

A part in an organism. He understand.

A shard of the mirror.

The hand stop from grooming the other's hair, pulling the head closer to his face. "Now. . ." the other says in a dulcet toned of voice. "The question is, who are you?"

He was quiet, seemingly lost in the engravings of the other's mask. It was beautiful, with silver and gold intertwining.

"I don't know," He find himself answering, a whisper from the heart.

The stranger was unfazed by the answer, he didn't even bother to question any further. But instead, slumped against the old tree.

 _"Cornelia,"_ a part of him whispered.

The Twelfth sigh, his hand continuing back to it's task at combing the child's silver hair. "If you don't know, I will help you find it," He promises. "Someone is always someone, a person will always be a person,"

But I am _nothing._ . .

"Well then. . ." The child find himself contemplating, driven by childlike curiosity. Acting like his own age for once. "Who are you?" He ask.

Not some kind of _label,_ but a person.

The one that had existed before this.

The older male smiles, he didn't see his smile, but he knew the other did. There was a sense of kinship between them. "Like I said, I am a part of ourselves. . ."

A _broken_ part of the mirror.

He didn't stop yet, not until all his thirst was quench and the older male knows that, drowning his own question until the child was finished.

"Why do you wear a mask?"

"Why _do_ you wear a mask?"

Fair answer.

"What's underneath it?"

"A face," is what he simply answered. But not enough, his hand reached out for the mask, pulling it out easily.

He froze, almost dropping the mask. Silver eyes that he never notice, a red scar marking his porcelain featured and that overall similarity to his own. He stared at the stranger, his childish mind wondering, 'so this is how I will look once I get older,'

He let the older him reach for his face, unstrapping the mask and pulling it away. He didn't know why he let him, but it was probably the fact that they are technically the same person and he had nothing to loose here. His identity won't mean anything here.

The reaction on the older's face was quite similar to his, starring doumbfounded. Probably realizing just his silver his eyes was and how familiar the scar was and mayber just thinking, 'so this is how I look like when I was younger,'

"So. . ." The older version of himself trailed off, probably trying to find the right words to describe this. _"Allen?"_

He nodded, not even bothered by the fact this meeting was never suppose to happen. Or even possible of happening.

"I thought we were locked away. . ." He continued to mumble, directing the younger attention towards himself.

"Locked?" He find himself asking, tilting his head to the side.

 _"Adam_ said so. . ." he continued to mumble under his breath, not even noticing when the child was calling him.

"Not wanting to repeat the _Eighteenth_ incident,"

"Can you please explain it to me!"

"Dormant, the _current_ isn't suppose to be here. . ."

It seems that even himself doesn't even want to answer his question. He was angry, at the way the truth was always out of reach, of his inability to reach it and how it always fly away from him. Most of all, he was frustrated at how there are always some force straying him from the truth.

"Listen here," He find himself hissing, gripping the other's collar. "You promised me to find my true self and I be damned if-"

He stop, gasping for air as he was somehow desolated from it. Tumbling backwards, his back his the soft grass, loosing more air the more he tried to breath. Crown Clown was at the edge of his vision, hovering, face contorting into a look of worried. But he simply stayed there unmoving.

The Twelfth crouched besides him, combing through his silver lock in a loving manner. "I'm sorry. . ." he whispers, like a gentle wind. "I promised him not to let _it_ happen again," he says, voice breaking near the end of the sentence.

"This is. . .also for _our_ own good. . .so please don't think bad of me,"

A hand reached out in the lines of his vision, a hand that he recognized as one of his too. With that red, cursed arm of his. It covered his eyes, an inky darkness overwhelming his vision.

"Please say hello to Mana and Neah for me," he asked, thr last thing that he heard before he disappeared.

When Allen opened his eyes back to reality he find himself being stared at by his two brothers, he blinked, washing the sleep from his eyes.

"Hi, Mana. Hi, Neah,"

.

Part 2

.

The End

* * *

 **I gave you guys tons of hints already, so I think you can sort things out. I was supposed to go to the hospital but then the doctor said tomorrow and so, I quickly finished this so I can rest before the appointment.**

 **Thank you for all your reviews and seeing as how I did not add that special page it seems that it's not the end of the ark yet but I'll explain. The one with the lake is the dreamworld were Blue and Red are told to protect the memories, and try guessing _what_ are those memories. It seems so easy actually. And the other guy with the black hair, I'll reveal him at the end of the story. He's an important character for the future plot.**

And I did, kind off explained Allen's arm. I guess it was during Maria and also the icecream chapter. You have to read it carefully since it's tiny detail.

Bye, I need sleep,

With love,

Mana


	26. AN 2

Sorry to tell you guys this, but I'm going in a short hiatus. My little sister just passed away and I'm emotionally distraught. She was fighting brain cancer.


	27. Chapter 21: 64 percent

"Allen. . .please. . .before I turn into something I don't want. . ." Pleading, the other's voice was bleeding.

". . .Please destroy me!" Those words were thrown at him like arrows, lodging itself into his chest.

He stopped breathing, the wind leaving his lungs and he hesitated, stopped from doing everything or anything, just trying to stop existing.

He doesn't want to be here, at this current situation.

After all, he couldn't bare it, the other was precious, far too precious. . .

"I. . .I. . ." He said hesitantly, drawling the words out with uncertainty. "Can't. . .I love you so much. . .so. . ."

"I'm sorry. . ."

After all, humans are such selfish creatures aren't they?

.

Hey, Mana, if I were to do what you told me to do. . .Will this ever happen?

Maybe I can't get the answer from you. . .cause you had lost yourself. . .

"Ha. . .ha. . ."

But I promise, this time I will get it right.

No matter how much time has passed or how much lives we lived.

". . _.Mana?"_

I'm sorry.

* * *

After sleeping for such a long time, Allen had thought that he wouldn't get another wink. But alas, the moment he layed on his bed, waking was nothing but a futile attempt. Maybe it was because he hadn't slept a week for the past few days. But honestly, he thought he could handle another night.

"Hey, Neah?" Allen called from beneath the blanket.

There was a click from where Neah had opened the night lights as he had already closed the lights, the bed shifted from where Neah scooted closer to Allen. He too, buried himself under the blankets like Allen, wrapping himself with it. There was a peak of golden eyes and a mop of midnight hair sprouting for it. The rest, hidden away.

Allen imitate Neah, keeping his voice down and low so that Mana could not hear them. Which is honestly impossible since Mana's room was at the other side of the hallway. But for some reason, Neah and Mana had always had good hearing, inhumane even. Even a pin's drop in a raging crowd could be heard by them. It was unfair, they all get the good genes.

"I don't want to sleep," he says, but even so, he could already see the darkness at the corner of his vision, threatening to overcome him.

"You have to Allen," Neah whisper rather loudly besides him. Allen was afraid, Mana might hearf them. "You'd been skipping sleep so much."

The bed shifted again, the old spring crying softly. His hands was grasped and Neah was closer to him now, much closer now, the tips of their nose almost touching. Allen could see Neah, all the golden flecks in his iris, the tangle of his hair and the pale colour of his cheek. Neah too could see Allen, he was sure of it, the slight dim of his left eye compared to his right, the ugly marring of his scar as it tore over tissues and skin and also the unhealthy colour of his face, so pale, it was almost white.

If compared, Allen was a ghost and Neah was alive.

Allen was a ghost. . .

Yes. . .he. . _.died_ once. . .

"Allen! Allen!" Neah called, urgent and pleading but the reply was simply, a blank stare.

He truly is dead, isn't he?

A ghost.

"Neah. . ." He said slowly, a bitter smile on his face, though the presence of tears was just at edge of his eyes. "I don't even exits, don't I?"

Neah sushed him, pulling him into a thight embrace. He hugged Neah back, burrowing into his colar. Neah ran a finger through his hair, soft and affectionate, like a mother's embrace. "You do, Allen," He says between heartbeats. "You do. . ."

"Ha. . .ha. . ." Allen gasped, tiredness evident in the tone of his voice. Neah was combing his hair with his finger, singing a soft lullaby.

"And so the child went to sleep,"

A sigh of relief left his mouth as the darkness engulfed him, swallowing him whole. There it was, that familiar presence, greeting him like an old friend.

* * *

I _exist_

 _in_ _a_ _thousand of tragedies_

I exist

* * *

"Allen, please, don't do this. . ." The other pleaded, reaching out a hand. He felt guilty, making the other beg like this. The other was precious, far too precious. . .

"There's another way to end this!"

At the edge of the ruin, he turned his heels as to so he can meet the other's pained expression. He smiled, stretching his arm as if he was going to bow any moment, there he was beckoning the world. Their eyes met and he wanted nothing more then wipe away his pained expression. And yet, he still smiles, he wanted the last memory of him to be smiling.

"There's no turning back, Neah!" He exclaimed, dropping his arm to his side.

Neah stepped closer to him, wanting to reach before he was too late. "I'll help you, Allen. You, me and Cross, the three of us, we can fix it,"

"I am fixing it!" He retorted back, after all, what's the point of doing this all if it weren't for that.

The ledge behind began to crumble, falling down into the chasm below. And yet, he simply stayed there, just waiting for it to come.

"Killing yourself doesn't mean saving, Allen!" Neah cried out in desperation.

Allen smiled. That all too familiar strained smile, the one that he wears each time he reached a conclusion. That pained smile.

"I beg a differ, Neah," Allen said, the ledge continuing to crumble into fine dust.

"Sometimes, you have to destroy to save,"

Neah failed at saving Allen.

.

.

.

"What?" Allen wondered loudly. He was extremely confused at what he saw and yet, there's this nagging feeling at the edge of his conscious that he understands it.

"Don't lie," A voice said, causing Allen to jump in surprise spin backwards. It was the Twelfth, standing in all his maskless glory.

Allen kicked his shin.

"Ouch!" He immediately exclaimed the moment Allen's bare feet made contact with his leg. "Rude!" He says, kneeling on one foot so he can rub the sour part of his leg.

"What the hell did I just saw?" Allen ask.

The Twelfth looked up at him, meeting Allen's gaze, he slumped down on the ground, sitting crossed legged and hit the spot in front of him as indication that Allen should sit there. But Allen just stood there, looming over him with eyes that is filled with disdain. He sigh in defeat, running a hand through his silver lock as he nodded slightly.

"Fine. Fine. Fine," He says with each time he bobbed his head, then glance up at Allen. "What you just saw was a fragment of memories, me in particular,"

"You?" Allen ask cautiously, not believing it.

"Yes, me, I was stupid back then, things were though and so, I wanted a restart," He continued, his hands snaking to his side and gripped his arm.

"But what does it mean?" Allen ask again, he still doesn't understand. "Your existence, everything here, why?"

 _"Liar,"_ The other says, or rather, accused him of being. He couldn't help but feel guilty about it, but then again, what is there to be guilty off?

"You know it," He continued to say, accusations flying everywhere. And there it was again, that nagging feeling, eating away his heart until it becomes hollow. "Our reason, our will, our existence, you are our evidence,"

Allen took a step back, trying to gain distance from the older male. His left foot was caught in a dead root, causing him to tumble back. "Our heir. . ." The other male continue to say, "We were once kings!" He exclaimed.

And then, there it was, the moment of clarity in the time of chaos, a silver lining at the eye of a storm.

"Liar!" _Deception,_ it seemed it was the truth after all, that nagging feeling that was eating him alive.

It was a contradiction actually, his _-their-_ existence was.

The fake, the truth.

I am a liar.

One the hides the truth, even while being one.

 _"Ha._ . _.ha._ . ." He breathed heavily, a hand on his chest to calm down his heartbeat. But strangely, in his chaotic state, there was a sense of peace, a moment of clarity.

"We are liars, that's what we are, twisting the truth until nothing is real," The other male said, somehow a soothing presence.

"To protect something in the face of danger, we must shield it,"

"But who are we protecting?" He couldn't help but ask, the thruth is so close and yet so far, so far away.

I want to understand

The reason behind our existence and why we exist for.

He now knows, partially of it: of dying over and over again and living with each last breath: there were people in it, of protecting and being protected/ of loving and being loved: Of praying and wishing, and just plain pleading and just being helpless and insane and dyeing everything in red.

The Twelfth smiles, a winsome smile, so sweet and lovely, that alone could be the answer to his question. There was an image in that smile, a dead memory, of innocent laughter and the chimes of a piano, and that swaths of gold that seem to held the universe in them.

 _"My dearest beloved,"_

Allen understands.

* * *

"I miss you. . .everyone. . .and everything that we had lived for. I miss the moment before this happen, before us happen and before he fell,"

There was a wind, an autumn breeze carrying dry air.

"So, you understand, don't you, Neah? Why I did this,"

A bitter laugh, he turned back at the familiar presence. Stepping pass multated bodies and a sea of destruction.

It was ironic really, truly ironic, that somehow, their character changed.

"I'm not destroying the world, Neah,"

He stepped closer at the beloved presence, wanting so much to return of the time before.

"I'm saving mine,"

The four of you, my dearest family

Is my world, where I belong to.

"You understand, right, Neah?"

* * *

There was something in this moment, an air of acceptance, as if some kind of turmoil in his soul have finally brought to peace. And then, there was a storm, of the mixture of black and gold, of silver turning to gold and something that went wrong.

Something was held back.

"I'm sorry," The other male says. "I can't let you know everything, not now,"

And there was it, that air of acceptance. "It's okay," He says, "I understand,"

"I was stupid," The other male says, gripping his arm tighter.

There was a sigh, a tired sigh. Or rather, a defeated one.

"I know,"

* * *

There was something in his heart, a dreaded feeling, as if something will go wrong. It was irksome.

* * *

Okay, so I finished this chapter, been planning to do this for a while. And, please keep my sister in your prayer, wish her for the best. I don't grieve much, cause it's not like she's actually gone, her soul just went away. So, for the next chapter, I might post it late.

I apologize if I did anything wrong.

With love,

Mana


	28. Chapter 22: We're going on a trip

For Allen, it was akin to a dream. There was laughter, so much laughter and there was love, an abundance of it. It took him a while to realize that this was reality. With Neah chuckling a joke once in a while and Mana smiling in amusement at it, and then, there was himself, smiling and chuckling and just overall happy in the middle of it.

 _The Noah of destruction,_ the traitorous part of him whisper every time Neah glance at him. _The Fourteenth._

 _The Noah of creation,_ it continues each time Mana made a remark. _The First._

And there was crying, the woes of two souls reaching out for each other, pleading and begging to become one. And then, there was Allen, smiling and laughing as he interact with his siblings while deep inside his heart, he wanted to cry, to just make the souls happy. For then to become one again.

And there was himself, so close to the truth and yet so far away, there was a part of the page that was ripped out. The missing piece.

He was wearing a necklace, Maria, singing softly from underneath his shirt. Searching for her beloved exorcist. He had promised her to find him soon, as he too, was in a search for him.

 _With flaming crimson hair, and that smug smirk of his._

He regret the time that he had thought Cross of concealment magic. And that _curse,_ yeah. . .he should have not thought him that.

There was a cry, a cry of triumph, of victory. "Told you so!" Neah said smugly, smirking in an obnoxious manner.

Allen chuckled at that, poking the egg yolk with his fork until it starts to pour down on the albumen. Today's breakfast was sunny-side-up with pancakes and toast. Oh, how much he loves Mana.

"But, Neah," A voice interjected, more amused than defensive. _"Tuna is_ _a fish,"_

Neah seemed to froze, stopping comically at that as realization hits him. The ice began to break as Neah began heating up, the blood creeping up his face, making a dash of pink appearing on his cheek. _"Oh._ . ." He started chuckling awkwardly.

Allen laugh a bit louder, almost choking on the orange juice that he was just starting to drink. Some dripped from the side of his mouth until Allen took the responsibility to wipe it away with the hem of his shirt. "Silly, Neah," He says as he forks the egg for another bite.

Pancakes came next, with it soft texture and it's overall sweetness, the salty taste of butter seem to compliment the syrup even further as it starts to melt in his mouth. Ice cream would taste good with pancake, but it will make it soggy and there's no fun in fishing for piece and bits of bread.

Allen doesn't like orange juice that much but since the milk was finished, he just have to bear withit.

"So, are you ready, Allen?" Mana ask, his eyes twinkling with excitement.

Allen simply nodded as his mouth was full with orange juice, swallowing the sour liquid he answers, "Well, I got my stuff ready. Neah on the other hand. . ." He glanced at Neah, who was putting his egg on the toast.

"Just clothes and underwear, right?" He says, not even glancing at them. His hand reached for the Nutella jar until Mana stopped him, giving him a stern look.

"We should try putting salmon with Nutella," Neah says, _"Salmonella._ See, even science ships them,"

Mana sigh as he slump back against his seat, the cup of coffee in front of him almost empty. "First of all, No! second, gross and third, it's expensive,"

Neah simply shrugged, taking a bite from his toast. "A man can dream right?"

By this point of life, Allen was already finished with his breakfast, pushing the plate to the center of the table and gulped down the glass of orange juice. Neah was almost there and Mana was already stacking their dirty plates so they don't have to go back and forth between the sink.

Neah exclaimed something, probably, 'wait for me!' since the tone was urgent and hurried. He practically tossed the plate to Mana who thankfully, manage to catch it. Swallowing down the toast he went to his glass of orange juice, which was still full and gulped it down in one go. Mana sigh as he shook his head, taking the glass and putting it in his stack of dirty dishes to wash.

Neah ran to the hallway, disappearing from their line of vision.

"He already took out his clothing, he only need to pack now," He says as he accompany Mana to the sink. He would help if he can, but unfortunately he was to short to reach it.

 _"That child._ . ." Mana muttered under his breath, and yet, he was smiling fondly.

And then, there was silence.

"Mana is starting to remember," It was spoken softly, only for a pair of ears to hear.

"Can't you stop it?" Allen ask.

The elder sigh, putting a plate on the dish rack. "I can't," He says.

"Why?" Allen continued to ask.

There was a smile, a rueful one. "Curiosity is a trivial thing, you see," He says, giving a glance to the younger child briefly.

Allen wanted to snap his finger at him and sass him, but he held back. "I see," Allen says, handing him the washcloth so he can wipe the glass with it. "You gotten good at pretending,"

"Well, you gotten good at disabling spells," The other comments.

Allen snorted, "I'm a sorcerer, what did you expect?"

"You are, are you not?" The other said amusingly. They laugh, just a good hearted laugh. It diminished quietly, replaced with irksome silence.

"You will not hurt Mana, right?" Allen ask softly, almost regretting the question that had left his mouth.

"Why would I hurt him?" Adam wondered loudly, putting the last culinary on the rack. He turned to Allen, kneeling down so they were on the same eye level.

"Don't you hate him? Don't you hate _me?"_

"Why would I?" The other said, "I hate _humanity_ and yet I loved Katherine, I hate people who kills my _family_ and yet I love Neah. Why would I _hate_ you and Mana if you both are a part of my family?"

They held gazes, those golden eyes bore into his, clear and hard unlike it's usual hazy and dreamlike state.

"We took you from your _beloved,_ did we not? We made him hate you and turned him against you!" Allen retorted, stepping closer so they were eye to eye. "Why would you not hate us for that?!"

"Will a father hate his son if the son did something to anger him? No. No matter what the son did, the father would never have the heart to hate him and instead, give him the love that he deserve," Adam replied immediately. "I will never hate _my children,"_

"And am I part of your children?" Allen almost hissed. To be honest, he doesn't know what he wanted to prove, he just want to know something, reassurance of some sort.

Carrying all this weight by himself had always been overbearing.

"You always had been, Allen, since a long time ago. Not from the very beginning but at the start,"

There. His heart dropped, his voice stopping at his throat. There was silence again as the other waited for him to continue.

"Why would you not let me know?" He ask.

"Why didn't you let Cross go at that time but instead cursed him for leaving?" Adam replied almost immediately, the holder to Allen's most wanted question. "It's the same thing Allen, would you let your child near a fire that you know would burn him?"

 _No_

"Let him learn," Allen said, his voice shaking. _Let him burn._ "Children learn from mistakes,"

"But Allen. . .you had broke once,"

Once upon a time ago, when the weight of thr world was lifted from his shoulder briefly.

There was a secret he couldn't tell, about what had happened a long time ago. The thruth behind it.

"But I'll give you a hint,"

 _Let him learn._

"Just like how Mana and I is one," One body and one soul, two half of a whole. "You and Neah, were also like that once,"

But you parted and what left was _madness._

"But even so. . .the bond between you two is one," The anomaly. "My precious musician,"

Allen gritted his teeth, beseething, he gripped his hands. The innocent embed nail biting into his hard skin. "Don't fuck with me!"

After all, what's the point of putting a bait on the rod and pull it from the water as the dish was almost caught.

"I. . .I-" Allen wanted to snap and just get all the answers right here, right now, but something was stopping him. Pulling him away.

There was silence, peaceful silence, Allen remembers at that time, and the cry of the wind. There was laughter. . .I could here someone laughing far on the distance, it was me. I wonder how pleasant it would be, if I went _mad_ just like this.

 _"Only through mystery and madness, that the soul is revealed,"_ Someone had said that a long time ago.

Allen breathed slowly, trying to calm down his incoherent thoughts. He couldn't think straight, everything was muddled together. His senses was muddled together from the sudden spark.

Memories is what makes a person, but for those who have none can simply make new ones. Memories doesn't effect the soul but only the person.

"You see, Allen, this is the reason why I can't reveal it to you. Not yet," The voice said, of a reminiscent of the burning sunset. It tickled his ear, hot breath blowing into it.

And there was a tug, a hand wrapping around his ankle while the other was drapped around his neck, pillowing his head. The other heartbeat was soft, gently thumping against the chest.

There was a cry, a child's cry. And there was the sun that was just starting to rise.

"Allen!" Neah had called in desperation.

"Coffee," Adam replied, shifting Allen in his arm as he pushed Allen of onto the front seat of the car. He pulled the lever, making the seat lower. "We'll stop in two hours," He told Neah, ruffling his already messy hair.

Neah yawned widely at that, opening the door to the back and stepped in. "I'm go," He says before he too went to sleep.

He closed the door and put he luggage into the back of the car, pulling out a plastic bag that hold snacks and water for the rest of the trip. He put it at Allen's foot, beneath his seat.

The car engine started smoothly, he waited for a few minutes to let it warm up first. Air conditioning was a thing for sleep, so he opened it at medium so the car cools. He yawned, rubbing his eyes tiredly as he starts to change the gear.

The car moves softly and lets just hope he doesn't fall asleep while driving it.

* * *

After the thirteenth minute, he thinks that it might take a few more hours for their next stop. Well, at least in this road. With cars honking so the car in front would move and when they don't move.

He sigh, pulling out a bag of potato chips from the plastic bag and opened it. The radio was shit, it was like knives grating the inside of his ear.

"The Ark would be much faster," Allen said suddenly as he munch some of the potato chip.

He sigh, hitting the steering wheel in frustration. _"The Black Order!"_ He growled, gripping the edge of the wheel tighter. "They're keeping an eye out on us and what would happen if we suddenly appeared at the other side of the world?"

Allen sigh, slumping deeper into his seat, he changed the radio station as the current one was crap. But then again, every station was, so in the end, he took out his USB from the front compartment and linked it together with his phone. Bluetooth was hard and it was easier to do this, not much later, they were cruising the road with _Krutzeur._

It was an insane piece.

"Which side will you choose?" The driver ask, between the eight bar and the nine.

"I don't know," Allen said as he lay back down on his seat, the pillow supporting his neck as he snuggled under the blanket.

And yes, they have that.

Neah too was like that at the back, drooling and slightly snoring on his pillow. It was an understatement, they woke up at four in the morning to prepare for the sudden road trip. With Mana barging into their room with his bag ready as he exclaim, "Get your stuff ready, we're going away for a week!"

Though, his gut feeling was telling him ot was going to be longer than that.

"I'll respect your judgement," Adam had said, gripping the wheel a bit too tightly until his knuckles tried white. "But trust me, Allen. . " there was something in his voice, an omen.

"When things goes wrong, I will swoop down and grab you,"

Allen snorted, _so things will surely go wrong, huh?_

The car went into a stop again, not like it was moving much to begin with. Allen sat up, glancing briefly at the window before he lay back down. "Want me to curse them?"

"No!"

Neah was missing out the fun.

"Hey, Adam?" the name rolled on his tounge forcibly. Not yet used to call him by this name, even more when it was the same person as Mana. "When will Mana, wake up?"

The other shrugged, loosing his patient with the traffic and started to cut his way through the cars. "I don't know," He answers, swerving the car to the right.

"But not soon,"

He pulled the lever from the side of his seat, making the seat push itself upwards and pushing him along with it. He was no longer tired now that he had just woken up. Besides, it was a good opportunity to have a heart to heart chat with the other occupant in the car.

"What will happen to me?" He ask again, lowering down the volume of the music.

"It depends," the other answers, always looking at the road ahead- Oh, is that a truck? Don't cut it!

He cuted it.

Allen gotten a good image of the tire.

Adam laugh at Allen's response to his driving, "I did crazier stuff, you should have seen what I done to Edo!" He exclaimed, not afraid to be loud since the person at the back sleeps like a dog.

Allen sigh, reopening the potato chip and throwing it into his mouth. "I did seen it. I was _there,_ remember?"

The other hummed for a moment, arriving at a roundabout, he gently went around it as he took the third exit. Remind him again, who let this guy have a car?

"Oh, right, you _deaged_ and lost your memory! I remember," He wondered loudly, slowing down as he went pass a bumper.

Allen snorted, opening the water bottle that they had brought and drank from it. "You were worse, infusing with the Earl and overwhelming Mana's mind," there was a smile on his face, a dry smile that held no emotion.

"It was my first incarnation," He says.

He swerved left, missing the other car by a hair and caused the other cars to honk at them. "Can I curse them?" He snapped, glaring past the window.

"Allen, _no!"_ Adam said sternly, eyes on the road as he tried to focus on both it and Allen.

Allen instead smirked, bringing his right hand. "Who are you to stop me?"

"I am your father,"

"Stop pulling Star Wars meme's on me!"

"Dante In-"

 _"Allen!"_

* * *

 **Okay, this is long. For those who are wondering, Allen remembers but there is a part missing, one that Neah and Adam are hiding from him. So Allen wants to know, to reclaim back all his memories. It's frightening actually, to feel as if part of your memory is missing. You start questioning what you had done and will always be at the edge, forcing yourself to remember. I experienced it dozens of time.**

 **I don't know how to comfort my mom, each time she holds my hand I just want to shove it away. I'm not good with contact, holding hands feel as if someone is restricting my chest while hugging feels as if I'm in prisons. Reassurance is as if someone is taking my breath away from my lung and breathing would be hard. So it's hard. I'm not that affected by the lost as I'm not that attached to anything. This happen when you can't even trust your memory.**

Thank you for all your support!

With love,

Mana


	29. Chapter 23: Forgetful runs in the family

Cross was tinkering in his room, a bubbling glass of dark green liquid at the center of a circle, drawn in dark red. He stood there, not far from it, a note book in his hand and papers being strewn all over the floor. It was night- not night but morning, dark circles was evident beneath his eyes.

 _"Hmmm._ . _.interesting._ . ."

It took him a couple of moment to realize the other's presence in his room. And when he did, he almost knocked his precious experiment but thankfully, it managed to balance itself. He glared at the trespasser, gripping his pencil tightly in anger.

"I told you to use the door!"

He hissed, not raising his voice so he wouldn't wake the other occupant in the house. The trespasser chuckled softly, walking towards him. Even in the poor lighting of his room, he manage to make out that golden eyes of his and that slim build.

They were only a few inches apart now, but even so, he had to turn his head up to meet the other's eye.

"I did. I walked through it,"

Cross wanted so much to punch that smug face, twisting the overall smirk upside down. And just overall beat him to his heart content, but what he learned from his older brother was patience. And Allen had so little of that.

He sigh, leaning against the edge of the table, slightly frowning. There was one question that irked his mind:

"How did you get in, the entry's lock and we didn't give you any spare keys?"

"I didn't,"

The other answers, crossing his arm over his chest.

"Don't tell me-" but by the look of the other's face it seemed that he did.

"Joid!"

The smug first, he hates that. Cross couldn't control himself anymore, he had rights for his privacy.

"Allen, Neah!" Cross shouted, hands reaching to make a binding spell to secure the trespasser.

"Your friend went into my room again!"

* * *

"We're here!" Mana, or in this case, Adam announced, parking the car.

Allen fluttered his eyes, shutting it back as the sudden bright afternoon light hit his retina. Neah gasped from behind him, grasping the his seat. Water accumulated in his eyes, Allen rubbed his eyes with the hem of his sleeve, removing the accessing liquid.

The car stop as Mana pulled it's keys, two doors opened not soon from other. Cold air entered inside the car, cooling down it's anterior. Allen pushed the door open, jumping into the frozen grown.

There was a sudden blast of cold wind, a sign of upcoming snow. A few silver flakes drifter in the sky, landing on Allen's outstretched palm. Another wind blew, and Allen held onto his shirt, seeking for warmth.

Mana called him from somewhere, urging for him to come. He followed the direction of the voice, wanting heat. The ground crunches each time Allen steps on it, it was dry and frozen.

"Allen!" Mana called again, and when he glance up, his breath was taken.

There was a field of gold, and a rotting tree. Tall field of wheat stretches for all the sky could see, it was higher then him, higher then he remembered. And among the golden wheat was a mansion, with stone bricks and mahogany wood.

Neah appeared besides him, little cloud of mist appearing each time he exhales, his cheek was flushed and all of a sudden, it reminded him of the past. Neah too, was excited, smiling eagerly as he tried to regain his breathing.

Mana waved at them, though his hand could hardly been seen as the wheat got in between them. Allen couldn't help but smile at that.

"Go in first!" Mana shouted from somewhere ahead of them. "I'll take our luggage!"

And then he was gone.

The wind was strong here, blowing none stop since they stepped out from the car. There was a tree not far from there, it's bark already rotting. The sky above them was clear, with clouds drifting until the horizon.

"What is this place?" Allen feigned ignorance, watching the landscape with childlike awe.

"I don't know," Neah too pretended, acting as if he doesn't know. He stood uptight, pushing himself up from his crouching position and dusted himself.

Allen was still looking at the surrounding, burning the scenery into his mind so he won't forget about it. Neah took his hand and gently tugged it, wanting to move. They walked towards the mansion, pushing past long stems of gold.

It didn't change. The mansion that was standing there, never change. It felt wrong actually, to be here right now. There was something wrong.

"Neah?" He called wearily, reaching out his hand for Neah.

At least, until an arrow got between them.

A/N

Okay, I edited the virtue of insanity and it would really help me if you reread and reveiw it. Cause I check my email daily, and when I find a messadw concerning the virtue of insanity about so on and so on, I'll remember that I made it. And when I remember I will continue to make it.

The reason this didn't go like my earlier stories was that, there are notifications every day about this story which makes me remember. So please, if you read any of my story, like or favourite or review, anything that would leave a notification so I won't forget.


	30. 24: The fool, the catalyst, the saviour

"We're here!" Mana, or in this case, _Adam_ announced, parking the car.

Allen's eyes fluttered open, shutting it back as soon the sudden bright afternoon light hit his retina. Neah gasped in surprise from behind him, grasping the edge of Allen's seat. Water accumulated in his eyes, Allen rubbed his eyes with the hem of his sleeve, removing the accessing liquid.

The car came to a sudden stop as Mana pulled it's keys, two doors opened simultaneously not soon after other. Cold air entered inside the car, cooling down it's interior. Allen pushed his door open, jumping into the frozen ground.

There was a sudden blast of cold wind, a sign of upcoming snow. A few silver flakes was already drifting in the sky, landing on Allen's outstretched palm. Another wind blew, and Allen held onto his shirt, seeking for warmth.

Mana called him from somewhere, urging for him to come. He followed the direction of the voice, wanting heat. The ground crunches each time Allen steps on it, it was dry and frozen.

"Allen!" Mana called again, and when he glance up, his breath was taken.

There was a field of gold, and a rotting tree. Tall field of wheat stretches for all the sky could see, it was higher then him, higher then he remembered. And among the golden wheat was a mansion, with stone bricks and mahogany wood.

Neah appeared besides him, little cloud of mist appearing each time he exhales, his cheek was flushed and all of a sudden, it reminded him of the past. Neah too, was excited, smiling eagerly as he tried to regain his breathing.

Mana waved at them, though his hand could hardly been seen as the wheat got in between them. Allen couldn't help but smile at that.

"Go in first!" Mana shouted from somewhere ahead of them. "I'll take our luggage!"

And then he was gone.

The wind was strong here, blowing none stop since they stepped out from the car. There was a tree not far from there, it's bark already rotting. The sky above them was clear, with clouds drifting until the horizon.

"What is this place?" Allen feigned ignorance, watching the landscape with childlike awe.

"I don't know," Neah too pretended, acting as if he doesn't know. He stood uptight, pushing himself up from his crouching position and dusted himself.

Allen was still looking at the surrounding, burning the scenery into his mind so he won't forget about it. Neah took his hand and gently tugged it, wanting to move. They walked towards the mansion, pushing past long stems of gold.

It didn't change. The mansion that was standing there, never change. It felt wrong actually, to be here right now. There was something wrong.

"Neah?" He called wearily, reaching out his hand for Neah.

At least, until an arrow got between them.

There was energy, charged particles of pure power behind them. And there was a reaction, of opposite molecular mixing with each other. An aura surrounded Neah, reacting to the wretched energy of innocence.

His skin turned a shade darker and that golden eyes of his, seemed to glow eerily even under the glare of the sun. There was a gust of wind, blowing his hair gently in waves. Neah, who was besides him, starts breathing heavily as if he was trying to calm himself down.

Allen doesn't know how to react, so instead he went behind Neah, trying to calm him down with his presence. Neah began look conflicted as if he was trying to control himself from going berserk, but failing.

There was the sound of an unsheating sword and footsteps came closer. An annoying presence coming unannounced.

Neah snapped at Allen, looking at him with wide desperate eyes. "Go," Neah said weekly, the dark aura surrounding him getting thicker. "Go!" He said again, desperate.

Allen's left hand throbbed, eager to be used.

"You Noah scum!"

And Neah finally let go of his last strand of sanity, snapping his gaze at the exorcist behind him. His aura too flared, becoming tangible, tendrils of black smoke emitting from him. Allen stumbled back, his senses being overwhelmed.

There was also noises coming from behind, of quite whispers giving orders.

Neah, stood there, unnaturally still and silent. And then he started to laugh, gripping his hair and grasping his stomach as bends down. And then came calmness, amuse, an odd smugness.

"You came here, to my home and threatened me?" Neah said ridiculously, walking towards the now-confused exorcist.

"You think, just five of you will be enough to handle me?" Neah continued, tilting his head to the side. "I knew the Black Order was arrogant, but never this much,"

And as Neah got closer to the exorcist, Allen could see, the tip of his blade shaking, crumbling to fine dust. Reacting to the aura of _Destruction._ Neah's aura was too overwhelming for a _fake_ to handle.

And then, he stopped, smiling sweetly as he stop the blade that was striking down towards him with his bare hand. The metallic surface of innocence began to crumble to dust immediately upon contact. The exorcist was left innocentless.

"It took more then five generals to finally stop me," Neah said softly, smiling that cruel smile of his. 'As mad as a hatter' one would say. "What makes you think five measly exorcist could deter me, huh?"

There was an arrow- No, arrows falling from the sky like rain. Neah reached out for the sky, hands stretched outwards like a prayer and then he gripped it into a fist. The innocence immediately disappearing from sight.

Neah glanced back, smiling at Allen, his eyes adopting a soft tone. Allen realize, that the area around them was nothing but dirt and stone now. The beautiful golden wheats now gone. And then, Neah begam to reach out for him, hands stretching out. Allen realize something was wrong about Neah; his eyes was glaze and his expression was melancholic.

He was lost in a dream.

And Allen ran toward Neah, reaching before he was too late.

 _Destruction_ , it touches everything. Even the host itself. For Neah who is lost in his dream, who is just controlling his power out of pure instinct, will be overwhelmed by his own energy.

Allen remembered that that had happen _before_ , but it wasn't _only_ Neah. . .there too was _someone_ else with Destruction. . .

.

 _At_ _the_ _corner_ _of_ _my_ _mind_ _I_ _could_ _hear_ _someone_ _laughing_ , _it_ _was_ _me_. _I_ _wonder_ _how_ _pleasant_ _it_ _would_ _be_ , _if_ _I_ _just_ _went_ _mad_ _lile_ _this?_

.

Allen slowed down, the distance between he and Neah was already so close now. Neah was smiling at him, the painful bittersweet smile of his, a melancholic expression on his face. Allen was out of breath, the atmosphere in Neah's aura was so thin, it was even hard to breathe.

"Neah?" He called out, hands reaching out to pull Neah back to reality.

Allen wondered, when he was in this kind of state, was he like this or the opposite?

" _Neah_ ," He called again, pulling Neah towards him. But it was like pulling a firm pole, and in the end, Allen just resorted to grasp Neah's hand.

And somehow, Neah simply smiled wider, his other hand reaching to cup Allen's face. "Oh, Allen," Neah had said with that twisted smile of his.

"Allen," Neah said again.

Allen felt a shift in the air as Neah's aura blazed again, pulsing with energy. But there was something different in the air, an old presence just hovering near by. Watching, observing.

Neah let go of Allen's hand, the other reaching for the other side of Allen's face. There was it, the slight gleam of Neah's eyes, insane and feral. And there was darkness surroundingd them, impenetrable nothing. Allen was lost. Lost in that swirling bright eyes of molten gold.

"Neah," Allen cried, trying to wrench free of Neah's grip, but his leg had already become jelly and his body became lead.

Allen was afraid that if Neah continue to become like this, he would lost control of himself and destroy everything. _Everything._

 _"My dearest, Allen,"_ Neah said soothingly. There was blood, Allen could see, dripping down from the crown on Neah's forehead.

And there was a twitch, Allen could feel, from the _gem_ in his left hand.

"Allen. . .who had found me. Allen who had loved me. Allen who _had saved me and Allen who I had left-"_

There was something wrong with Neah, insanely wrong.

The grip on his face tightened, nails digging into soft flesh, pools of blood began pooling under it. But Allen didn't mind bleeding, he had tons of blood to spare. Allen gripped the hands on his face, trying to lessen the pressure on it.

 _You! Allen! Who had tried to fix everything by yourself! Allen who had turned me into a moster!"_ Neah cried out, fat blood rolling down his cheek instead of tears.

 _"Who had died for me! Who had left me. . ."_ Neah flattered, the light in his eyes flickering. The grip lessen, his hands going slack.

 _"I love you, Allen who had saved me,"_

 _Who had destroy for me._

And Neah's eyes flutter, the blazing aura dying along as he closed his eyes. The tone of his skin turned lighter, to it's usual, slightly tanned state. Neah crumbled down, falling limp onto the barren ground. The sky returned as the sun hung on the sky, as if nothing had happen.

The field of gold was almost gone, only a line or two near the horizon. The mansion was left untouched, maybe it was because of the Earl's pressence by it's door. Observing them with watchful eyes.

And there was Neah, who was peacefully sleeping on the ground. So peaceful as if he was a tired child rather then a scarred soul. And there was also Allen, who is now on his knees, holding Neah in his arm so he can sleep peacefully, without disturbance.

He glanced at the older male by the house entrance, and they began to talk by using their eyes. And finally, after a long discussion, the Earl nodded.

He walked towards them, only covering a couple of distance until he arrived to his destination. From there, he bend down, picking the lithe child into his arm and cradled him gently.

There was the cry of the wind, dry air going towards the colder area in a cycle of nature. And there was no longer that swath of gold, only a little left. But the sun was still the same, even from before then, ignorant of the tragedies that had occurred. Allen was slightly thankful of that, since because of it, he too can act as if nothing had happened.

With his other hand, the Earl stretched it to Allen so he would take. They set off, towards the looming mansion that houses an abundant of bittersweet memoirs. There was a song being played, a song that had been played so many times before.

It was a lullaby, of a child going to sleep.

"Let's get you home," The Earl said, leading them towards the looming black door that was already waiting for them to enter.

"My dearest musicians,"

And they stepped into the Ark.


	31. Chapter 25: Awaken

"Hey, Earl?" Allen had called.

"Why is it always us?" Allen ask, cause he was tired, so tired. He was starting to break.

There was a look of pain and conflict passing through the Earl's eyes, though it quickly passed back to it's usual golden mirth. "Sorry, but I don't know," he answers, his usual answer to Allen's question.

"Why can't we stop?" Allen ask again, resting his head on his arm now that his neck aches so bad.

And then, there was it, that look of nostalgia crossings Adam face. It maintained, his study smile leaning more bittersweet then pure sugar. "I don't know, Allen," there too was regret in the tone of his voice, of a father failing to save his children.

"I'm sorry," and there was something sincere in the tone of his voice, something that he couldn't stop from halle.

Allen didn't ask anymore question.

.

"Good bye," The Earl said, leaving a small kiss on Allen's forhead, wiping away the silver locks.

"Must you go?" Allen ask, tilting his head to the side. He didn't want anybody to leave, now that he had almost lost someone.

"I have a mission to finish," The Earl answers, tipping his top head to reveal the unruly hair hidden underneath. Allen bit his lower lips, pouting. His golden eyes took a softer tone as he sunks to the floor, holding the child's face in his hand. "I'm sorry," he says, trying to console the child.

He smiles slightly, showing his pearly white teeth. "But please," I beg of you, "take care of yourself and Neah, when I'm gone,"

Cause if something were to happen to the both of you. . .

I might as well destroy the world.

There was something in the tone of his voice, Allen notice it, a hint of desperation and a dash of fear. Allen looks into his eyes, those golden eyes that seemed to boil, holding a few emerald flecks in them.

Allen gulped, unsure of what to answer. "I. . .will," he says hesitantly, because he can't promise anything.

Relief passes through the Earl's eyes, and suddenly he pulled Allen towards him. Locking the child into a thight embrace, he hold onto tightly. Allen wanted to cry, those memories . .those scene. . .he had always wanted to be hugged like this. Not of the last moment or the final breaking pointing before madness, but just this. . .

Simple as that.

"I love you," the Earl mumbled into Allen's ear, burrowing his face into his silver locks. Which remind him, it's time to cut those soon.

Allen laughed, a good hearted laugh out of pure amusement. He hadn't done that lately. "You love everyone," Allen stated in his mirth state.

The Earl let go of him, that overly familiar eyes and yet so foreign looking at him dearly. Allen swallowed the lump in his throat. "You are my family, are you not?" there was amusement in those eyes, lips twisted into a smirk. And yet, there was something underneath it. . .sadness.

Allen hesitated to answer, his voice couldn't leave his throat. But in the end, he didn't answer.

.

Neah had finally woken up. Allen should been happy that Neah had woken up but the moment his eyes opened. . .it was madness.

"Mana!" Neah had cried out, hands reaching for the sky above.

Allen realize, that glazed golden eyes. . .the pupils were slits, like snake. His skin was a dark gray of ash and there was a holy crown bleeding across his forhead.

There was something in Neah's voice, a tone calling for pure desperation.

Allen realize that Neah isn't actually fully awake, he was still dreaming.

So what Allen need to do was make Neah go back to sleep again, for his mind to recover from it's broken state. He hugged Neah, arms wrapping around the tiny frame -but big compared to his own- and Neah out of pure unconsciousness, hugged him back. Tightly, nails digging into his shoulder blade. But Allen didn't care.

Neah's breathing took a beat faster as he starts crying, sobbing and clawing. For what? Allen doesn't know. All Allen did was soothed him, hands combing through Neah's soft midnight hair and his other gently rubbing his back in small circles. He whispered into Neah's ear, of quite reassurance and gentle promises.

Nought, but a simple dream.

Neah generally quiet down, not really letting go of Allen but instead, only hold onto him loosely. He was still crying but no longer sobbing, of shouting fits.

"Mana. . ." He cried again, blood mixing with his flowing tears.

Red stained the pure white sheets, and Allen would need to change them soon. His shirt, too was soaked, of dried tears and blood stain. He really need to change that.

Neah slowed down, and Allen was relieve because of that since it meant Neah was coming together. Neah became quiet, silent, there was a dark haze surrounding him. Allen wasn't quiet sure if it's his aura.

"Hey, Allen?" Neah called, a child voice calling in the pure darkness, gripping onto him tighter.

"Yes?" Allen replied, resting his head on Neah shoulder just as Neah was resting his on his shoulder.

"Why would you do that?" Neah ask, burrying his head into Allen's silky white locks.

"Do what, Neah?" Allen ask this time. Not quite sure if Neah was awake or still dreaming.

"Everything," Neah answered in an exhale.

"I too, don't know why," Allen answered, gripping onto Neah so that he wouldn't be lost in his whirlpool of memories.

.

.

.

It was a sweet nightmare. . .of all her dearest family being together.

Until their blood starts dripping on the already, so dirtied floor. Of her most dearest beloved laughing and singing and suddenly it turned to him laughing and crying of just unprecedented madness. And there was the shatter of the mirrors and the shatter of the mind. Of shards of glasses and broken parts of memories.

And suddenly, there was nothing, nothing left anymore.

And then, there was something more.

There was the reformatting of her family, of new -yet old- children, members of broken part of her family coming together to finish the unfinished puzzle that was driving her insane. But there was also something missing, a missing pieace, that hateful presence. But in the end, she still couldn't have the heart to actually hate him.

And then they met, but it wasn't exactly him.

They started to fight, and it broke everyone's heart.

And he lost his will and another resurfaced.

And they all somehow died again, but the next thing they know they were alive.

She never actually knew what it feels like to die, but when it happen, there was a burden being lift from her shoulder. The thought of, I don't have to do this anymore. And I can finally rest.

There was someone crying and sobbing, she realized in her dream like state at that time. Her senses were all over the place, after that familiar broadswoard rammed inside her. It sliced her apart, and when she finally thought that it would end until she realized the material that had sliced her inside wasn't exactly innocence.

And so, she opened her eyes, wondering why she isn't reacting right. Only to find out it wasn't a sword in the first place, but a hand.

There was a hole inside her, of rotting flesh and torn insides. And there was someone besides her, of golden eyes and silver hair. He was crying, that hateful presence was.

And she was being hold.

Her body is rotting, she realized as the inky blackness starts to spread from the hole. Blood rushes out from it, and no matter how much she regenerates she still continue to crumble. You can't fight fire with fire.

And so, what she did was soothe the crying presence. Giving him a reassurance smile of things will be alright.

She was crying, she started to even before, but this was different. So many people had died, so many of her family crumbling before her eyes. She can't stand the thought of loosing more.

So the thought of ramming a candle through the other male's chest was quickly discarded from her mind. And seeing him being sad was as if it was pressuring her chest.

And so, she sung. A song that was gifted to her from a long time ago.

"The Earl of Millennium is looking for you. . ." She gasped, trying to keep her smile from falling from her face.

"Searching. . . for his precious heart. . ." There was the sound of distant footsteps, there was no more cries of battle.

The rest of her family retreated. Three down, ten to go.

"Have you heard the news?" she tried breathing, but her lungs was being constricted in her chest.

There was black everywhere, she doesn't know wether it was simply her end or the exorcist's uniforms. But from the aura that was reacting to her's, it was the latter.

"Maybe you stole it from him. . .?"

Ah, that golden eyes. It reminded her so much of him. Such crybabies they were.

"Road. . .?" The presence choked, hugging onto her lithe body tightly.

Eyes were observing them, she could feel it and it was discerning, but then again, let them see, how much the truth is about the relationship between them!

"I see if that's true. . ." she sung the finale phrase lastly, her small hand reaching to carass the other's face.

"Don't leave me. . ." He cried out, tears flowing down his check in tiny raindrops.

She gripped onto other's cheek, her long nails digging into soft flesh.

"I hate you, Neah," she winced, breathing heavily as she mustered the sharpest glare she could manage.

There was a sharp gasp somewhere, and the unscheating of a sword. She couldn't care less about that.

"For taking everything away from me!" she continued hissing, her heart racing and her mind burning.

Another presence was coming, the Earl coming to save her. But she didn't want that, she only want rest now.

"I'll give you nightmares!" she promises, but then realized, how little the threat was exactly. Knowing full well the he got it everyday.

"Your punishment for taking. . ." she trailed off, giving him the sweetest smile she could muster. By this point of near death, she could no longer hear any noise.

"Is the burden of my soul,"

There was malice in the tone of her voice, knowing full well it managed to disrupt him.

The familiar presence was coming closer now, only a single door. But then, by this point, she already gave in to the darkness.

There was it, that inviting calmness and the feeling of finally being free.

As her eyes flutters open onto the darkly lit room that she was occupying, she thought that it was naught but a simple dream.

Until she realized she was Dream.

So she finally woke up at her name being called, and she couldn't but feel this nostalgic pain in her heart. Beating and warm, alive! She was mirthed, so happy, and yet there's this melancholic feeling. She was crying now, and so was he.

The feeling in this warm pair of arms, she never had felt home.

"Road. . ." The beloved presence cried out and she felt on cloud nine at being called by him. "I missed you,"

She smiled, sinking deeper into the other's long hair. "Me too. . .I miss you Earl,"

Her eyes, now a bright gold scanned her room. There was the scent of blood and rotting corpses hanging low in the air, like a heavy cloud. Her heart was singing and her veins was pulsing with life, it was was if she has only started living.

And the knowledge that it wasn't just them makes her even more giddy. She wants to return to that place soon, of unchanging skies and dark hallways.

But first, she wants to spend more time like this as his presence right now belongs to her and only her, knowing full well that once they returned his mind will go onto someone else. The hateful and yet, beloved presence.

"I had waited for so long. . ." she sobbed, fingers curling onto the soft fabric of his trench coat.

Our reunion.


	32. Chapter 26: Precious minerals

_Imagine that the world is made out of love,_

 _Now amagine it isn't;_

 _Imagine where everything goes wrong,_

 _Where everyone has their backs against the wall,_

 _Where everyone is in pain,_

 _Where everyone acts selfishly,_

 _Because if they don't they will die._

 _Now imagine a story,_

 _Not of good against evil,_

 _But of need, against need, against need._

 _Where everyone is at cross purpose and everyone is at to blame._

* * *

 _Back then, he was a child_. So young at that time, that his past memories didn't resurface yet at such a young age.

He was also an accommodator, a child soldier. But he was so young and confused at the time; the world became his enemy.

It's soldier -CROWS- would catch him each time he tried to run from that damned prison and throw him onto the ground. Electrocute him and hurt him to try deepening the connection between him and his weapon.

 _"It's your destiny. . ."_ they would said, each time he was on _ground_ level and they were way _above_.

 _"To fight for the sake_ _of the world. . ."_

The world was his enemy and he doesn't want any of that.

Why should he fight for people who had rammed him to the ground?

People who had a twisted pleasure from breaking him, hurt him and belittle him.

 _Why should he fight for the world who had only took from him?_

He had nothing to make his own, only himself, and they want to take that away too?

 _Bullshit_.

It's survival for the fittest, bitch. Every man for themselves. You are your own responsibility.

The world has itself and he have himself.

 _It's not my fault if they were to die. The world had never been my ally, and why should I?_

But _they_ don't understand that. Those who were fighting for the sake of the world. For the greater cause, the lesser evil.

 _"It's our home. . ."_ they would always say, as if they were trying to fool themselves.

 _"The only home we have,"_

But it never has been mine.

Road was here. Allen was a bit confused at that. _She didn't change_ , Allen noticed. But who was he to say?

She still had that spiky dark blue hair of hers and that overall lavender eyes. There was still that childlike facade she was wearing, complimenting her sweet tooth. But in the end, nothing change.

Not nothing but only slightly.

She still hide her astrial(?) body in her dream world. And choose to stay there more then the real world.

But the difference between now and then was that she can start bring parts from her dream world to reality.

 _I mean_ , there's a giant koi fish floating in the living room as if the air was water. It followed her like a second shadow, swimming through the air. And Road sinply giggled, running in the room as she smiled mirthfully.

Allen hope this was a _dream_ , cause if Road can start turning her _dream_ into _reality_. . .it would be a _nightmare_.

Allen shuddered at all the things he had seen in her dream world.

" _Ouhh_ ," There was the moan of disappointment.

And Road just stood there, watching as her giant pet fish starts to disappear. Waning ever so slightly as it stood between the area of dream and reality.

And it ceased to exist.

"One hour and twenty-four minute," Allen said boredly, whilst holding a golden pocket watch in his hand.

Road shrugged, plopping onto one of the sofa in the living room. She sigh, rolling onto her stomach as she switch the television on. There was a plate of dessert in front of her, along with a few bowls of sweet. Cranberry juice was just served as one of the akuma maid gently put the tall glass of purple juice on the coffee table.

This time it was Allen who sigh as he run his fingers through his silver locks. He sat down on the nearest chair, he locked his elbow on the armrest where he layed his head on his palm.

A dull throb starts to make itself known on Allen's forehead, more of an annoying presence rather then an immediate threat. His eyelids felt heavier now, making him nod off from time to time. The exhaustion of sleep was finally right behind him.

After all, sleepless night of watching over Neah and energetic days to ward off near threats. He hadn't thought of the consequences before.

He was a child, and Allen had forgotten that. Children need a good amount of rest to help them grow. They start fixing broken cells in their sleep and start growing during that unconscious state. If that was the case, no wonder he used to be so short during his previous life. After all, back then, sleep was only a concept so they won't die of sleep deprivation.

 _Child_. . .the thought of him being one. . .What exactly is a normal child?

Yes.

There too was a time when he was a child. Some was a moment of pure bliss while other was simply horror, survival for the fittest.

And yet, some was a bit different.

Of isolation and revolution.

" _Akuma_. . ." A soft voice called, gentle fingers dancing on his face.

There was a lull that he couldn't help but follow, even while knowing the it was a trap. And he fell. . . .fall. . .falling. . .into the dark abyss below.

There was a world. . .a world so beautiful. . .

He can never forget it.

It was a world of precious gold. . .of ruby skies and brilliant cerulean. Diamonds dotted the sky, glinting and gleaming in all it's nobleness.

And above all, that precious gem that took up this whole world. . .

It was a mixture of precious gold, of delicate porcelain skin and that beautiful midnight hair. A brittle smile was on his lips, made from thin glass, as if it could break any moment.

\- please give this child, your out most love-

The sun was just starting to set. . .and a melody was being played as if the winds itself was singing.

 _". . .once the sun has set. . ."_

They had shared this moment together.

 _". . .you my friend. . ."_

Surprisingly, it was his voice that was being said now.

It felt everlasting, just the two of them.

 _". . .we will become enemies. . ."_

No wonder that smile was so brittle, this situation was too delicate to be pressed on.

But the meaning behind those words dawned onto him in mere seconds.

He laughed somewhere in the corner of his mind, running his finger through his silver locks. Mercury eyes shone slightly as darkness sets in, the sun, now long had disappeared.

He was alone now, with stars glittering and twinkling in the dark skies above. There was a roaring laughter, of madness and everything falling apart.

He couldn't believe this was actually happening.

 _My world. . .it left. . ._

Such a cruel reality. In the end he only has himself.

"No. . ." He cried out, reaching for something, anything that would stay.

He was like a ghost, a myriad in his own world. He was nothing.

"No. . ." he sobbed, soft laughter slowly turning into precious tear. "No. No. No. No." he repeated over and over like a broken disk, maybe he was broken.

He crumbled to the ground, hands raking through sliver locks. Softly, there was cries of laughter from somewhere in the corner of his mind. An impending madness slowly creeping onto him.

"No!" He sobbed again, clawing his face to stop the shadows from laughing.

It quiet down. . .quiet. . .everything is backwards here.

"Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhahahahhahhhhahahahahhahah!" Someone cried in maddening humour. It was him.

How pleasant it would be, if I can go mad like this?

"Ha. . .ha. . ." he breathed softly, and now, everything became quiet. Peace.

Alone.

Against the whole world.

"Please. . ." he sobbed, curling into a tight ball.

"Don't leave me. . ." he pleaded, for something, anything, to stay.

* * *

How was me, being angsty? I think I messed up at soom part. But hey, Road is in the house. And with Neah. Their interaction will be soon. And I'm still thinking of the awaken order like who should wake next? .

How long should this story be? I think it should belonger but at the same time I want it tl be shorter.

Got another idea for another story, it's gonna be an academy (Neallen) finally romance and there will be some Dreamwalker and Archiviste in it. Try reading Vanitas no Carte to understand what I'm talking about.

With love,

Mana d. Campbell


	33. Chapter 27: Oshiete kudasai

"You. . ." someone said in a threatening manner

Silver eyes shone brightly in the darkness. Burning like molten silver, fueled by anger and resentment, also with something akin to passion. There was a burning sensation in his lung, he ignored that passive threat. As he was too caught up by that beautiful light.

Long locks of silver hair crowned his face, like silk. . .glinting in the air like dewed spider web. It was as if the strands were made from diamond and he was at Jupiter, it was raining diamond.

A trail of water ran down his cheek, but he couldn't tell wether it was the building sweat or just the accumulating tears. But in the end his hand still reached for it, gently caressing the soft cheek with the tips of his fingers.

"You!" That being hissed again, and that burning sensation. . .his breathe was caught away. Even in pure rage, Allen was still beautiful.

And just as Allen's tightened the grip around his neck, did he realized that it was there in the first place. Too entranced by the otherworldly appearance, to even care that it was harming him.

Allen was crying, dazzling tears rolling down from his eyes like soft crystals. His eyes were slitted from the dimness of the room they were in. It was bright and feral, much like his own at the current moment.

Strands of his dark hair fall onto his face as he tilted his head to the side, covering parts of his eyes. The smile stretches his face, but he couldn't help it, he was so happy right now. Seeing Allen and all that.

After all, if Allen was here, that meant all the things that had happened in his dream didn't exactly happen. Allen didn't sacrificed himself, right?

Allen didn't die, right?

Allen was alive and well, he was breathing and simply painstakingly living.

"How dare you!" Allen continued to hiss, delicate fingers still around his neck. Clinging and clasping. But in the end, no harmharm actually happened.

After all, he was the _Destruction_ here.

That smile. . .it stretches his face. . .It was starting to hurt. But he can't feign happiness.

Allen was starting to cry, fat tears falling from his eyes. There was something wet on his cheek, rolling down to stain the sheets below. And yet, Allen was still glaring at Neah. Eyes so full of hate and passion, it was the two side of a coin. Either one or the other, but Allen has both.

"How dare you left me?" He ask. Well, it sounded as if Allen was asking.

He cried out again -anger and resentment-, hands leaving his now bruised neck to grab the collar of his shirt. Allen tugged, almost making the fibres of his shirt ripped. He pulled Neah towards him, and with a swipe of his hand, he clawed Neah's face.

"How dare you?" Allen continued to hiss.

It was not often that he sees this side of Allen, but when he does, it was truly a sight to behold. Raw and pure. This was an untainted side of Allen that only he can see.

 _"You. You. You."_ Allen repeated over and over, fingers digging into soft flesh and a sudden drop of crimson.

"You. . ." Allen trailed off and slowly, his hands retreated back to him. Hugging his side as he stares at Neah with that rueful eyes.

" _HahahaA **HahahahhahAaahHhhhhh** hHaaaaaaahahahhhaAHA **HAHHHahhaH**_ ahaHHa!"

And he started laughing, gripping his side to stop himself falling like madman. Tears starts ejaculating from his eyes, there was a hint of recognition in Allen's eyes. Of familiarize sanity.

 _Broken. Allen was so, so broken_.

Allen should not be like this.

And so, he reached out for Allen, trying to put the pieces back together. But, Allen didn't need that. He was strong and broken, and everything that he never was. All he can do was to help and support.

" _You!"_ Allen says pointingly, grinning from ear to ear. He started to laugh again, but only slightly this time.

Allen look at Neah, bright silver eyes breaming with tears. Stark white hair crowned his face, gleaming like raindrops. Those bright eyes, it was warm and cold, a reminiscent of a passed autumn.

Ahh, those eyes, there was something familiar in it.

 _What was it? Ahh. . .fear. . ._

 _But then again, what was Allen afraid off?_

Was it an enemy? A new discovery? Or was Allen afraid of himself?

If so. . .why? _Why was those eyes being directed at him?_

 _Why do you have fear in you eyes when you look at me? Why would you ever question my sanity?_

Tell me, Allen, your deepest fear. And I'll eliminate it for you.

Tears were pooling those stormy eyes and Allen, he looked so weak now. So, so brittle. His shoulder was shaking slightly from the quiet sobs that Allen was drowning. _So weak. . .my poor Allen. The world has broken you again, hasn't it?_

" _Allen, oh, Allen,_ " He said soothingly, a hand reaching out to cup the side of Allen's face.

There it was, a bright silver, he traced down onto the red scar that ran over one side of his face. Smooth skin and soft to touched, Allen had always been so, so beautiful.

His skin, on the other hand was a shade of dark grey, he realized even in this poor lighting. No wonder Allen was afraid earlier, he was a monster. Born of _destruction_. An abomination, something that should had never existed.

"My poor dearest, Allen," He said slowly and sat up. Now, he had gotten a closer look at Allen.

 _The Allen that had always been dear to him._

 _That had betrayed for him._

 _The king of fools," Allen had proclaimed once, in a previous life._

 _A fool you had been and a fool you are._

 _Did you really think that you could solve everything on your own?_

 _And if so, how dare you for thinking that._

"So foolish, into thinking that you could fix the wrong," He smiled, he was always smiling.

He doesn't understand, there was a rush on him and every cell in his body was tingling with excitement. He felt as if he was above the cloud, this happiness, words cannot explain it. It was maddening. Something was wrong with him.

His thoughts was too wild, too animalistic, too insane. His actions was unpredictable, against his own thoughts. There was that rush in him, of a dam being broke. He felt alive, and yet buried underground at the same time.

He refrained himself from laughing, seeing the horror look in Allen's face as it contorted into a scared expression. The night was maddening, he didn't know what was going on.

All he know. . .was that Allen was angry at him. For leaving him once upon a time, for betraying.

But then again, didn't Allen done the same?

A risk taker back then, Allen did not care of his downfall and instead, acted out as a martyr.

He thought it was only supposed to be Cross that would only act like that, but it seemed, Allen to can do that. They were siblings after all.

And Allen, he was not strong enough and so he broke.

Allen had been broken so many times and it was up to him him to pick up the pieces.

"We were both so, so foolish," he continues, another hand reaching out to cup Allen's face.

Allen face contorted into a frown, his eyebrows furrowed. His silver eyes was glossed, wide and frightened, of a distant memory that he could not recall. Not when he was still not allowed to, but that distant feeling. . .the overwhelming fear. . .He was engulfed by it.

Neah was smiling, golden eyes shining like embers in the dark night. His pupils was dilated, crazed and feral, much like a snake. And he was happy, oh so, happy, like the hatter he is.

"Ha. . .hah. . ." Allen breathed heavily, trying to calm down the erratic beating of his heart.

He continue to stare into Neah's eyes, the golden insanity that seem to hold a few flecks of emerald in them. His skin was an ashen grey and the holy crown was around his forehead. There was an image, a slight flicker.

 _Of silver and gold, of dying embers and burnt ash._

 _And nothing._

His breath caught up, voice hitching, and he clawed those hands, trying to make them leave from his face. No. No. No. No. No.

"Hah _ahaaa **aahhhhaah**_!" He cried out, still starring at those maddening gold.

But to no avail, no matter how much he tried to let the hands go. It would never release. Even when the hateful innocence was digging into him.

\- Please leave the child in your embrace, a gentle kiss-

He was crying, he knew that, desperate of escaping. But from what? He didn't know.

But it was a feeling of fear and stress, and all he want was out, _out, **out**_. Don't let _that_ crept to him.

He doesn't want to remember.

"Hhhh. . .N-no. . .Hhhahahhah!"

* * *

 **Sorry for this messy chapter, I was playing around for a bit. But try to understand what's going on so you don't have to rely on my explanation. It's a little confusing, but hey the start of a new ark. Ark's ark.**

 **Hahah.**

 **As always, thanks for all you wonderful reviews and encouragement. Don't forget to throw your own theories and thoughts if you want. And if you just want to talk, PM me or review. I'm always open, except when I'm sleeping. And thanks for all the likes and favourites.**

 **Before I end this, I want to say goodnight or have a nice day for the people that are reading this.**

 **With love,**

 **Mana**


	34. Chapter 28: For my dearest beloved

_The king lies in a bed of stones,_

 _Without a crown;_

 _Without a home._

* * *

It was maddening, this situation was. Insane. But of course it would be like this, when they had lost their sense.

There was the sound of urgent footsteps coming closer -heavy and desperate- and the clashing of a door -loud and surprising- unhinged. Heavy breathing followed soon after, trying to replace all the oxygen he had lost and then came a low and feral growl.

"What did you do Road!" He hissed, glancing back and forth between the two psychopathic mess and the dark, unlit hallway.

But not waiting for the answer he hurried to towards them, trying to dispate the feud. It was hard, prying them away from one another as each wanted to land a blow. Why they became like this in thr first place? Well, a certain Noah of dreams can explain.

They growled and cried and tried to pry their way out from the deathly hold, but it was not use. In terms of sense and strength, he was superior by all means. After all, he is the leader of this unusual family.

"Unraveling," a child's voice answer to the previous answer.

Road sudden appeared, standing at the entryway sullenly. Watching them with dark and cold golden eyes, it was hard nd soft all at the same time. She was like a ghost at most, standing there unmoving, a large shadow covering the front of her. Though where did the light came?

"Revealing," she answers again, more like stating. The edge of her mouth tugs downwards slightly, clearly unhappy. "You cannot protect them forever?"

Can you not?

It was a challenge, a dare. An accusation.

He was angry, more than that, infuriated. How dare she goes against his prior order? But then again, she never had even thoroughly followed them in the first place. Dreams had only followed her own bindings.

"Oh, I can. . ." He says menacingly, replying to the challenge.

He stared at her, golden eyes fixed into a glare, and another pair in return. They held gazes, each unyielding. He was being daring, but then again, this was a test of dominance.

"Just watch me," he stated, returning back to his two priorities for a moment.

Her eyes hardened with hurt, and yet, she transformed. Bright golden eyes returning back to it's lilac hue and dark ashen turning a couple of tone lighter. She turned her heels to the opposite side, hesitantly standing there for a few heartbeat as if she wants to add something but then, stepped into the hallway.

Then, he returned back his attention to the main problems. An insane mess. They were asleep now, a peaceful dream rather then a frightening nightmare. But, they'll still need protection. Road had managed to breach the barrier that he had put on Allen, a part of his life that he should never remember. And Neah reacted to that, buried resentment surfacing.

 _Allen might had remembered most, but that doesn't mean he should remember all._

There, he layed his palm onto Allen's forehead, muttering a soft prayer. And then, there was a hazy bright light coming from his palm, drowning into Allen's forehead as it sunks deeper into Allen's mind. Neah shifted slightly in his spot, groaning in slight displeasure as his body twist into a more comfortable position but soon calmed down, stopping. He studied the them, watching as both of them starts to nestle up against each other.

A slight smile broke his broadening face, never had he wished anything more then this. But he can't stay any longer, not Mana was starting to wake.

Mana remembers now, but only bits and bits that he'd only allowed to. The one that he had failed to hide.

Mana was confused, they were always confused once they awaken, but this was even more so. Once Mana took his position he won't be able to resurface anymore, only a conscious whisper. Mana would be in the lead and he could only help.

But. . .why does it matter in the first place?

Even when he could no longer control a body on his own, at least the thought of his family. . .it brings peace to him, a sense of clarity.

 _So, for him who had lost everything, this was simply enough._

He looks at them lastly, that sweet, sweet smile of his on his face. And he bends down, swooping away the hair that covers their forehead and kissed them gently. _It was not enough_ , he wraps his arm around them, hugging the twins tightly but not hard enough for them to wake. Whether it was just coincidence or not, his eyes, it began to burn slightly, _not wanting to leave them yet_. Not when he had took care of them for a long time.

"Goodnight," He whispers, chocking back a sob at the back of his throat.

"Goodbye. . ." he finally cried out, unable to hold them any longer, warm drops of liquid finally rolled from his eyes.

 _He was attached_ , it was easy to get attached, but in the end, it was not his place to be besides them. He was always watching and observing, a simple onlooker of their life. But it had been thrilling, just by being besides them even if it was just for a short time.

From here and there, he releases them, not wanting for things to escalate even further from what it actually was. Just a short glance, he had allowed himself to, a last quick inspection.. .He closed his eyes, the constant throbbing of his head making itself known.

He inhaled deeply, only focusing on certain parts of his mind. . .

He wonders, once he is unable to surface how will he protect them? But then again, magic is so powerful, he doesn't even need to have a body of his own to use it. It will be harder to do so, but he had went through worst.

Even when he is unsatisfied. . .he was already so, so happy for all the time he had spent with them

"Sleep well. . ." He mumbles quietly, a reminder for them that will soon leave him.

 _"My children. . ."_

He vanishes silently, in the cold embrace of the night.

* * *

 **So I dedicated this one whole chapter to Adam and Mana had wake. Road is planning something, a test and Ttki. . .I don't who should wake next. You guys should vote it for something, just reveiw who you want to awaken next and dun dun dun. If that character got the most vote then I'll do that for the next chapter.**

 **I'm going to need some help for the Neallen story so I'm going to finish this, then find myself a beta for it. Any recommendations?**

 **Thank you Lena_luvs_cats and jy24 for your constant reviews and also cutiepie120048 for you frequent reviews. Also if any are you is interested in my previous story but I'm afraid to say that you must still wait since I need a laptop or a computer for that.**

 **Until then.**

 **With love,**

 **Mana D. Campbell**


	35. Chapter 29: The return of Red

Mana doesn't exactly understand what's going on (most of you readers by this point), cause all he knows right now was that he's some kind of a leader for a family who's ultimate goal is to wipe out all humans from the face of the Earth, and the only things that is stopping them was the Heart and it's pesky bodyguard. Well, that's the surface.

It also seemed that on the course of 7000 years, he, or more specifically, the original Earl had disappeared. More detailed, broken into two where he and Neah were raised as twins. . .And then Allen and Cross came in, at one bloody night, and then their family came and shits happen. . .

The shits that happened was the only thing that he doesn't particularly understand. For example: _How the actual fuck._ . .did he even managed consume himself in the first place?(Explain the science) And why did he even did that? How- What- _Allen, No!_

He was stressed, and no wonder Adam went away in the first place, all these piles of dung stacking. . .

Okay, to be honest, Mana does know _how_ and _what_ had happened. What he doesn't know, was the real reason behind it. Neah didn't explain when he went all holocaust on his own family. And Allen didn't exactly explain when he went all soul transfusion and deaging and stuff. Things had never been explained, especially when one of them get a sudden idea of how to _'save'_ each other.

Allen is good at soul transfusion, it's better if he was the Earl since it had already become a second nature to him. And Neah. . .Neah is actually quite similar to Cross. . .In a lot of ways.

Actually, he doesn't understand much. Like he knows but doesn't understand. More importantly, his own stupidity.

Mana was tired, he was tired of the war that always ruined his life. For turning them into monsters. No, he hates the Earl for turning them into one. If that. . .vile creature didn't exist then they won't have to go through all the trouble for survival.

Innocence was also one of the factors, that hateful existence, only if it haven't existed. Only if nothing else exist except he and his family then it would finally become peaceful. They could finally spend the rest of their days happily with one another.

The war would be over and he can finally rest.

But that won't happen, not unless he destroy it all.

Not when their numbers is so, _so_ little.

He can wait, after all, he had waited longer before. 7000 years. Patience was his forte.

Right now, things would have to go slowly as he still have so much time still left to waste. And so, he took a deep breath, shuddering from bubbling excitement.

 _"I'm home. . ."_

Adam. The Earl. Mana.

In the end, they were all the same person. Just different sides of the same coin.

It was Road's presence that he had woken up to, in the middle of the night where everything went wrong. And it was his will that took action.

"Road!" he groaned out, trying to sit in an upright position. But it was hard, since his mind was literally objecting to that motion and just want to fucking sleep.

But fuck that since it was he was the one controlling.

He tried to focus on Road's figure, but it was hard when you only got one eye working and not to mention the world was spinning in infinite circles. But it was not impossible.

"Road?" he called again, just to make sure that he was calling an actual person rather then a hallucination.

Road didn't react much, aside from slowly sliding down from her sitting position on the windowsill. Her feet making soft thumps as it lands on the floor, she dusted herself. And Allen wasn't sure if this was a hallucination or not, his mind couldn't actually think and process at the current moment, much less at the same time.

Road walk towards him and it was starting to actually get creepy now, since her eyes were literally glowing a bright gold in the darkness of the room. Not to mention she was regarding him coldly, sending shudders up his spine.

She stopped at the side of his bed, directly right next to him. And Allen was starting to panic a little, going into cold sweat. His left arm starts to twitch unceremoniously, and he wonders why all this _Noahs_ likes to go into their grey state even while knowing a normal human was living under their roof? More particularly a human who happens to wield Innocence.

The silence was demeaning and he cursed his sensitive senses for noticing Road's presence and alerted his mind. It was even more stupid of him for waking up from that in the first place. Or not, he wouldn't have to deal with this stressful moment.

Road. . .she didn't do much aside from suddenly grabbing his arm, which was honestly surprising. "You wretched existence," it took him quite an IQ to realized that the curse was directed to his cursed arm, rather then it's wielder

Her nails began to dig into the hard, scaly flesh. It must had been imbued with dark matter in the first place, since innocence can only be affected by that or other innocence. . .

 _Black Matter?_

"Wait- Road! Calm down," he tried to retract his arm from Road's hold. But he wasn't awakened yet, and Road is in her Noah's form.

If he remembers correctly, the last time someone had managed to actually harm Road was Neah. And it was during the time where he had just woken as a young Noah. No Exorcist or General had ever even scratch her, only the First and the Fourteenth.

" _Road_!?" he called again, desperation laced in his voice.

But Road didn't react to his calling, and instead began to trail her nails towards the green gem at the back of his hand. It reacted, to the opposite substance, flaring up but it didn't do that much to _really_ hurt Road.

And yet, it hurts so much when her long nail traced over his skin. But he wasn't strong enough to wrench his arm away. No matter how much he pulls, tug or twist. It didn't even manage to faze her as she was to focus on the bright, green gem that was pulsing flashes of light.

"Road!" He cried out as she puncture her nails into the gem, tears begin to accumulate in his eyes of the flood of pain that washed over.

She dig deeper and all he can do was cry out in pain.

It was useless trying to pry his arm off, but even thought he knew it, it still didn't stop him from trying.

"Road! Stop, please!" He practically begged. And Allen couldn't stop the tears from falling, not when the pain was too much.

"Road!" He sobbed, his right hand weakly pulling Road's sleeve for the final time.

It. . .it broke. . .

He knew it. . .It hurts so badly, so _so_ badly. He couldn't see properly, as tears was blocking the light from entering his eyes, it was dark. And all he could identify was that two dots of gold he labelled as Road's eyes.

He gave up, releasing his hand from Road's sleeve.

" _Hahahah_!" He cried out in an odd sense of humor. Gripping his left arm as an attempt to soothe the pain.

Road's hand suddenly jerks away, and she sounded so _so_ mortified. "I'm sorry, Allen," she had apologized, hands reaching to wipe away the tears that was blocking his vision.

And now did Allen was able to see the world clearly, Road was in front of him, looking so close to tear. The world around them was dark, and now did he realized that they were actually in her dreamworld.

Allen glanced at his left arm, wincing at the sight of gutted skin and oozing blood that was trickling from the long trail. The gem was fractured, broken into three parts and yet, it still emanating a soft light. But what can he do? he was powerless earlier.

"Oh, Allen," Road had continued to say, her hands reaching out for his multated left hand but retract back when it got close, as if she were afraid to harm any further.

His left hand twitch and probbed, and it was probably at that time was when Road realized that maybe staying in this state wasn't exactly a good choice. The darkness receded slowly, like a curtain pulling back, revealing his darkly lit room. Road eyes truned back to it's purple shade of lavender, and her skin paled to it's usual tone. She regarded him in a sorrowful manner before she ran to the door and left.

At first, he thought that Road had actually left him to recover on his own, but not a couple of minutes later the door swung open, and Mana came in with a slightly disheveled hair and heavy breathing. At least, he was sure it was Mana, seeing as Mana was the only one who could manage that tone of voice. Not even Adam, who had pretended to be Mana had been able to achieve that.

"Allen!" Mana had gasped as he stepped into the room, surveying him with bright golden eyes. "Are you okay?"

One overlook detail was that Mana was in his Noah's form and _how the fuck_ did he even managed to be in that in the first place? And why does he think it was a good idea to be in the same room as someone who had injured his innocence in that _form_?

"Augh!" Allen groaned in pain as his arm began to shot up as a reaction to that overwhelming aura. He gripped his left arm instinctively and doubled-over. "Fuck you all!" he had managed to cry out, head snapped up to glare at them, as if it was their fault he had to go through this ridiculous amount of pain.

Which is true.

"Do not come in here in the form, you idiot!" he cursed at them. _"I will seriously hurt you if you do that again!"_

But they didn't move and just now, did it seemed that it was a good idea for Mana to go back into his white form, and he did. But Allen wants none of that, he was tired, he was hurt and he was in need of a hell lot of sleep. He was cranky as hell and all he need was imbeciles to look after his sorry state.

"Out!" he snapped, silver eyes glaring at them. "Shit, the fuck are you still in here standing there like a bitch? Are you bloody deaf? Do you want me to curse the room so it won't let any other people in, I will fucking do that if you don't go right now!"

They decided, that it was probably best if they leave at the current moment. Seeing as Allen was having hormonal issues on par with a girl on her period.

Allen sigh in relief at the sound of the door closing, he layed back down on his bed and- Fuck! Was this a singular bed? Where was Neah? Was he alone in this room? What were you doing Road?

But he was silently grateful for that seeing as his innocence was acting up and staying in a room, with the Noah of Destruction with innocence that was bursting with power from time to time was probably not good idea.

In the end, he got himself a nice room and a couple of days worth of sleep.

* * *

 **I don't exactly know how to do the flow of the story but at least I managed to write what I wanted to happen. My friends going to beta my story and help me so no need for that. I might not be able to update for this week since I got an event coming up, I have to go to school at five in the morning for the bus, like: For the sake of certificates. So sorry.**

 **Like always, thank you for reading and reviewing my story.**

 **With love,**

 **Mana**


	36. Finale

I would like to say sorry for every wrong that I had done. I am deleting this account.


	37. A message for my dearest readers

**Hi guys, I guess I have a lot of explaining to do.**

 **I'm so sorry for wasting your time on this, but please hear me out.**

 **I'm fine**

 **Though not as much as I would like to be.**

 **I'm so sorry for leaving just like that, but things went wrong way to fast and in the end I wasn't able to handle it.**

 **I never like burdening my family so I been neglecting myself a lot, I never ate my meals and only took some toast and my supplement since time was gold and I can't waste them. I paid my own fees so I used my allowance and saved them, in the end I didn't ate at school also. And I silently took jobs behind them back and actually spent more than 15 hours at school. . . so BAM! My diet was gone.**

 **Then my sister came up, we had been on the verge of bankruptcy to pay for my sister's medical fees. But now that it's over we got a lot of leftovers of stuff and my parents became depressed. I didn't want to make them even more worried so I just handled my own problem. It's sad, but it's in the past so I didn't let my feelings take over.**

 **And to be honest, you could say I'm a piano person. But now I hate it, I can't even listen to my own playing now.**

 **And then school, co academics, international programs, concerts.**

 **I can't focus on anything in my life at that point, I was still sad about the lost of my younger sister. . .**

 **But I can't continue on being like some depressed teen so I decided to forgot everything and only remember what's important.**

 **So yeah. . .**

 **To be honest I may not be the same person who once wrote all of this stories, but I'll try my best to continue what I left.**

 **The current me doesn't like half-assed effort so I'm actually angry as I'm writing this.**

 **But again, I'm sorry, extremely so. Please forgive me. I'm so sorry.**

 **Just give me time, let me recollect the past, I won't abandon anything anymore.**

 **I'm so sorry. Maybe I update tomorrow or the next day, but all I'm asking is time and forgiveness.**

 **Please bear in mind that when I said I decided to forgot anything, I meant it.**

 **My teenage life, gone, just by a single decision.**

 **So hahaha, I screwed up. Look at me, I'm a mess.**

 **I'm so sorry, please forgive me.**


	38. Chapter 30: I loved them, and I still do

_I had a dream once,_

 _of a past that had long left me._

 _I was laughing;_

 _I was crying;_

 _And everything at once._

 _Maybe I really am a fool._

* * *

 _Withered steps echoed silently, as innocent as a child, he never stop walking. Or rather, he doesn't allow himself to._

 _"Neah. . .Mana. . .Neah. . ." He snickered. "Being a villain never had suit you,"_

 _Why must the world be your enemy?_

 _Why couldn't it be mine?_

 _So that's why Neah. . .your spot on the stage. . ._

 _It's going to be mine._

* * *

"You're wrong Allen. . .You're so wrong. . ." Neah had cried out, or did he?

He couldn't really tell apart from dreams and reality.

"You're creating your own demise,"

* * *

The clanging of metal rang across the room, a hand akin to the color of burned ash reaches out for him. The high-pitched ringing burned his ears and forces his eyes to snap open. The sudden brightness causes his eyes to flinch away at the sight before him: hot, _molten gold._

 _Evil._ Some would say. _Destruction._

"Neah," he called out, or at least, a part of him did.

There was red, pooling at the edge of the open skin, flowing downwards as though it was a stream that's obeying Newton's Law of Gravity. Eventually, it reaches at the other side of the river, where the stones were not made out of white marbles but rather of dirty gravel. Red and Grey, Red and Silver. . .

Blood staining the ash. . .

The ringing stabs his ear again.

 _Ah,_ another vision pass his mind. An unwanted visitor.

 _In his opinion, Neah was never suited dead._

 _"Allen," the corpse called from amongst regret-_

"Allen!" Neah calls from the depths of his memories.

 _"I'm sorry,"_ "I'm sorry," _he_ /he apologize, lost at the sight before him.

"Neah," a croaked voice called, was it him? He couldn't tell. But by the sheer desperation laced in that unknown voice causes Allen's vision to turn into focus.

He blinked once, and twice, not sure at what he was seeing cause before him, was truly a sight to behold: Neah was awake, standing and alive before him. Brows furrowed in concern causing the edge of his eyes to wrinkle, and lips, a pale color of dark purple was twisted downward. His inky black hair was flowing upwards as though it itself was oozing away to the night sky. Yes, this was Neah, alive and well.

"What are you apologizing for?" Neah ask him, slow and patient. It's as though he had matured a bit, not like the child that Allen usually sees in his dreams. "You haven't done anything wrong," Neah continues, gazing down at Allen, the mixture of gold and amber was so, so beautiful.

Allen felt lost, he could no longer distinguish those _eyes_ from the waning stars that was tightly knit into the night sky, draped behind like a curtain to further compliment the sheer beauty of the sight before him. Neah looks young again, like a child, voice overflowing with so much emotion and eyes filled with so much concern.

And yet the question still stands, Allen took his time to answer but still wavers, his voice dying halfway through his throat. But Neah still continues, _-in his mind Neah was always moving, always changing-_ Like a nebula collapsing, while Allen was something that was once alive.

* * *

 _For a star to be born,_

 _A gaseous nebulae must collapse._

 _So collapse, crumble._

 _This is not your destruction,_

 _This is your birth._

* * *

 _"Instead of apologizing, why not say 'thank you' for once," Neah said._

Allen eyes widen, and realization sets upon him. The hand that was holding him, was ever getting _fainter._ The figure before him smiled, as though it know something that he doesn't. It was saying something through it eyes, a message to be conveyed. And Allen understood it, he understood it so well from just starring into those eyes.

 _Why are you looking at me with those sad eyes? As though you finally understood everything._

"Why. . ." like a cracked mirror, Allen too was broken. "Why must you become like this, Neah?"

Was he crying? he doesn't know, his vision wasn't blurring. Or maybe his eyes has no more tears to spare.

"Even though you're just an illusion," _The figure_ -the laughing wind and gentle starlight- doesn't react to his comment, as though it was dead. The storm had long since been over. Allen gritted his teeth, hands curled into a ball as it shook silently. "You're suppose to hate me, despise me, curse me," He forces his voice to come out, like an animal baring it's fang, he too was being threatful.

That's what I want? Is this not my dream?

* * *

Even as I try to rouse myself with fury,

more than sorrow, more than anger,

the emotion that arouse within me was. . .

 _despair_

* * *

 _"Words can only hurt, enjoy the silence-"_

"Shut up!" Allen practically screamed, he doesn't dare to glance at the other, in fear that he would loose himself by indulging himself to much in his yearning. "You're not Neah! Don't you ever try to be him! You'll never be him!" His throat was sore from all the screaming, but even so, his hand still desperately clutches to the other's arm as the presence was growing fainter and _fainter._

 _After all, you can never contain the wind._

 _"Use me, Neah!"_ Dried tears fell onto the ground, shattering like children's laughter. It was ringing again.

 _"You. . .just you Neah. . ." he fell onto his knees, hands reaching out and eyes no longer able to cry. "The only thing that's left,"_

 _The Fool, your very existence is a lie._

"Wrong!" Allen growled, gripping the hand that was latched onto his tightly. The figure before him starts to contort, becoming more and more unrecognizable, more unfathomable. And yet, Allen knows it too well.

His hand was now submerged deep underwater, with something at holding other end of it. He was at the pond now, no longer frozen, the water was so clear and yet, you could never see past it nor through it. The only light that is reflected from the pond was your own reflection. The ringing in his ears had died down, as though it was being drowned.

 _"The time that I have is limited. . .so I want to go out with a bang," The sheer desperation and craziness masked the despair behind those silver eyes, untainted, pure, like a clear pond that accepts nothing. It can only reflect._

 _"Tell me, Allen," Neah had asked ever so softly, the gentle flames in the fireplace casting a dull light to his figure. But still, he shines even in the darkness. Worry was not a stranger in Neah's eyes, especially when he as a child who had been tidally locked with Mana. "Do you wish to die?"_

 _Allen smile wavers a bit, he pushes his rising emotion down so it won't leas, but he was a fool, and just like how he deludes himself, he was even better at deluding others. "Of course not Neah, but I really don't have that much time. . .so. . .why not?"_

 _Just one last time._

 _Neah knows Allen too well for this kind of stuff, he really doesn't know how to pick his friend doesn't he? A maniac with no conscious to spare and his suicidal older-brother with no selfishness to care. And yet, they became precious to him, far too precious. Unconsciously, he reaches out at Allen, hands instinctly holding his cheek, just like how they use to as children. . ._

 _"Please come back alive," Neah had usher silently, but his voice cuts through the silence like a pin's drop, gloved finger gently drawing patterns onto the other's soft skin as if it was trying to leave an effect._

 _Allen smiles gently, the smile that always break Neah's heart cause he knows the reason behind it. "Of course, Neah," Allen says. And Neah trust those words with all of his heart._

 _It became just the two of them at that point. Such a family we are._

"Ha ha ha," Allen, silver-haired Allen, laugh mockingly as he was trying to pull his hand from the water but was failing vehemently at doing so. "I got it, I was an idiot, Neah was stupid and Mana was crazy," He continues sarcastically, talking out loud even though no one was there, obviously there was no reply, but he could sense that the mastermind behind his current situation was face palming.

"Let me go! Are you still planning on torturing me?" How many times do you plan on breaking my heart?

Silence greeted him, like an old friend that returned. Allen struggle less and less on freeing his hand with force, until finally he stops altogether. "I wanted to die," He confesses. "So that they could be saved,"

"I wanted to erase my existence, so my absence won't effect them,"

And just like he expected, it didn't use that much force to pull his hand out from the water, he pulls his hands to his thighs. Crouching at the edge off the pond, watching as his reflection do the same.

"Is that all?" He ask to apparently no one. His reflection shook it's head.

And the secret, just like a stream of water, silently reveals itself.

* * *

 **I don't know wether it's good or not, honestly I'm just winging it. Please tell me if there's anything that needs fixing -which is a lot- I'll try to remember back how I used to write, so don't worry.**

 **With love,**

 **Mana**


	39. 305: There's a reason behind my madness

_A single rose can be my garden,_

 _A single friend, my world._

* * *

To be honest, if someone were to ask Allen, why did he choose to befriend with Neah? Why did he even choose to stay in the first place? Why _Neah?_

The answer is simple actually, too simple for such complicated actions;

I was the moon,

He was the sun.

I was war,

He was peace.

I was disaster,

He was beauty.

He was my salvation,

I was his destruction.

 ** **The expression goes on and on. . .until you find yourself lost in the middle of finding it's end.****

It was only Neah at first, but then Mana came along. Loving them is like loving the stars themselves, it's as though you're at the edge of the galaxy and all the stars are in your line of vision. Allen might had never been in love or loved before; he doesn't even know what it feels like. But with them, he doesn't care what type of love it is, all he know that his heart wasn't his property anymore, it's theirs.

* * *

It all started with a helping hand, and eyes as beautiful as the universe. It took him only five second to be completely entrance. After all, he, the epitome of ugly, the devil, a demon or whatever horrendous name that people had called him, could only see filth in others.

And yet those two. . .are just painfully marvelous.

 _"The reason why you see filth in others is because you too are filthy," Someone had said to him a long time ago. . .someone. . just a vague memory._

So that's why. . .I must destroy everything. . .I must be clean in fear of tarnishing them. Do not touch, only observe. . .Never, never come in contact. . .

 **But then, they were stars in a binary system and he was pulled by their gravity, slowly orbiting them. In the end, he was the one who reached put first.**

Cross understood him, his little brother somehow understood him, explaining that those feelings were common and normal for people. Those feelings, they are not bad to be felt, Allen felt glad, he was afraid that it was something wrong and twisted. And if so, he'd have to bury them altogether.

There are two types of people in this word: those who were abandoned and those who abandons. Allen was always abandoned by people that he truly cared, so that's why. . .it's only fair that he's the one who lets go this time, he's the one who abandons. The one who will get hurt will not be him, but the world. He will be the one who leave.

But being with them. . .makes him to never want to let go. He doesn't mind being abused again, if it were for them, it's fine.

It's fine. . .

It's fine. . .

For them... Just for them... I decided _'One cannot live without the other'._

So rather than one of them, why not just minus me in the equation. The two of them had always been together, even from the start and so, the end must be with them two.

"Who are you to decide one's destiny?" Was Mariam question before he left. But he was a hypocrite because he too was the same as me.

* * *

 **To be honest, I was confused about why Allen was so suicidal in the first place. So I dig a little inside all my previous draft, the one that I left a couple of month ago. . .And found all sorts of notes for plots, poem, lot's of poem, six folders of them. So after going through all of it, I guess it makes sense.**

 **Though if you still don't understand you can always ask, my inbox and the comment section is always open.**

 **With love,**

 **Mana**


	40. Auhtor note

Sorry guys, I burnt my fingers from my dominant hand, and it hurts soI think I won't be able to update this week. Sorry.


	41. HELP ME PLEASE

**For most of you who don't know. I have my ABRSM grade 6 piano exam this year and me being me, I lost the CD that came with the book. If there are reader out there, who have the CD for the 2017-2018 exam, can you please share it with me.** **You can put the CD in your laptop and play it, and since most of the laptops are advanced this days you can copy paste it to a new file and attach it to e-mail. If any of you want to help me please PM me or comment. I really need your help, now that I lost the CD I can't really play it.** **Please. And thank you.**


	42. Goodbye

So it seems this is the second time I'm leaving. I'm heartbroken really, seeing as I had enjoyed this site very much. But I can't continue on writing anymore. I'm don't have a lot of time to write anymore and I think it's best if I leave, you might see me commenting on stories from time to time.

I'm really thankful for all you user who jad supported me from my very first update until the end. And I'm very thankful to those who had read and liked my story. And above all, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for leaving like this again and I'm sorry for my stories that I'll never finnish.

Thanks you,

Mana


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